Our Younger Years
by Diporae
Summary: 2K14. The evolution of Raphael and April's relationship over time, built on a shared framework of memories past to weave smoothly into their present and future.
1. Chapter 1: Our Younger Years

**A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence!**

 **Because I've been feeling all the Raphril feels lately, and needed to do something about it...**

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Our Younger Years

It was the first time any of them had been in her apartment. Since her former roommate Taylor had declared she was moving back to her parents' place, April had found she could no longer afford to live in her current residence alone. A two-bedroom was just too expensive in the city. Besides, after gradually becoming closer with the guys, she was not thrilled about the idea of a new roomie keeping her unusual friends away. This left her with no other option but to downgrade to a smaller studio apartment.

Hearing of her relocation, the guys had each in turn offered to help her organize and pack her belongings before her lease was up on the first. Eager for the help, April had asked for Raphael to assist her. It probably seemed odd that she had accepted only Raphael's help, but there was no denying she felt most comfortable with him of all the brothers. Maybe it was because of the time they had spent alone together when trying to save said siblings a few months ago, but whatever the reason, April knew they shared a different kind of comradery.

With Taylor out for the evening, April had taken advantage of the rare solitude and invited Raphael to come over earlier that day. As soon as darkness had fallen, a gentle rap elicited her to crawl out from her gradually building fortress of chaos. Pulling the shades aside, she grinned in greeting at the giant turtle crouching self-consciously on her fire-escape. After unlocking the window, he helped her drag the sticky wooden frame up before carefully easing his large form through the relatively tiny space. Once he was in the living room, they both gave soft "Hey's," before glancing away from each other.

Not quite sure why she suddenly felt her cheeks reddening, April peeked at him from the corner of her eye to see him curiously inspecting his surroundings. Realizing this was probably the first time he had ever been willingly allowed into an ordinary human dwelling, she regained her courage to brightly peep, "Thanks for coming," she gestured around, "See, I really did mean it when I said I could use the help."

Raphael quirked an eye ridge at the half-filled cardboard boxes and domestic debris littering the once cozy landscape, "I can see that."

Feeling her skin brighten crimson all over again, April decidedly weaved through the rubble to maneuver into the kitchen, "Can I get you anything? Beer? Water? Flat ginger-ale?"

"Flat ginger-ale?" He questioned as he blithely used his long legs to carry himself across to her position.

"Taylor, my roommate, says pop tastes better without the carbonation," at his disgusted look, she laughed, "I'll take it that's a no on the ginger-ale."

The corners of his mouth twitched, "I think I'm gonna need a beer to make it through this disaster."

"Hey!" April huffed as she tossed him a cold one, "You try packing up a lifetime's worth of possessions in little over a week while working full time and dealing with a roommate who never gives you any privacy."

Raphael chuckled as he popped the cap, "No worse than moving with Mikey."

"You guys didn't always live in the last Lair?"

"Naw," he rested his carapace on the edge of the counter, "For a while we called home anywhere we could get a night's shuteye without something foul dripping on our heads. Eventually we found an old abandoned tunnel and called it ours for a bit, but a few months in, Sensei realized the place wasn't exactly sturdy."

"You mean it couldn't keep up with the physical needs of four energetic kids."

He thumbed at his back, "Hey you crack this shell against any wall a couple of times and see how "structurally sound" it is then."

April laughed, "Poor Splinter."

"What about poor me?" Raphael snorted, "First real good crack in my shell I got in that place."

"Awe muffin do you want me to kiss it better?" After the words were released from her mouth, April abruptly realized her mistake. Based on the wide-eyed look he briefly gave her before awkwardly coughing, as he spun around to inspect anything but the human in the vicinity, Raphael obviously was just as thrown off as her. After clearing his throat he muttered, "Anyway had to move after that. Found the last Lair a few months later and stayed there ever since – well until we had to set up shop elsewhere after it got – you know – totalled."

Rubbing her arm both from guilt over their old home's destruction and her verbal slip, April walked up beside him, "I still feel awful about that."

"Don't worry about it." Raphael shrugged her off, "How were you supposed to know Sacks was a psycho working for the Shredder?"

"I know…" She continued to rub her arm nervously, "But I'm still sorry about it."

Seeing her forlorn look, Raphael gave her a soft sucker punch to the shoulder, "Chill out April. It's all water under the bridge. Now, what do you want me to do?"

Smiling gently at his effort to steer the conversation into safer and more comforting waters, April directed him to a pile of packed boxes in her room, "If you can label those and then move them into the hallway that would be a great start."

The turtle nodded and accepted her proffered black sharpie. Crouching down, he began to inspect the contents in each box before quickly jotting notes in messy block-like script on the cardboard flaps. For a while, they worked predominately in silence. Raphael dutifully worked to complete his task, while April attempted to sort through the random hodgepodge of objects into some intelligible order before stuffing them into various boxes. Occasionally, they would break the quiet to comment to each other.

After Raphael had made his third trip to the hallway and back to the bedroom, he kneeled before his next target. April glanced up from where she sat cross-legged on her bed when he approached her. She strained her neck to get a better view before he carefully lowered himself beside her on the mattress. He grunted, "This is you."

It was plainly a statement and April tilted her head in question when he turned his green fingers to show her the picture in his hand. At first April wasn't sure why he had drawn her attention to it. Sure, the photograph depicting a much younger April and her father had deep sentimental value to her, but that did not explain Raphael's interest in it. Taking the worn bronze frame from his hand, April inspected the picture closer and nonchalantly commented, "Yes. It's me and my dad. I have a lot of pictures of us together, but I guess I kept this one because it was the last one taken of him before he died." She gave a strained smile of painful yet happy recollection, before looking up at the solemn turtle beside her, "Why?"

"It's not just a picture of you and your dad," a large green finger pointed to the background, "See?"

"What are you – Oh my God!" April felt her eyebrows shoot up her forehead as she took in what she had failed to notice. After all these years of it sitting on her dresser, she had never looked beyond the two smiling faces in the foreground, but there was no doubt it was a picture taken in the old laboratory before the fire. For there, almost unnoticeable because of the clear glass, was a large terrarium and if April squinted just enough, she could make out one or two shapes that were undoubtedly terrapin. One of which could very possibly be the same turtle who sat beside her now.

Raphael filled her shocked silence, "Don't you find it weird?"

She frowned in confusion, "Find what weird?"

"That your pets ended up turning into…" He gestured at his large plastron, "This?"

Upon seeing his furrowed brow and the dark note to his deep baritone, April placed a hand on his forearm, "Raph…"

At her touch, he abruptly stood with his back to her while he huffed, "You should find it weird." He then just as suddenly spun around to growl, "Why don't you find it weird?!"

Unimpressed at his tone, April folded her arms as she retorted, "What about you?"

"Huh?"

April rolled her eyes, "Do you find it weird?"

He looked flabbergasted at the question, "Of course I do! Ain't it obvious?"

"No it's not." She glared up at him ceasing his bid at interrupting her, "You don't have any memories from then. As far as you're concerned, the first time you met me was on the rooftop that night. So the only weirdness is the fact you hadn't really talked to a human before then."

Raphael visibly deflated before turning his back to her once again. He was still for a moment before muttering, "I have memories."

April felt her jaw drop, "Wait. What?!"

He sighed before slowly meeting her gaze with intense amber eyes, "I have memories – you know… From before." He paused so they could both mentally fill in " _the mutation_."

April was dumbfounded, "I thought you guys couldn't remember anything?"

"Mikey and Don can't, but Leo and I can." Raphael sunk back onto the bed, "Sensei thinks it's because we may have been slightly older when the experiments started."

"Wait…" April found her eyes widening in realization, "Does that mean you remember me feeding you pizza and filming you and…" She suddenly was blushing scarlet, "Those times I played dress-up with you?"

"Neither of us remember everything and what we do isn't the same as how you'd remember them: mostly just feelings and sensations – not conscious thoughts." Raphael's lips twitched in amusement at her blush, "I don't remember what you dressed me as, but I do know you put something on me." He scratched his head as he chuckled, "If I recall, I felt pretty constrained in whatever it was."

"Oh God…" April buried her face in her hands, "I take it back. It is weird."

They were silent for several minutes. Both were lost trying to wrap their minds around how that little girl and her pet ended up where they were now. April startled out of her reverie when Raphael pried her fingers off of the frame. He studied it again, before standing and carrying it back to its box. Pulling at the flaps, he commented, "You were the best part of that place."

"Huh?"

"Those injections they used to give us were scary as hell," he rose again after inking a few choice words on the box, "but on the days you were around, they didn't seem as bad." He smirked at her, "The free pizza was good too."

April shook her head in disbelief, before jerking her head upright as a sudden thought hit her. She snapped her fingers excitedly, "I've got an idea!"

Promptly, she lunged off the bed to dig feverously through her closet. Smiling as she found the book she was looking for, April pulled herself into a kneeling position on the carpet in order to brandish her prize in his direction, "Check this out."

"What is it?"

Raphael joined her on the greying floor and she eagerly scooted herself so that she was leaning against his side. Enjoying his warmth, she flipped open to the first page, "My old notebook. I used to make photo collages all the time when I was younger – kind of a visual diary. Anyway, this one is from that summer I spent mostly driving dad nuts at work when I wasn't playing with you guys."

She paused in anticipation as he examined the mass of jaggedly cut photographs that had undoubtedly been meticulously glued into place by a young April. There were pictures of her dad in his lab coat, pictures of her leaning over Splinter's old cage, and of course there she was giving a toothy grin as she gestured proudly with her arms to the turtle-containing terrarium. April felt her breath catch when Raphael lightly grasped her knee when he flipped to the next page. The following four pages were each devoted to an individual exposé of each turtle and of course, there was one dedicated to Raphael himself: a tiny box turtle with his identifying red dot on his carapace. Raphael gasped, "That's me?"

She couldn't help but smile up at him as she wrapped her arms around his own, "Yep." She pointed down at his name plaque, "See, there was even a sign."

Together they gradually flipped through every page. Laughing and making snide remarks where appropriate. April found herself burying her face in Raphael's bicep when they got to the page where she had him boasting a bright red cape and mini hair scrunchies on each leg. April could hear his smirk without even looking, "What kind of super hero costume is that? Come on O'Neil, everyone knows capes are overrated."

Secretly, April had to admit she was pleased he was not put out over the outfit. Knowing his gruff exterior she had fretted he would become irritated, but she figured showing him the picture of Michelangelo in a pink Barbie tutu complete with a matching bow helped deter any resentment he may have felt towards the experience.

Eventually, they reached the last page where the four turtles were encircling a piece of pizza. April laughed at the image, "You know the fact that you guys survived on that diet probably should have tipped off those science jocks that their injections were doing something to you."

Raphael chuckled, "And to think what my life would have been like if you hadn't introduced us to pizza."

"A dim prospect indeed," April giggled. "What would you do without me?"

Raphael glanced down at her where she still was comfortably curled against his arm and allowed his amber gaze to once more meet her blue. April suddenly found her mouth dry and found herself licking her lips. She began to lean in, her heart beating a little faster as Raphael moved closer.

Then they heard a key push into the lock, and their world froze. Before April could even comprehend what was happening, Raphael was gone through the living room window, and Taylor was kicking her boots off in the doorway. Her roommate frowned distastefully at the mess, "Did you even bother to do _anything_ productive while I was out?"

Sighing, April found her sight resting once more on the notebook in her lap. At the red-head's dreamy silence, Taylor rolled her eyes as she stomped into her room, "Weirdo."

April was left chuckling to herself, "You don't know the half of it."


	2. Chapter 2: Salt

**A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence!**

 **By popular demand: I give you part two.**

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Salt

"Salt?" April frowned in question.

"Salt." Raphael confirmed.

It had been two days since April had moved into her tiny studio apartment, and once more Raphael found himself assisting her. However, unlike last time, he was now helping her pull objects from their boxes instead of putting them inside.

He wasn't in love with the place himself. It was open concept with one large room containing her bed, kitchen, and living space with only a pitiful bathroom as the second room. However, Raphael could not deny that although it was smaller, it was within April's budget, was close to her work, and had a set of very large windows leading to the fire escape. He felt his face heat up every time he thought about _that_. He knew April had sought such a feature solely with him and his brothers in mind.

Glancing at the red-head from his perch on the edge of her sofa, Raphael still couldn't decide what to make of April O'Neil. It had been several months since they had saved New York City from Eric Sacks and the Shredder, and the turtles' life had pretty much sunk back into their regular routine once they had relocated to a new Lair.

Well, with one major exception that is.

He knew he had not been the only one of his brothers to assume April would sink back into the cracks once the city had calmed down from chaos. With the exception of Michelangelo, the small mutant family had not even considered that a human would want any further dealings with them. They belonged to two separate worlds; it was the nature of the beast. Yet, despite all assumptions, not only had April not fallen through the cracks, but as the weeks passed, she had begun to form close bonds with each member of their family.

Frankly, most days Raphael had a hard time believing she had even shown up on that rooftop the night Donatello hacked her computer. So it wasn't surprising that he couldn't even begin to wrap his thoughts around her interactions with him.

Especially him.

He understood why she would befriend his brothers. Leonardo could be a stick in the mud sometimes, but often their leader was as much of a goof as the rest of them. Once Donatello overcame his initial reservations, he and April quickly found common ground by talking geek about computers, coding, and the like. Of course she would love Michelangelo. _He was Michelangelo_. _No one could not love him._ Admittedly, April did tell him off on more than one occasion about certain inappropriate comments, but after crossing that bridge the two had easily developed their friendship. Even Master Splinter enjoyed his long chats over tea or over checkers with April.

Then there was him. Why the hell did she keep wanting to hang out with _him_? Why the hell did she keep giving him _that_ smile? Not only that, but why was he the only turtle she was always eager to be alone with? After all he had been the only one to get solo invites to her apartment so far. It just didn't make sense. His conversation was limited at best and half the time he was in what his brothers called "a mood." He was hardly a guy one would purposely want to seek out for down time. Not that Raphael was complaining. He did enjoy April's company and – no he wouldn't go there.

It was off limits. Forbidden territory. Taboo.

Still, Raphael could not deny that there had been something between them in those hours they spent alone before they met up with April's cameraman to chase after his brothers.

Then, of all his brothers, it had been him who grabbed her before she fell to certain death. All previous evidence suggested that it should have been Michelangelo. He had always been the fastest and at the time Raphael had been aching something fierce from the beating he took from Shredder at the Sacks' estate.

But Michelangelo hadn't caught her. Raphael had.

Not that he gloried in being her saviour or some stupid shit like that. He just liked the feeling whenever her skin made contact with his – No! He would go there. Such thoughts _were not for him._

Raphael shook his head and regained his focus on the conversation at hand. "That's one of your most distinct memories?" April sounded clearly unimpressed, "Salt."

Why she was so damn curious about what an ordinary brainless turtle thought was beyond him, but she had asked and so he said the first thing that had come to mind. Apparently "salt" was not what she had expected or wanted to hear. Raphael needed to save face, "Hey, would I make this stuff up? I'm telling you, there were days when you'd show up smelling and tasting of salt."

"Taste?" April's eyebrows rose sardonically.

"What?" Feeling his face burn, Raphael rubbed the back of his skull self-consciously, "I'm sure you knew I licked you here and there…" Now his cheeks were scorching and under her smug smirk he was clearly on the defensive, "Give me a break April! I was a turtle!"

"You still are a turtle." She teased, "That mean you've been wanting to lick me?"

Raphael needed to learn to shut his trap. Apparently he would not learn that lesson today, "Don't change the subject!"

April gave a coy laugh, "You started it."

"I did not."

"Keep telling yourself that big guy."

"Hmph," he grunted, "Last time I tell you anything from those days."

"Awe come on Raph," she batted her dark lashes at him emphasizing her baby blues and making his toes subtly curl into the carpet, "We were just getting started! I want to know more about this "salty" thing."

"Not much else to say," He folded his arms both trying to embolden his resolve and distract himself, "I'm not the one who came in all salty."

April tapped her chin thoughtfully, "It's kind of weird. I don't know what would have changed."

She sunk onto the couch beside him and all Raphael could do when her knee touched his was stare at the ceiling and shrug, "What'd you get up to that would make you smell?"

Inwardly he berated himself. What kind of question was that? He literally had just told April she smelt. He really wished he could still pull himself into his shell like he could before the mutation. Thankfully, April had chosen not to comment on his remark, "I don't know maybe…"

April abruptly stiffened – _then again, or maybe not_. In desperation to avoid her fury, Raphael prompted her, "Maybe what?"

She shook her head allowing her hair to partially block her eyes from view, "Nothing."

Irked by her delay at yelling at him for his stupidity he nearly growled, "Come on! What is it?"

"I said it was nothing!" April snapped, "Look can we talk about something else?"

Stunned by her tone, Raphael gaped at her momentarily while trying to piece together a semblance of a plan that would undo this conversation. Curling and uncurling his fingers left them tingling, especially when he felt her knee subtly rub on his once more. It couldn't be that simple? Could it?

Hesitantly, driven by his will to make things right, Raphael carefully sunk a large hand onto her knee. As soon as he made contact, he knew she was shaking. Horrified that his attempt at comforting her had only made things worse, Raphael immediately withdrew his grip. Cursing himself to hell and back for his stupidity, he almost had his hand back in his lap before his whole body rigidly froze.

April was touching him. April was wrapping her slender fingers over his monstrous index. April was placing his hand back on her knee. April wasn't mad at him!

Wait… If she wasn't mad at him, why the hell was she so upset?

Swallowing a ball of emotional anarchy and confusion he croaked, "April, w-what is it?" Determined to not let his voice crack again he probed further, "Did something happen?"

Finally she sighed, "You'll just laugh at me."

He wasn't expecting that. If anything she should be laughing at him. "Why would I laugh at you?"

"Because everyone else did." She responded flatly.

Feeling his chest muscles tighten at the pain in her voice, he steeled himself enough to give her leg a gentle squeeze. "Well in case you haven't noticed," he even allowed his eyes to meet hers, "I'm not like everyone else."

Eyes of jade peeked out from her chestnut curtain, "No… You're not."

He was still utterly confused, but God she had the most beautiful eyes. "So…?"

"Haven't you ever wondered why I always spent so much time at dad's work?" He hadn't but _he was now_. "A little girl after school shouldn't be practically living at a science lab, but I had nowhere else to go. Money was tight so dad couldn't afford daycare and I couldn't go home because then I'd be alone."

The pieces were beginning to click. Raphael summoned as much softness to his voice as he thought possible, "What happened to your mom, April?"

"The spring before the summer I spent hanging at dad's lab, my mother died."

April looked away, but Raphael caught sight of a solitary tear trailing from her lashes. Then he smelt it. His sensitive nose could smell the salt from her tears. Suddenly he knew holding a knee was no longer enough. Prying his hand away from her grasp, Raphael lifted his muscular arm so that it gently encompassed her shoulders before he pulled her closer to his plastron for an embrace.

For a moment April was rigid in his hold, but soon sank her weight against him as she nestled into his chest. He didn't know what to do next. He had never been good at this sort of thing. All he could do was murmur into her hair, "I'm sorry April, I didn't know."

"That's because I never told you." She mumbled into his chest, "I cried a lot that summer and into the fall. The kids at school used to tease me and call be a cry baby because they would find me bawling alone all over the place. The restroom, the playground, by the coat cubby, anywhere that I thought I could get a moment's respite from it all."

"Didn't they know what you were going through?"

"Yeah… But that didn't matter once it became a habit. I was April Showers, the cry baby." Pulling back to rub her eyes, she gave him a false grin, "So I guess you smelt the salt from when I was crying." She sniffed, "Look, after all these years, I'm still doing it. Pretty stupid right?"

Raphael stared blankly at her trying to process how incredible the human being before him was. It was almost as unfathomable as the number of times he could recall that one little girl greeting him while smelling of salt. He felt his gut churn in shame remembering how much he loved those days because of how her fingers tasted. Suddenly, he pulled her fully into his lap against his chest, "It's not stupid April."

"Raph…"

He held her firmly while still being careful not to crush her, "It's not."

April settled into his hold and for a wondrous minute the two simply sat in each other's comfort. Eventually, Raphael returned to his self-conscious state and abruptly released her to jump to his feet. Rubbing his neck sheepishly he muttered, "Sorry. Didn't mean to get in your space."

"You didn't," April shook her head, "I needed it." She gave him a true genuine smile and as she stood, she took his hand and gave it a tiny squeeze.

Becoming steadily more overwhelmed by his own unmentionable emotions, he nodded to the window, "It's getting late. I should probably get back."

"Fair enough." As he briskly dragged the sill up, she gave him _that_ smile again, "Thanks for coming over and helping me out."

He waved her off as he began to maneuver through the window, "'S nothing."

"See you around?"

Raphael nodded, "'Course."

He began to turn away into the night, but her voice made him freeze, "Hey Raph." He looked at her curiously, "I'm glad you're not like everyone else."

She then closed the window and left him standing there speechless. When the hell did salt become such a loaded topic?

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 **A/N I had no intentions whatsoever of continuing this into something more when I wrote the one-shot "Our Younger Years," but then I got a lot of love and the plot bunnies started multiplying… Thank-you so much for reading and reviewing!**

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 **Now to my lovely reviewers (for those of you new to my stuff this is something I do in multi-part fics to show my appreciation to those who are generous enough with their time to give me a review):**

 **Moonlight-Damsel: Omg I cannot believe I didn't think of that until you pointed it out XD Thank-you for reading and reviewing! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it :)**

 **JunjouRomanticafortheWindxoxo: I know right? Roommates can be such a pain lol. Thank-you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D**

 **TheLadyOfSouls: Thank-you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!**

 **Debby-san: I love them too! I'm not much one for romance usually but it's something about these two that make me so happy. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it! PS. Don't worry! You did pretty well!**

 **TheWinterMe: Ahh good to hear from you Winter! I'm glad that it made your day better :) Hopefully today is going well for you, and if not, hopefully this helps cheer you up 3**

 **RBBBH: Fair enough. You can use whichever version of April you'd like it doesn't matter to me because they're my OTP in most TMNT incarnations ;) Nonetheless, I'm thrilled you liked it despite the initial Megan Fox image!**

 **Daklog73: Thank-you! That was precisely what I was trying for. I'm glad it came out well!**

 **Guest: Bam, wish fulfilled! Thank-you for reading!**

 **FeatherArtist: Yes! Raphril fans unite! I cannot deny I love them too. So so so much lol. I'm glad I made a fellow Raphril fan happy :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Cherries

**A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence. Minor warning for a few swears.**

 **Wow, I got so much love for "Salt!" So since I came up with another idea I figured I'd share it with you. It's pretty short and borderline drabble, but I think you'll enjoy it. :) Thanks for reading!**

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Cherries

"Come in Raph!" April answered in response to the knock on her opened window. She had finally settled into her new place and was more than relieved her move was completed before the worst of the summer's heat set in. Not only that, but she knew she was entering into several pretty busy weeks at work and would have little time for the guys. They understood, but that didn't mean April wouldn't miss them. This was especially true of the turtle who was now leaning on her kitchen counter.

After having the luxury of Raphael's help over the last few weeks, April was reluctant to sacrifice her time with him so that she could put in more hours at the office. On the other hand, April knew that the distance between them would probably do her some good. Certain thoughts kept creeping up on her unexpectedly and she was nowhere near ready to cater to them. Still either way, it was her problem to deal with, and she would not waste her remaining free time with Raphael fretting over her feelings towards him.

That was why she had invited said turtle over tonight under the guise of wanting to thank him for his help. She was more than appreciative for said moving assistance, but that did not mean she could indulge in her ulterior motives.

April had racked her brain for days trying to think of something that would show her gratitude, yet be personal. Knowing Raphael was not much for physical possessions, had only made her task more difficult. In the end, it had been when she glanced at the picture of her father with the turtles in the background, which Raphael had discovered a few weeks ago, that had given her inspiration. The fact they were in season, made her plan all the better.

Once their typical social-obligatory greetings were given, April turned to the fridge, "So, it's not much, but I wanted to do something for you for helping me out with my move and everything."

She grinned into the cold interior at the shyness of his voice, "You didn't have to do that…"

Pulling out the container to face him, she shook her head, "No I didn't "have to," but I _wanted_ to."

"Ok…" Raphael rubbed the back of his head before nodding to the red-lidded Tupperware, "What is it?"

Prying the lid off, April brandished her present, "Fresh cherries!"

Tiny red heart-shaped fruit glistening in the kitchen light. After a moment of staring quietly at them, Raphael looked even more uncomfortable, "Aren't those the things they put on sundaes?"

"Kind of," April tilted her head, confused at the lack of enthusiasm, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Raphael was quick to respond.

April was not fooled, "Raphael, what is it?"

He looked down at the floor adamant to not meet her stare, "I never liked those much."

"What?" This didn't make sense. April knew he liked them… Loved them even.

"Kind of hate them." Raphael muttered.

"No you don't."

Surprised by the confidence in her statement he finally looked up, his mouth a thin line, "Pretty sure I know what I like and don't like better than you April."

"Apparently not," she huffed, "Don't you remember eating them?"

"Yeah," Raphael grumbled, "Mikey was always putting the stupid things on our sundaes."

The light of comprehension dawned, "I just told you; those _are not_ the same thing."

"You said they "kind of" were," he grunted back.

"And by "kind of," I mean they are called the same thing, but taste totally different," she gestured at the pile of fruit, "These are fresh and real and not preserved in gross sugar."

Finally, Raphael cautiously inspected the cherries, "You sure? They don't look very different."

"Yes," April rolled her eyes, "I'm sure. Trust me, you'll like them."

Evidently, he was not fully convinced, but April remained patient as he gingerly picked up one before placing it in his mouth. Warily, amber eyes flicked to her before April finally saw the subtle jaw movement of him biting down.

The effect was instantaneous. Immediately any previous expression of trepidation vanished and was replaced with ecstatic elation. "Holy crap."

At his shocked and widened eyes April giggled, "Well? Still hate them?"

Spitting out the pit into the bowl she offered, Raphael shook his head in disbelief, "Shit. You weren't lying April. They are different."

Picking up her own, she smiled, "They're good right?"

He quickly followed suit, "Fucking amazing more like."

"I told you," April smugly grinned as she bit into her own cherry.

For several moments, they were silent as they both relished in the sweet tender flesh of the fruit. Eventually Raphael paused long enough to ask, "How'd you know?"

"You used to love them when you were little." Her eyes twinkled at the memory, "Believe it or not, I didn't just bring you pizza. I used to bring fruit and veggies too, which included these. Of all your brothers, you loved them the most. Heck, you used to bowl through them just to be the first, and you didn't do that for anything else."

Frowning in concentration, April watched as he tried to remember. After a moment he nodded, "I do remember eating something really sweet." Raphael rubbed his neck, "Kind of fuzzy though."

"They're only in season a short time and can get expensive." April shrugged, "So I only brought them a few times. Maybe that's why you don't remember them super well?"

"Maybe," Raphael went for another handful, "I ain't forgetting 'em now though."

She laughed, "I'm glad they're a hit."

Later that night, once Raphael had left and April was in bed, the red-head was casually flipping through her photo scribbler when her phone buzzed. Pulling up the message screen, she grinned as she shook her head.

 _Raphael: Thx for the cherries_

 _Raphael: Can u buy more?_

 _April: Sure :)_

 _Raphael: Thx_

Still shaking her head, April's smile broadened as she returned her attention to the book. An image of a younger April feeding a sliver of cherry to a tiny Raphael would be the thread in her blanket of dreams.

* * *

 **A/N This came from the idea that the turtles probably almost never could get a hold of fresh fruit until they met April. Frozen or canned maybe – fresh definitely not.**

 **Thanks for all the awesome feedback guys! I definitely didn't think this would be more than a one-shot, and so I thank you for motivating me to keep going! Seriously, every new review I've gotten has asked for me to keep going, which is mind-boggling!**

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 **To my lovely reviewers:**

 **RBBBH: Thank-you! I always felt that since Raph is so used to using his dry humour or anger to deal with things that doing anything otherwise would make him uncomfortable. April especially helps calm him down and so without his anger he's left with the awkwardness XD Besides, he is such a softie at heart, I can't help but indulge!**

 **Moonlight-Damsel: Thank-you! I'm glad you liked it :)**

 **SetoAngel01: Haha Story of my life! I pretty much feel the same way when I see that you've posted something ;) Seriously, more Raphril needs to happen! I guess in the meantime you and I shall keep the ship sailing.**

 **Larka13: Thank-you! I'm thrilled I have made another Raphril fan happy :)**

 **Gwydion: Yay! Now I've got you reading more Raphril stuff! I am slowly bringing you fully onto the ship and I love it! Thanks G, I am psyched you like the idea. It just didn't make sense for Raph to remember everything, and the things he did as you and I would. Haha Dude, I actually thought of you when I wrote that line and our earlier conversation! XD Still, the law had to be laid!**

 **Daklog73: Thank-you! I'm super pumped that I have made another Raphril fan happy!**

 **TheLadyOfSouls: Not much in April's head in this one… But who knows what the future may bring ;) Thank-you for reading and reviewing!**

 **Guest: Thank-you! I'm a Raphril fan all the way, I am psyched someone who doesn't typically ship enjoyed this :)**


	4. Chapter 4: Pencils

**A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence! Also minor swear warning still applies.**

 **This one started as two, but then I merged them. Thus, a nice long one for you all!**

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Pencils

He was being stupid _again_ – a total dork, a complete idiot, a freaking creeper. Yet somehow, he just couldn't help himself. At first he thought he was simply being restless – not a particularly foreign feeling to him. Usually smacking around a few low lives or hitting the weight room cured him of that pretty quick. Usually.

It was quickly becoming apparent that this _feeling_ was not part of his typical repertoire, and could not be subdued by physical exertion alone, which was a serious problem for Raphael.

He had always been a physical being through and through. It was how he had learned to cope with the challenges his life often presented him and most importantly helped him temper the intense energy he always felt near the surface. That pressure built quickly, and if he didn't release it, he and his family knew all too well what kind of entity awaited them on the other side. Even if it was released regularly, Raphael was all too aware of the anger that constantly lurked ready to defend its host at any hint of trouble.

It was how he lived, how he dealt, and how he coped, but something was changing. This energy had built a new kind of resistance, and Raphael found himself at a loss when his tried and true techniques proved utterly useless in dissuading it.

Well, it wasn't as though he was completely oblivious as to the source of this ferocity – Raphael's problem rested more within his refusal to acknowledge it. Yet, every day he spent away from _her_ , the more his inner frustration grew, and Raphael slowly began to realize he couldn't keep away forever. He just couldn't.

Unsurprisingly, these secret confessions left him more than a little unraveled and feeling more than a little self-critical. He found himself wondering if she no longer liked him, which was stupid because _he knew_ April hadn't been around because of the recent heavy demands at work. These very concerns were alleviated and reinforced as "stupid" every night when he saw her arrive at her apartment far too late into the night for a person who would be awake again at six.

Not long after these thoughts, Raphael would then begin a self-lecturing that would make even Leonardo proud, concerning the level of "creepiness" he had reduced himself to. He was literally watching her apartment every night for her to come home. He was pretty sure April had scolded Michelangelo within one of her first visits at the Lair about the wrongness of such activities.

Yet, here he was on her rooftop for the fourth night in a row, watching for any sign of her. Yes, it was definitely something a stalker would do. Raphael figured the only thing going for him at this point was the fact that he at least hadn't watched her sleep.

He wasn't even a good stalker. If he was, he would admit that six o'clock was far too early for April to come home considering her current average. Yet here he was, lurking in the twilit shadows waiting. There had to be a word for someone like him – right, _idiot_.

Sighing in frustration at his inner turmoil, Raphael pinched the fabric of his mask between his eyes. His brothers hadn't been concerned by April's increased absence so why was he so damned obsessed with how she was doing? He knew she was ok – he could just turn on the TV to likely see some News report with her in it. It didn't make sense and it put Raphael into a pretty piss poor mood most of the time as of late. When he opened his eyes again – hoping to find the discipline to get his ass off the damn rooftop – all thoughts of his stupidity instantly fled from his mind.

April's light was on.

For a second he thought he must be imagining it, but then he saw the silhouette of her slender figure and knew she was home. Immediately, he stepped back from his own roof edge before sprinting to take a flying leap onto her rooftop. It was when he was half-way down her fire escape, he froze.

What kind of creeper would April think of him if she found him outside her window within minutes of her arriving home? He didn't need to ponder long on that one. It would be obvious he had been spying on her, and all that would await him upon her conclusion of this, would be a lecture similar to the one Michelangelo had received. Then he would probably be banned from her apartment.

Yeah, he'd be a _real_ catch then.

 _Wait._ He did not just think that.

Swiftly he spun around, but almost immediately the shrill sound of a smoke detector cut through the air. Half torn between concern over April's safety and fear of her discovering him, Raphael essentially was paralyzed upon the cool metal. His decision was stripped from him when the window shades were abruptly thrown open to emit a string of curses, "Of all the nights, the one time I'm – Raph?"

Raphael hesitantly turned to see April leaning through the window frame. Her hair was obviously half-done and she looked more than a little flustered. Dreading his imminent doom, he managed to choke out, "Uh… Hey."

She tilted her head in confusion, "What are you doing here?"

Scratching the back of his head trying to stall for time he slowly ground out, "I was in the neighbourhood… Thought I'd drop by?"

He looked sheepishly at her and awaited the onslaught, but instead of anger or accusations of his creepiness, April's face completely transformed to beam up at him, "Ok. I won't be here much longer, but you can hang out until I'm ready."

Raphael gaped at the window in shock for a moment before following her inside. The breeze from the window had cleared any remaining smoke from the stovetop where a small pot of instant soup was heating. That wasn't what primarily concerned him at the moment though. Now that he could properly see her, Raphael couldn't help but stare. April was dressed in the most beautiful emerald green cocktail dress he had ever seen. Admittedly, he hadn't seen many in real life, but against her pale skin and chestnut hair, she looked stunning. It wasn't until he noticed her blushing that he thought to divert his attention to examine the ever-entrancing wall, "You look nice."

"Thanks." Her voice ringed with surprising shyness. Why was she shy about him seeing her? It was _him_. Not like he was one of those good-looking hotshots she often interviewed. He was just a giant green turtle. _No one_ should care about impressing him. "I'm doing interviews tonight at the mayor's gala. It's a formal event."

"Cool."

"I suppose it is," she was obviously struggling to find words as much as he was, "I uh… I have to finish my hair; would you mind the burner for me?"

"Sure, don't want to put all my hard work to waste by having you burn down the place."

"Haha, very funny," she huffed, "I'll have you know that stupid stove is always sending the smoke alarm off."

"It's not the stove but the one who uses it O'Neil."

"Just watch it," she sniped while entering the bathroom, "and ignore the mess. I've barely been home all week." Shaking his head, a smirk playing on his lips, he strode over to the kitchen and dutifully began stirring the bubbling brew.

Only then did he allow himself to inspect her apartment. She was right, it _was_ a mess. Small piles of clothing surrounded her bed while her table was buried under an avalanche of books and papers. The sink and surrounding area proved that her dishes were desperately needing to be done. April was not a clean freak, but she was never a slob. It was a testament to how busy and exhausted she probably was that she had allowed her home to fall into such a state.

Secretly, he hated seeing her like this – a mass of worry and anxiety fueled by too little sleep and too much work. Raphael got her job was important to her, but still… Sometimes he wondered why she did what she did. Nevertheless, he wanted to support her as best as he could – he just had no idea how. This left him with at least ensuring her food made it into her undamaged while still feeling predominantly useless.

Several minutes later, April emerged – how she got her hair to stay that way Raphael would never understand – to rush over to the kitchen, "I'm running so late! Vern's going to be here in like five minutes and I still haven't done my make-up!"

A little concerned about the soup burning her throat, Raphael frowned as she sped through a mug, "Ain't that a little warm?"

"Trust me, I've drank enough scalding cups of coffee over the years," She flung back the rest, "A little soup won't kill me."

She then rushed back to the washroom. Raphael flicked off the burner and called over to her, "What do you want to do with the rest?"

"You can have it if you want." She called back, "If not stick it in a container and put it in the fridge."

Opting to fill his empty stomach, Raphael poured the rest into a bowl. Just as he was draining the last of the minestrone, he heard a knock at the door. April hissed, "Shit. Shit. Shit! That's probably Vern!"

She whisked out of the bathroom to crane on her tiptoes to see through the peep hole. Once convinced it was indeed her cameraman, she pulled open the door. Vern's voice was impatient, "Come on O'Neil, we need to be there by seven!"

"I'm almost done Vern!" April groaned before flying back to the bathroom, "I just need five more minutes."

"You always say that and that's why we're always late." Raphael abandoned his bowl and folded his arms. His carapace was once more up against the countertop, but he did not use it to lose an inch of height. When Vern turned around the corner, the man nearly jumped out of his skin, "RAPHAEL! Uh… Long-time no see."

If he wasn't put in such a foul mood over his appearance, Raphael would have smirked, but he was not exactly _fond_ of Vern. It wasn't that the cameraman had ever done anything to Raphael personally, but it didn't take a genius to gather how the man felt towards April. He had seen how Vern looked at her, and every time he did, it made Raphael's guts roll in anger even though he had no right such emotions. Tonight was no different, "Nerds wear tuxes now?"

Vern glared up, "They do when they are taking the princess to the ball."

Raphael's mouth pressed into a firm line while he glowered down at the human, "What, you her prince charming now?"

"Yeah, I kind of am," Suddenly Vern quirked his eyebrows in amusement, which only made Raphael more unimpressed, "A damsel in distress needs her knight."

In response, amber eyes narrowed dangerously, "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?"

Balking slightly under Raphael's palpable fury, Vern muttered, "Just saying it like it is."

"First off," Raphael unfolded his arms to take a step forward, "April ain't anyone's "damsel in distress," and second –"

"I'm ready!" April erupted from the bathroom abruptly cutting Raphael off.

He was all too aware of how quickly Vern had scuttled from the kitchen over to the doorway. "Finally! Let's get out of here then," he pulled open the door.

Forced to keep out of eyesight from the hallway, Raphael remained in the kitchen. April slid on her heels, "Sorry to bail on you Raph. I promise we'll do something next week after I get back from my cousin's wedding."

"No problem." His jaw felt way too tight, "I gotta go anyway."

April frowned at his expression, "You ok?"

"Fine."

"O'Neil!" The human nerd called, "Let's goooo!"

"Coming Vern!" She snapped back before turning back to him, "You sure?"

He kept his face frozen, "You better go before Romeo has a hernia."

"He's not my Romeo!" She tilted her head, her eyes widened with something he could not read, "You _know_ that."

Raphael shrugged indifferently before turning to the window, "Have fun April."

"Raph…"

He glanced over his shoulder to grunt, "Watch out for prince charming over there," before skillfully ensuring he disappeared into the city's darkness from April's perspective. Really, he had simply reassumed his post on the high rise opposite, allowing him to privately fume as he watched April ride off in her Channel 6 News chariot. _Prince charming his ass_. Anger and frustration began to boil over, leaving the turtle itching for a fight.

It really was unfortunate for the two muggers a few blocks over to choose tonight and this particular neighbourhood as their target. Fifteen minutes later, two unconscious scum balls, and one anonymous police call later, Raphael was back at his station pacing furiously over the dirty cement. He was ever-so-slightly-less pissed than he was when April first left, but he was far from calm. Past experience as of late had taught him when possessed with this specific kind of fervour that no matter how many thugs he took out, his mood would not so easily be alleviated. This only made him more frustrated, to the point where Raphael felt his very skin almost unbearable.

Glaring over at the now-dark apartment, Raphael violently gave off a steady stream of silent curses. This was all _her_ fault. His anger had been a big enough problem on its own before he met her. Now, for whatever reason, her presence had made it worse. Even bashing in skulls couldn't release this internal pressure and it was all because of her! _What the hell was she doing to him?_

If Vern was no prince charming, Raphael certainly wasn't. Yet, even just thinking about Vern filming her tonight made him coil his muscles in hot ire all over again. That human dweeb wouldn't know romance if it punched him in the face. Not that Raphael was by any means an expert, but he had to be better than _him_.

Suddenly, Raphael set his chin in adamant determination. He would show that ass-wipe that April deserved better. Once more, the turtle flew across the rooftops before pelting down the fire escape. A few swift chosen moves with a sai and the window easily popped open, admitting him inside the dark interior. Immediately he jerked the shades closed before hitting the lights and setting to work. Raphael had helped April move and unpack all her shit. No one knew better than him where it all went.

First he set to the laundry. Without paying much attention to what articles he picked up, he quickly gathered all the piles before tossing them into her hamper. He then set to the bedding. It was clear April hadn't recently washed her sheets, and although Raphael would not touch her clothing – for a number of reasons – he could do bedding. Minutes later, the white sheets were cheerily churning away in her washer – as if that bathroom weren't already cramped the stacked washing and drying machines made it next to impossible for him to move in the tiny space.

Satisfied with that, he then turned his sight on the kitchen. Leonardo wasn't the only one who could be anal about a clean living space. Although Raphael was not as aggressive about it towards the others – he didn't know which of his younger siblings was more of a slob – he still could be found wordlessly cleaning up after Michelangelo or Donatello had been through a room. Never done in a passive aggressive manner, Raphael simply did it. Oddly, it was one of the few things that didn't set him off; Leonardo on the other hand, would have any observer thinking they had just witnessed the apocalypse.

Consequently, Raphael had no reservations attacking the mess in the kitchen. About an hour later, April's dishes were cleaned, dried, and put away, the countertops and sink were sparkling, and the apartment as a whole was transformed. The only areas Raphael had not touched were the table and the bathroom – it was hard enough moving the sheets to the dryer let alone scrub a toilet (besides, it wasn't that bad).

Satisfied with what he had accomplished so far, he surveyed the apartment before once more zeroing in on the table. Originally he had left it, afraid of disrupting the chaotic order of April's work, but it was not the clutter that concerned him. It was the mountain of work that clearly called for the red-head's attention, and there was nothing he could do to help. Folding his arms, Raphael frowned at the offending papers and pencil stubs. Said writing implements actually had his eyebrows raised in surprise.

The pencils – if they could even be called that at this point – were no bigger than his thumb nail and the erasers were long rubbed into nonexistence. There was no way he could write with them and he doubted even April could – at least with any proficiency. After digging in the drawer where he knew she kept such supplies, Raphael straightened himself upon discovering a full box of unopened and sharpened yellow number two's. Why the hell would she keep writing with those pathetic stubs when she had these?

He inspected one of the stubs again. Was there something special about these? Raphael had always thought a pencil was a pencil was a pencil. End of story. You wrote with it, you sharpened it, and repeated. So what the hell was so great about April's little yellow stubs?

Then it hit him, they weren't yellow.

His eyes narrowed, it was hard to tell at what was left, but there were clearly remnants of a non-mustard coloured pattern on each one of the stubs. Even some of the eraser beds had not been the standard pink. Seriously? April would much rather write with a bloody coloured stub than a perfectly good yellow one? Raphael thought she liked yellow! Apparently, he was missing something when it came to the art of choosing pencils.

He frowned, now that he thought about it, he did vaguely recall a young April often holding something colourful in her hand when she came to visit them. Probably the only reason he could even remember was because every time she had him out with it, he tried to bite the colourful rod. They hadn't tasted very good and the shiny ones sometimes even left a gritty feeling in his mouth. Yet, after all these years, April still apparently favoured such pencils. Huh. Go figure.

Still, that didn't mean she had to write with those pathetic excuses. Fifteen minutes later the dryer finished, the bed was made, the lights were off, and Raphael was outside, ready to complete his final mission for the night. It took a bit of time to find a store that did not have a security system, which would record him. The last thing he needed was to call home and explain to Leonardo why he needed Donatello to hack into the records of a stationary shop to delete the video records. He would never hear the end of it.

Eventually, he found one that met his requirements. Sneaking down to the back, Raphael smoothly picked the locked before letting himself into the quiet darkness. His eyes adjusted quickly to the dim light and Raphael began his search, taking extra care to shift his weight accordingly to keep the old hardwood floor from creaking. Finally, he found an aisle literally devoted to writing utensils. Raphael didn't know this many even existed and silently wondered why anyone would need so many different ones. Still, his job tonight was not to question the strange needs of humans, it was to find some damn coloured pencils.

At the end of the row, on the middle shelf, he hit the jackpot. Crouching down, Raphael's eyes widened at the options. There was literally every cartoon pattern imaginable: super heroes, smiley faces, rainbows, clouds, stars, unicorns… The works. He frowned, how the hell was he supposed to choose? He couldn't even tell what was on April's old pencils for reference.

Staring down at the floor in concentration, Raphael racked his brains for a distant memory that could help him. However, his frown only deepened further from this. All he could dig up were blobs of colour. What he really remembered was the taste and smell of them. Lifting his head, Raphael glowered at the shelf. There was no way in hell he was licking a pencil to find the right one! Even smelling it was out of the question.

Raphael rose.

This was a stupid idea to begin with. April would think he was acting like a total idiot if he gave her a handful of unicorn pencils. Not only that, but if the guys ever got wind of it, he would be at their mercy for months to come.

He turned towards the exit, he should just go home and call it a night. He had done enough damage for one day. Yet, despite his internal antagonism, Raphael found he could only take a step away before slowly returning his attention to the rack.

No, he could do this. April had gotten him a whole freaking case of cherries for fuck's sake. If she could do that, he could bloody well get her a few damn sparkly sticks. He crouched down again. There had been three stubs on the table.

He just needed to replace those. Three. He could do three.

Narrowing his amber eyes, eerily reflecting light into the darkness, Raphael sought his nerve. An embarrassing number of sniffs and one or two unfortunate licks that left his tongue riddled with grains of glitter, the mutant turtle proudly examined his plunder. He had even done better than expected, gathering five pencils instead of three. Adding up the cumulative price, Raphael deposited the appropriate amount of change on the counter by the cash register before exiting and relocking the store.

It was well after midnight by time he made his final trip to April's for the night. The place was still dark and there no sign of April. Pleased he had beat her home, Raphael slipped inside once more. Carefully depositing his cargo on the table, he froze when he heard a key in the lock. Knowing he couldn't make it to the window and get it closed before being seen, he remained where he was hoping he could make his escape when April went to the washroom before bed. However, Raphael was fresh out of luck, because April opened the door and flicked on the lights allowing her to zero in on her transformed apartment. She gasped as the door slid closed, "What…?"

Then, instead of going to the washroom, she moved forward into the living area having both the kitchen and a sheepish Raphael come into sight, "Raph?"

"Uh…" Never before had he felt so big and bulky. More than anything he just wanted to vanish on the spot.

April looked around again before returning her gaze to him, "Did you do this?"

"Uh…" He rubbed his neck nervously, "I uh… Just wanted to help…"

She blinked several times before her face utterly began to radiate from her smile. When she ran at him, Raphael felt the air leave his chest even though she had barely made an impact on his plastron, "Oh my gosh, thank-you Raphael! Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!"

A golden bubble of warmth blossomed in his gut as her tiny arms wrapped as far as they would go around his sides. She was so small and perfect and beautiful and here she was dressed in that gorgeous dress _hugging_ him. Slowly, he dared to lightly place his hands on her back, "'S nothing."

"It's not nothing!" She continued to beam up at him, "I've never had something like this happen before!"

"Yeah well…" He shrugged, "'Bout time it did."

April pulled away and instantly spied a certain neat row of items that had not been there before she left, "What're those?"

"Uh…" Raphael knew he was blushing now, "Pencils…"

Pale fingers plucked each up before April inspected them individually. One had a blue background with little fluffy clouds dotting it, one was white with yellow smiley faces all over it, one was coated in solid red glitter, one was black with glittery yellow stars, and the last – although it hadn't smelt or tasted very memorable he couldn't resist – had little cartoon turtles on it. With all five gathered in her hands, April looked down at them, briefly at him, and then at them again. When she continued to stare at them in silence Raphael panicked, "It's cuz of those stubs you have. They can't be easy to write with and I saw you weren't using the yellow ones so I figured maybe if I got you these…"

Abruptly he was silenced when she lunged herself at him again, except this time she didn't wrap her arms around his abdomen. Instead, April stood on her tip toes so that she could get her arms around his neck or at least touch it. Subconsciously moved by her efforts, Raphael bent his legs slightly and hunched over so that she could reach better. Once more he allowed his hands to rest on her back. April's eyes shone in the light, "This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me Raph."

He knew his cheeks were blazing, but he could not restrain a little genuine grin from creeping onto his lips, "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Then it happened. He didn't know how, but somehow Raphael found April's soft lips on his large ones. It was tiny and chaste, but when she opened her eyes after, Raphael saw that same something from earlier in their deep sapphire depths, and it made his heart gallop.

He was speechless. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he wanted her so badly it threatened to tear him apart. Hesitantly, he pulled her that little bit closer and wondered if she could feel his heart pound in ecstasy at her body's engulfing warmth. April smiled shyly up at him while he grinned dopily down at her before, despite herself, she gave a huge yawn. Finally he found strength enough to chuckle, "I should let you get some sleep."

"Yeah," April rubbed an eye, "I'm beat."

Never before did he find it so difficult to release someone from his arms. Reluctantly, he approached the window, "You said you've got a wedding to go to?"

"My cousin's." She sighed, "It's on Saturday. I leave first thing tomorrow so I can make the rehearsal dinner."

He frowned, "You up to that?"

"I have to be. Robyn's like a sister to me. Her parents, my aunt and uncle, took me in after dad died. I would have been there sooner if it hadn't been for the gala. I fly back Tuesday, but with work, I probably won't have a chance to come by the Lair until next Friday. Would you apologize to the guys for me?"

"Don't apologize, they don't mind."

She quirked an eyebrow, "And you?"

"I get it," he gave her a searching stare, "But it'll be good to have you back."

Raphael pulled open the window before glancing down where she now squeezed his hand, "I'll miss you too."

The words tumbled out before he could stop them, "You really do look beautiful in that dress."

He didn't wait for her reply. Instead, Raphael bolted through the opening and pelted up the escape. Practically sprinting back to the Lair, his legs were aching something fierce when he arrived, but it didn't matter how much they hurt. Raphael was already in deep, and he wasn't sure he could breathe.

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 **A/N I actually wrote this before Cherries, but didn't want to post it right away because I didn't want to rush the character development or the pace. Even now I'm wondering if the timing was right…**

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 **To my lovely reviewers:**

 **TheLadyOfSouls: I agree, dumpster fruit/veg probably happened, but that's why I chose cherries because they have such a short season and wouldn't be common even then. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

 **Guest: Awe thank-you! I am glad they are coming out so well since I haven't written much for these two in this verse.**

 **FeatherArtist: Haha I cannot deny the plot bunnies have been multiplying since the original. I suppose I should probably edit the summary considering how it's been going. Also great idea! There are some elements of April's work heating up in this update, but who knows what may happen later ;)**

 **Daklog73: Yay! Thank-you :D**


	5. Chapter 5: Let Me Save You

**A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence! I also decided to up the rating to T because of language and innuendos, just in case.**

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Let Me Save You

It had been a long week and as April reached the sewer entrance that would lead her to the turtles' Lair, she was more than ready to crash. She could feel the weariness of exhaustion threaded through her limbs, but she had promised the guys. It was Friday night, which had essentially become sacred to the turtles over the last few months as their new human friend almost religiously guaranteed her presence on said hallowed evenings. Of course she would often drop by during the week, but this week's heavy workload had limited those visits. Even worse, because of her cousin's wedding in Rhode Island last weekend, April had not managed to swing by the Lair in well over a week. She was beat, but she owed them, and frankly she had missed them just as much.

Maybe it was because of said exhaustion that she failed to pay proper attention in the dim tunnels. Maybe it was her low blood sugar. Maybe she had just been her usual clumsy self. Whatever the reason was, as April took the final bend – not even five minutes from the guys' place – she tripped.

Normally, this would not be a problem, but when one was taking their evening jaunt through fluids containing God-knows-what kind of horrors, falling was no longer a mere incident where one could spring up, dust their hands off, and pretend as though nothing had occurred. No, meeting her fingertips as she sprawled them out in front of her, was not comfortingly dry and relatively clean cement. Instead, greeting her was the sludge of a gut-lurching capacity, which of course eagerly splashed up at her upon impact.

For several seconds, April was paralyzed. Her hands were submerged leaving only her wrists exposed. Her knees and calves were immediately chilled upon meeting their liquid fate – the red-head chose to believe it was the cool _water_ that was the source of her body's rippling goosebumps. However, the sweet bliss of shock vanished almost immediately; leaving April to swear violently into the darkness, her vocabulary giving any seasoned sailor a serious schooling.

Considering the show she was giving to the dank echoing sewer walls, it was not terribly surprising that she soon found herself with a live audience. To anyone else in her particular predicament, the two looming reptilian figures would have been a terrifying sight, but not to April. Normally she would have welcomed their presence; however, April was neither scared nor pleased by the sight of Michelangelo and Raphael. Michelangelo's appearance was the salt rubbed in the proverbial wound. Raphael's was the cayenne pepper. Silently, April could not deny that at that moment she pleaded with any and all merciful omnipotent beings out there that said red-clad turtle assumed her red face was from anger and not mortifying humiliation.

To think she had even done her make-up before leaving work...

It had to be karma. This was her punishment for allowing herself the indulgence of even beginning to contemplate any such _thoughts_ towards the giant mutant turtle, but damn it! She had spent ages on her eyeliner and now it was running down her face: a mixture of black ink and slimy sewage. _No one_ deserved that!

"Wow and I thought Raph had a potty mouth," Michelangelo chirped as he stretched his arm to her, "Need a hand Angel Cakes?"

April glared up at him as she took his hand, "He's not the one sitting in raw sewage."

"Good point," the smallest turtle blithely pulled her up into a standing position while maintaining a liberal distance from her now putrid form before inspecting her for damage, "So other than the eau du toilet, you okay?"

"That's not funny Michelangelo!" April snapped.

"Awe chill dudette," he pouted, "Raph's fallen in sewage plenty of times and he still turned out fine – well sort of."

Raphael smacked his brother, "Shut it Mike!" Before addressing April for the first time, "Seriously, you okay?"

"Other than never feeling clean again?" she reddened further under his amber stare. She wondered if he thought about her kissing him as often as she had – even now. "I'll survive."

Satisfied by her answer, the larger nodded as he folded his arms before Michelangelo perked up, "So you ready to get this Friday night on?"

Appalled by remaining like this any longer than she had to, April gestured down at herself, "I have to go home Mikey. I need to shower and get rid of these clothes."

"What?!" Heedless of her sludge-covered state, Michelangelo practically attacked her hand before attempting – and admittedly succeeding – to drag her in the direction of the Lair, "No way dudette, you can do all that here. That way we don't lose our April time!"

April had of course used the turtles' washroom before, but it did not have a shower nor a bath and there was no way she was getting cleaned up in a sink! She tried wiggle out of Michelangelo's grip while attempting to convince him of his plan's logistical difficulties, "I don't want to mess up your guys' bathroom. Besides, I don't have any spare clothes here."

This statement did not deter Michelangelo in the slightest, "No worries brah, I'm sure we got some old stuff kicking around that you can wear, and trust me, both the hot tubs and the showers have seen worse. Heck, even the pool got it pretty good when we were messing around last month and Donnie got a punch to the face. There was blood everywhere! Right Raph?"

The elder gave a chuckle, "Yeah… I still owe Don for that one."

"Just give him a box of pop tarts," Michelangelo winked, "You know that's his weak spot."

The brothers smirked as April tried to dig her heels in one last time just before the Lair entrance. She turned pleading eyes in Raphael's direction, "I don't want to impose…"

Raphael gave her a searching stare before quirking an eye ridge, "'S no problem." When they stepped inside, he took her hand from Michelangelo's, "Here, I'll get her set up Mike. You want to make her something warm for after?"

"Sure thing bro!" Michelangelo gave April another wink, before leaving her to Raphael.

For a second they stood there and April was all too aware of her tiny damp hand in his large dry one. Raphael cleared his throat before grunting roughly, "Come on," April then found her hand released, leaving it oddly cold as she obediently followed his large form.

He took her in the direction of the dojo and the weight room, both of which April had been in, but she had never gone further down the corridor. At the end of the hall was a large set of heavy double doors. Raphael pushed it aside and held it open for her. April paused once she entered the dark corridor, unable to see in the darkness. She could feel Raphael brush beside her as he flicked a nearby light switch. Immediately April was glad she had stopped because as her eyes adjusted to the light she realized they were at the top of a large stone staircase. She gaped up at him, "You have a basement?"

"Not a basement if you're already below ground." Raphael gestured for her to go first, "There's a large abandoned rainwater cistern down here that Donnie converted into the pool and adjoining hot-tubs. It's also where we put the showers. Don didn't want to have to change the plumbing if he didn't have to. 'Sides, we have enough problems dealing with mould. The less water we have upstairs, the better."

After listening to his explanation, as they descended the staircase, April began to wonder what exactly was through the sandstone archway at the bottom. A pool? Hot tubs and showers – as in _more than one_? What kind of set-up did the guys have going down here? They came to the bottom and once more April waited for Raphael to hit the lights, straining her eyes into the dark abyss before her. To say she wasn't expecting what awaited her on the other side of that arch was an understatement. "Holy crap."

Raphael smirked at her wide-eyed expression, "Not too shabby for a bunch of turtles living in the sewers huh?"

"No…" April knew she was gawking like a fish, "Not too shabby at all."

It was a huge cavernous room with a vaulted dome-shaped ceiling supported by stone cylindrical pillars, which ran along either side of a large rectangular pool of water. April could tell by the water's darkness that the pool was deep. On the far side, were several tall lamps that were set up around smoothed concrete slabs, which were partially submerged due to an obvious extension upon the original cistern. "What's that?"

"Basking area." Raphael pointed accordingly, "Those are UV lamps. Helps with the whole cold-blooded reptile thing. Not like we get alotta sunlight down here."

April nodded mutely before noting the two smaller pools extending out on either side of the cistern, "And those?"

"Hot tubs one and two. Those weren't there before, and Don put in two cuz well…" He gestured to himself, "We ain't petite."

"Fair enough," April murmured.

Raphael strode towards the opposite end where two doors were tucked on either side, "Come on, let's get you to the showers." He nodded at the doors, "Don't know why we got two, but each door just leads to the same place. See?" He pulled open one door and flicked a switch showing her the second door just meters away. "Don said he couldn't stand it not being symmetrical or some shit like that. I told him as long as it works, what's the problem? But you know how Don can be."

He rolled his eyes and April gave him a grin, "Yeah I do."

This room was also large, but not nearly as much as its predecessor. In the center were five shower stalls. April noted each end had two sinks and two toilet stalls. She was definitely seeing Donatello's preference for symmetry now. Opposite the showers were a bank of worn lockers, which undoubtedly each belonged to a brother. A long wooden bench sat in the middle between the showers and the lockers. Raphael pulled open the locker second from the left and dug around a bit before tossing her a giant red towel and a facecloth. "Here." He then pulled open the shower stall on the right end, "I got soap and stuff you can use. And…" He thrust open the middle door before pulling out two bottles, "I know Sensei uses this on his fur. I don't know how good it is on human hair, but…"

He looked away as April stepped over to him and took the bottles of shampoo and conditioner from his hands, "Thanks Raph."

Rubbing the back of his head awkwardly he mumbled, "I got nothing you can wear down here, but I'll go see what I can find upstairs."

"Okay." She grinned up at him, "I'll wait for you here then."

He gave a quick nod before turning swiftly around and disappearing through the door. Although she could not hear his silent footsteps, April waited several moments once she was sure he would be upstairs, before entering the stall and stripping down after she got the water running.

April could not resist giving a loud sigh of satisfaction when she stepped under the steaming stream. It was blatantly obvious how much taller Raphael was based on where the shower head was anchored to the wall, but right now April did not care. She was just grateful that the sewer stank was running off of her skin and into the drain. Once she was thoroughly convinced that every bit of grime was gone from her body, April turned the taps off and grabbed Raphael's proffered towel that she had hung over the door.

Well, towel wasn't exactly the word she would use to describe the massive piece of cloth – it was more like a scarlet blanket. Obviously, it more than did the job. She dried her arms, legs, and torso before smoothly moving up to her face and neck where her nostrils flared at the spicy musk that engulfed her. It was definitely Raphael's towel. For a moment she just held the fabric to her face and enjoyed the scent around her.

It reminded her fondly of a few weeks ago when Raphael had hugged her when she told him about her mom. Never before had she felt so safe and warm and secure as she did within his comforting embrace. Not that Raphael was exactly the "cuddly" type especially with his constant attempted vibe of "touch-me-and-die." That moment in his arms had changed everything and now that April knew Raphael was capable of such affection, she found herself craving it.

Then he had cleaned her apartment and bought her pencils, and when he gave her _that_ utterly adorable and bashful expression, she had been completely overwhelmed by the urges she had been pushing aside for weeks. She had kissed him. Although it was hardly the hot and heavy exchange of Hollywood dramas, it had still been a whole new kind of intimate, and left her reeling even as she boarded the plane to Providence. Apparently her dopey grin had taken up permanent residence on her face, for the first chance her cousin Robyn had to catch her alone, the interrogations began. It was then that April began to appreciate what having such feelings for Raphael truly meant.

And frankly, she did not have the faintest idea on what she should do about them. It was a problem she was not equipped to deal with, and really, why would she be?

Besides the obvious fact that he was a mutant turtle – which was a doozy in and of itself – and once her childhood pet – an even bigger doozy no doubt – Raphael was her _friend_. His brothers were her _friends_ and their father was her _friend_.

They had all become close and April had slowly begun to realize that she could not bear the thought of losing them. To risk it all for feelings that she knew were strictly off limits would undoubtedly scare and hurt Raphael deeply. April could not bear doing that to any of them – especially _him_.

Yet, rather than playing it safe, April had gone and kissed the guy! Risking their current relationship, April had threatened to ruin everything by acting on some mere impulse. Well… April knew it was more than a mere impulse… So much more that it left her heart quaking and her head reeling. Somehow, she needed to get a hold of herself…

The fresh memories of Robyn's wedding did not help develop April's restraint. Seeing her cousin as well as the many couples at the reception had only made her resolve waver all the more. Robyn had also fiendishly contributed to April's strife by letting it slip that the red-head was gunning for someone back in New York. Spending the rest of the evening under her relatives' scrutiny on who the lucky man was, most definitely did not help, and it only further emphasized Raphael's inherent physical differences, which would make introducing him to her family a near impossibility – if she was dating him… Which she wasn't… And that was probably for the better… Wasn't it…?

But if it was, why could she not stop cuddling into his towel, trying to eke out every last drop of his scent as though she may never get another chance?

April shook her head rapidly, hoping to release her confusion with the drops of water. She wrapped the towel around her – not only did it go to her knees but she could also wrap it over her shoulders – and pulled open the shower door while beginning to braid her hair. Deciding to use the mirror by the sink to help her make sure it was semi-attractive, April pattered over the smooth stone floor. Her wet feet sploshed as she went and tingled from the cool surface. Seconds after she reached the mirror, the door beside her flung open and suddenly one-towel-clad April found herself face-to-face with one Raphael.

For a second they just stared at each other in shock. Then came the heat, as April felt her neck and cheeks burn with what she knew was more than mere simple embarrassment. Raphael gave several rapid blinks before gruffly thrusting a pile of clothing in her direction, "Here."

Wanting to end whatever this was that they had found themselves in that was also not helping April with her current feelings towards the turtle, she jumped forward to grab the offering. It was in her haste that she neglected to remember how easily her soft uncalloused feet could slide on such flooring. She knew the instant her feet flew out before her there was nothing she could do. April at best would meet the concrete with her butt, but more than likely it would be with her skull. Somewhere, while these panicked thoughts flitted through her mind, she could just hear Raphael's voice, "April!"

Her whole world came to an abrupt end when she suddenly found herself in two very wonderfully strong muscular arms. "You ok?" As Raphael leaned over her to inspect for damage, April's heart restarted when she felt his hard plastron pressed against her body.

Her very naked body. With only a towel separating it from his own. Which was half-naked to begin with.

This was definitely not helping.

April's cheeks, neck, and literally every part of her that could, blazed as she stuttered trying to regain control of herself, "Y-yeah t-thanks." She took a deep breath before trying again, "S-sorry, I'm such a klutz today…"

It was around this point that a not-even-remotely-subtle wave of tension swept through her saviour's body. April found she could no longer avert his gaze, and apparently, neither could he.

April was utterly trapped in those amber eyes. Vaguely she could hear the tiny drip drips her hair made as the wet strands snaked over his arm allowing water to pool on the ground below, but currently she was far more concerned with her leg brushed up against his. He wasn't warm, but she could not deny that she found his cool skin oddly comforting. As the seconds dragged on, April wasn't even sure she was breathing anymore.

And suddenly, her previous concerns no longer seemed all that important. April didn't even realize she had thrown fate to the wind when she dared to clasp her fingers on the upper edge of his plastron before raising herself ever-so-slightly so that his face was that tiny-bit-closer. Her heart jumped again as Raphael unconsciously ran his tongue over his lips. Secretly – although April would never admit it – she had wondered late at night if she would ever get the chance to really explore those lips – what they would taste like and what they would feel like if given the chance to reciprocate.

Time had stopped and all that mattered was that despite her reservations – despite everything – she was once more in Raphael's grasp and this time she wasn't competing against a metal-clad maniac or a collapsing tower or even her own delirious emotions for his attention. It was just her and him.

Until reality finally caught up to them.

She didn't know exactly what had changed, but one moment April was about to kiss Raphael – even daring to believe he himself had been closing in towards her – and the next, April found herself sitting on the shower room bench facing Raphael's carapace. For the longest second she thought he was going to say something, but the instant he clenched his fists at his sides, he was barrelling through the doorway.

Shocked, April blinked several times at the door, and surprisingly this moment of intimacy, which in every second passed threatened to be lost, brought back glimpses of a distant memory. Maybe it was from desperation or maybe it was from that impish thought borne of near-forgotten recollection but even as the door swung closed she found it in herself to call, "Why can I save you, but you can't save me?"

April knew her words made little sense, she barely understood them herself, but she did not regret their release, especially, when a green hand shoved open the door, revealing a pillar of raging emotional tumult. Fists still clenched at his sides, eyes sparked with angry amber electricity, "'The hell's that supposed to mean?"

Half-expecting he would not have returned at her cry, April delayed in responding causing him to take an ominous step forward, "I just kept your head from getting cracked open and you "saved me?""

Finding her resolve, April defiantly stood, towel tight around her frame, "There is more to saving someone, Raphael."

His frown deepened further, "What? You wanted me to let you scramble your brains on the concrete?"

"No!" She rolled her eyes, "You _know_ that's not what this is about!"

"Then what?!" He snapped, "When did you ever save me? You talking about Shredder?"

"I won't count the Shredder because we both helped with that," This time she took a step forward, "and I won't talk about saving you from the fire because that involved you, your brothers, and Master Splinter." At his look of curiosity mixed with anger she went for it, "I'm not the only one who almost got cracked open on the floor."

His quirked an eye ridge dubiously, "With my brothers yes, but not with you."

"You're forgetting about when the changes first began."

"Huh?"

April shook her head at the memory, "When you first really started showing signs of mutation. Those last few weeks – before the fire – you and your brothers started to grow. A lot. Literally, several inches every few days, but that wasn't the only thing. You started to get curious and you in particular Raphael, wanted out. As you got bigger, you started cracking terrariums by charging into the glass. At first, it wasn't a big deal because dad or one of the others would just switch you into a new one, but one day after school, when I was at the lab, it was different.

"I was doing my homework or whatever beside your tank and for most of the afternoon you had been either basking or treading around in your small pool. Then, all of a sudden, I guess you got tired of it. Back then, you were much faster in the water than outside of it, and that day you decided to swim like a bullet before taking a flying leap and smashing into the glass. This time, the tank didn't hold, and the next thing I knew, you were back in the water, which was quickly rushing to the tabletop's edge. I literally flung myself off my stool to catch you before you hit the ground. It was a long way down and even though you were bigger, I don't know if you would have survived the fall.

At the flicker of remembrance in his eyes, April was prompted to continue, "I was so upset that I almost lost you that I cried for a good half-an-hour afterwards while cradling you in my hands. Considering your near-death experience, you were awfully still during that time. It was as though you knew on some level what had happened, but I stayed with you and you stayed with me. So what's different now Raphael? Why can't we just be?"

"You cannot really expect me to explain my actions when I was a mindless fucking turtle!" He growled.

"No Raphael," April stood her ground, "But I can expect you to have some reason behind why you want to run away now."

His eyes narrowed, "I'm not running away."

"Yes you are!"

"What do you want from me?" He gestured in frustration, "It's not like I know what to do!"

"And you think I do?" She snapped back, "Did it ever occur to you that I'm just as confused as you are? Look, we can stop this all right now and pretend none it ever happened – I'll take my embarrassment and bury it in my grave – or we can just sit and talk. We don't need all the answers Raph, I just want us both to know what we're working with. We both deserve as much."

For several moments he merely stood there with a scowl on his face and his arms tightly folded. Finally he grunted, "Where are your dirty clothes?"

"Huh?"

"Remember the reason why you needed clean clothes in the first place?" He growled sarcastically, "I'll take care of 'em while you get dressed."

"Oh ok…" April went over to the shower stall where the putrid drenched articles had been balled up. Grabbing them, she turned around to find Raphael standing very close to her. So close she could feel the emotion rolling off him, "Uh… here…"

"Come out when you're done." And without further delay he left her staring once more at the swinging bathroom door.

April had no idea when everything became so complicated. Entirely unsure of what awaited her outside, if anything – for all she knew, Raphael could flee the Lair for the remainder of the evening leaving her to sort out this emotional chaos alone – April was determined to hold her head high no matter the circumstances. Defiantly, the red-head discarded the towel to pull on the overlarge shorts, hoodie, and vest. She had to squeeze her eyes shut for a second to compose herself as a fresh bubble of feeling welled from her core when she was once more engulfed in Raphael's scent as she donned his old garb, but she somehow managed to contain herself.

After redoing her unfinished braid and nodding in self-assurance at her reflection, she took a deep breath, and pushed open the door. For an agonizing moment, April thought she was alone. Raphael hadn't returned – she was on her own after all. Her heart lurched when his dry voice came from the middle of the room, "Leo's got your stuff in the wash and Mike says food'll be off in forty-five."

Slowly, she turned her gaze towards the pool. Raphael sat with his carapace facing her on the edge. She could see ripples flowing away from his calves where they rested in the water. Padding over in her bare feet, she tried to gauge his mood, "Uh thanks."

"Sure." He shrugged noncommittally.

April took another deep breath before steeling her resolve once more. Maybe it would be a gamble she would live to regret, but she prayed it was worth the risk. Mindful of her every movement, she carefully lowered herself beside him, allowing her own legs to join his in the cool water. April had to scoot closer to the edge and was once again reminded of his size: where his calves were partially submerged, all April could manage was to get her ankles covered. She purposely ensured their thighs would be in contact if he chose to widen his legs ever-so-slightly before finally placing her hands in her lap to wait and see what he would do.

Despite her current stress, April had to admit there was a kind of eerie beauty to the chamber. She hoped she could spend some of summer's hotter days down here instead of at her apartment, but April knew that rode very much on what Raphael did next. Trying to distract herself, she paddled absently in the dark water so she could watch the tiny waves ripple away into the abyss.

When Raphael sighed and allowed his thigh to brush up against hers, April felt her feet subconsciously still, "It used to drive me nuts when those lab jocks used to tap on the glass. Bad enough it was a wall that was a wall that wasn't there – didn't really get the glass thing at the time – but it used to make a fucking awful racket when they tapped on it. That day when you caught me, they'd been at it for hours – every time one of those pricks went by they rapped on it. I'd fucking had enough. I knew you were there and figured if I just got rid of the damn wall, I could go where you went when you weren't in the lab with us. I could leave that place.

"Guess it's a more clear memory because it was near the end and like you said, the mutation had already begun, but it wasn't just our bodies that were changing." He snorted, "Well obviously. Anyway, I'd never broken the glass all the way through and had no idea what would happen when it did break. I was scared shitless when I found myself in a fucking current. Didn't help I was totally disoriented from hitting my head on the glass. When you caught me I was so… So… Relieved."

He frowned thoughtfully, "You know, I think that was the first time I ever felt relief before, but what I was most pleased about was my plan had gone perfectly. I was with you and with the wall broken I could leave. I tried to be real still so you wouldn't put me back like the scientists always did when I acted out during our shots and for a while I thought it worked." He shook his head, "We both know that didn't happen. Night ended with me in a new cage with even stronger walls and you were gone again. I was alone and trapped and all I had for company were a bunch of assholes who continually pounded on the glass."

Amber eyes settled on hers, "But the glass is gone for good now and we both know," he cracked his knuckles threateningly, "If I ever run into one of those scientists that are left, I'll pound their glass and see how much they like it." His voice turned more solemn, "Still, you can always put me back and leave me alone. They got better cages now…"

"Raphael…" She trailed off, how could she possibly undo these scars from his past? It wasn't until now that April began to understand how much that laboratory had affected him and who he was now. Wrapping her hands around his, April shimmied right up against him, "Raphael, I am so sorry. I – if I had known…" She shook her head, "There's nothing I can say that can show you how much I wish I could change what happened, but I promise you, I will _never_ put you in a cage again and I will _never_ leave you alone unless you tell me to."

Despite herself, April's eyes began tear, but before she could brush them away, Raphael raised his free hand and gently cleaned them away, "Don't cry April. It's not your fault. None of it is."

"But don't you see?" She could not help but squeeze his hand urging him to understand, "You are not a pet to me Raphael. Yes, you were once, but _everything_ has changed. _You_ have changed. You're not that little box turtle with a red dot on his shell anymore. Now, to me, you will always be _Raphael_."

"April, I…" He shook his head, "I'm no good at saying these things…"

At his woeful look of frustration, April gave a tiny grin before rubbing her foot on his shin, "Then don't say."

His amber eyes flickered up to her azurite blue. His frown finally dissipating, he extracted his hand from her grasp to deftly pull her into his lap. April found her heart in her throat once more as he nuzzled into her hair, "Do you have any idea how fucking amazing you are?"

She nestled into neck and warmed at the feeling of his hard plastron against her soft breasts, "I could ask you the same thing."

He pulled away just enough for her to see him smirk, "I ain't answering questions now," before pressing his wide lips onto hers.

No longer willing to restrain herself, April returned his affections feverously. Their breath tangled as they tried to sort out how to fit his larger mouth around her tiny lips. As far as kisses go, it was hardly glamourous. It was sloppy and wet, but when they paused and April looked up into Raphael's molten amber pools, she found she did not care in the slightest. They would work out the finer details in time.

Nuzzling into her hair again, Raphael nipped April's ear before dragging himself from the water. Once he stood, with her in his arms, he lowered her back to the ground, "Come on, if we don't make an appearance soon they'll come looking for us."

They exchanged fiendish smiles inciting April to giggle, "I won't kiss and tell if you won't."

Raphael snorted, "I doubt they don't already have some idea of what's going on."

"Probably," she shrugged, "Doesn't mean we can't have fun with it."

"Mmhmm…" Raphael glanced at April as he hit the lights, "For the record, I am still better down under."

For a moment she simply gaped up at his devilish smirk. Raphael winked before sprinting up the stairs leaving April to try and scold, " _Raphael_!" But they both knew he could hear the laughter in her voice.

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 **A/N Almost 6000 words… Not part of the original plan, but as they say, "Shit happens," lol. It also was a lot tougher getting a memory from the old days weaved into this one, but I think it worked – or I hope it did. Thanks for reading!**

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 **To my lovely reviewers:**

 **Guest: Thanks :) Haha me too! Currently rocking the farm animal pencils :P Gosh, Lisa Frank is the best. I remember as a kid begging my mom to buy me their stuff… Their lunch boxes were the coolest!**

 **SetoAngel01: Thank-you :D Raph is so much fun to write when he's jealous and I seriously hope the new movie at least gives us that as well! It's not like it would be very difficult for them to do, but who knows what will happen *fingers crossed* Haha oh the plot bunnies I have…**

 **TheLadyOfSouls: Thank-you! I agree, there is no way April would still to the boring old yellow HB's.**

 **AprilO'NeilXO: Yay! I'm thrilled you are enjoying it. I too wish there was more Raphril out there, and so when I want something my solution is to try and make it happen. Thus, why I've kept this little fic going :)**

 **FeatherArtist: I know! I guess it depends on the person and how they do it? It's all in the presentation ;) Yes! Easy way to win a girl's heart right there or mine anyway lol. I def am a person who can appreciate romance in more things than just food. Heck, I'd be pretty stoked if he groomed my dog XD**


	6. Chapter 6: Subtle Roots

**A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence!**

 **I have a few words at the end about where this might be going. You don't have to read them, but they are there if you're curious.**

 **As always thanks for reading and thank-you so much for all your kind words. Especially those regarding the last chapter – I cannot begin to explain how touched I was by your words. You guys are the best! :D**

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Subtle Roots

He was hardly equipped to deal with such… Contingencies. It was supposed to be just a calm, typical evening at her place. No bros. No foes. Just him and April. A certain clusterfuck of emotions threw one hell of a wrench into that stupid plan. How could Raphael possibly relax when they continually skirted around what they both knew was clearly there?

It had only been a few days since what Raphael had mentally deemed "The Shower Incident." Since then, even just thinking about it left him more than a little off kilter. Actually, that was a lie: Raphael could not fucking believe it.

Of course before "The Shower Incident," such fantasies sometimes crept into his mind despite himself. Even with his aggressive mental walls of self-preservation, Raphael could not help such errant thoughts from occasionally breaking into his deepest and darkest dreams. However, that did not mean he had been under any previous delusions that such events could ever _actually happen_.

Yet, here he was, in the apartment of a girl who really did like him _that_ _way_. He was no Donatello, but Raphael was pretty sure some law of physics or other must have short-circuited. Even then, the fucking universe must be on one hell of a trip for allowing this crazy shit to continue.

Yes, that had to be it: the universe was broken. That was the only conceivable way it could happen. Otherwise, he wouldn't be lounging on April's sofa, he wouldn't have his arm snaked over the top of said sofa, and he certainly wouldn't have her lovely body cuddled right up to his side casually flicking through the channels searching for something to watch. Personally, Raphael didn't give a shit what they watched – he was perfectly content with the scenery right beside him.

Wait.

Did he really just think that? Holy fuck. How was he not dreaming this?

April broke him out of his silent but still terrific brain explosion to toss him the remote as she stood, "Here, maybe you'll have better luck. I'm going to use the washroom."

He grunted noncommittally as she disappeared from view. Raphael had to resist the urge to turn his head and stare at her ass as she walked off. Seriously, how in the hell did he manage to attract _her_? She did know he was a giant turtle right? _Right_?

Shaking his head in disbelief, he startled when April's phone began to ring on the coffee table, "Yo April, phone!"

April called back, her voice muffled by the door but undoubtedly irritated, "Then answer it!"

"For real?"

"It's the phone Raph! It won't bite you!"

He had his doubts about that. Nonetheless, he swept his large index finger over the screen before raising it to his face, "Yeah?"

A female's voice answered back, "Oh! I'm sorry! I'm calling for April, but I must have dialed the wrong number..."

"No this is her phone," he glared at the closed bathroom door, "April will be back in a minute."

"Oh ok…" Raphael was considering telling her to call back when the voice completely changed tones as though suddenly excited that it had not been April who answered, "I'm Robyn. Who are you?"

Not even thinking, he automatically replied, "Raphael."

Great. Now he was just inviting her to continue this stupid exchange. Maybe she would just say she would call back. That would be the normal thing to do right? Unfortunately, he wasn't so lucky, "Really?!" Her shrill tone of anticipation confirmed that, "You must be _him_!"

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Who was this Robyn girl? "Uh…"

Ignoring his obvious discomfort the girl tittered on, "The only Raphael's I know of are the angel and the artist so you must be the Raphael April mentioned last weekend!"

"Uh…"

Wait. April brought him up? To someone in the real world? Raphael immediately began to rack his brains trying to remember where April had been last weekend. Maybe then he could figure out who this Robyn girl was.

"This is great! Now I can get all the details! Ok first question: how long have you known April?"

Before mutation or after? "We met years ago then fell out of touch until last spring." Goddamnit. Why did he have to be so damn honest? "You?"

He didn't want to play twenty questions. He just wanted to know who this person was. "I'm her cousin. We practically grew up together. Height?"

"Uh…" Shit. This was _that Robyn_? April's _cousin Robyn_? As in the one who was essential her big _sister Robyn_? Now he _had_ to be nice, which meant not hanging up. He compromised by grunting, "Tall."

"How tall is that? Over six feet?"

God she was annoying. He just knew he was the tallest of his brothers and even Michelangelo was over six feet. "Over."

"What's your hair like?"

"Uh…" Hair? He didn't have any fucking hair. Hair was for mammals and a mammal he was not. If he was, he would just take a damn picture and send it to her. "None."

"Whoa. Never thought April would go for that. Me, I'm more into blondes myself. Ok eye colour."

"I don't know." How was he supposed to describe his reptilian eyes without freaking her out? Humans didn't have eyes like him. "Er… gold-ish?"

"You mean like amber?"

Sure why not, "Yeah."

"That is so cool! Most people don't have amber eyes you know." Oh he knew. He gave a pleading glance towards the bathroom. What the hell was she doing in there? "Next question: complexion?"

Silently Raphael cursed. These questions were stupid! It didn't matter what mental image she drew up from her interrogation, it wouldn't be remotely close to what he actually looked like. He snapped back, "Why does that matter?"

"Sorry I didn't mean to offend you…" Raphael felt cold at how sincerely apologetic she sounded, "I just want to get an idea of what you look like… April was totally thinking about you over the weekend and she wouldn't tell me anything. The fact I even got her to give me a name was a feat."

Ah shit… Now he really felt like an ass. April could never tell Robyn more because of what he was. Raphael rubbed the back of his neck cracking it nervously before replying, "I'm just a little self-conscious about my skin alright?"

"Oh… Like a medical condition or-"

Raphael cut her off, "Let's just say it's different ok?"

He could literally hear her deflate on the other end, "Sorry. I got a little carried away there…"

Why did she have to sound so much like April when she was upset about something? He sighed, "Trust me, I'm the dick here, not you." Looking to the ceiling for guidance, Raphael somehow mustered what little patience he had left, which was saying something considering he had next to none, "What else you wanna know?"

"Um… What do you like to do?"

"Martial arts, lift weights, hang with my bros."

"Whoa… You must be strong."

Ha, that was an understatement, "I can hold my own," he replied nonchalantly. Finally, a distant flush was heard, "April's coming now."

"Ok."

Pulling himself from the couch, he strode over to the bathroom, ready to thrust the phone at April the moment she exited, but before he could, Robyn's voice echoed up from the screen, "Hey Raphael?"

Sighing, he lifted the phone to his ear again, "Yeah?"

"Take care of her ok? She's been through a lot and she deserves someone special." It was strange hearing the solemnity in her voice abruptly revert back to its former brightness, "Otherwise I'll come to New York and kick your ass!"

"Right…" The door opened and Raphael quirked an eye ridge, "You should ask April all the reasons why that's a bad idea."

He then tossed the phone to the confused red-head, "Think I can take your cousin in a fight?"

April looked him up and down and Raphael could see her eyes skating over his jacked muscles. She lifted the phone to her ear, "Robyn please tell me you're not picking fights with strangers again." April then covered the phone to roll her eyes up at him, "Ignore her, she's said that line to every guy I come in contact with."

Raphael snorted, smirking as he walked back to the couch, but as he went to lower himself, he suddenly froze and whipped around to look at April. Unaware of his shift in behaviour, she was still laughing on the phone, but Raphael needed to confirm it now. He practically lunged himself at the bookshelf nearby and ran his fingers along the spines of April's old photo diaries. Finally he found the year he was looking for.

Pulling the navy blue book off the shelf, he raced through the pages before abruptly stopping. There they were. A young April and her cousin Robyn. With it came back a rush of memory.

Raphael was in the communal tank with his brothers. He wasn't sure why he couldn't be with them all the time. Between injections he would either be placed back with the others or be trapped in his lone isolation tank.

He hated that place. It was cold. It was lifeless. It was lonely. If he had a choice, he would never go back to it. He would stay with his brothers. Besides, he didn't know what was happening to them when they were apart.

If he had the ability, he would have realized that they were probably being subjected to similar torturous treatments, but to him, all Raphael knew was sometimes he was alone and sometimes he wasn't. Just as sometimes he was in pain when the humans handled him and sometimes he wasn't. There was no real way of knowing for sure. He had no way of predicting the events of his daily routine.

Apart from the large latex-covered gloves that often handled him, there was only one other set of hands he saw frequently. These hands never wore the white powdered gloves and always were inviting in their warmth. Sometimes they were salty, which he really liked.

Back then he didn't know what a human was and he didn't know what a girl was. Of course he didn't know that the little girl that often held him was April O'Neil. To him, she was simply something good. A person that he learned over many months he did not have to cower in his shell from for fear of what was to come. No, April always meant good things, and as Raphael advanced in his mutation, he would come to yearn for those times when she came and saved him from his solitary confinement.

As time progressed over his months spent in the lab, Raphael gradually became more and more aggressive with his handlers. He was tired of the injections, the poking, and the prodding, and he came to assume every time those hands appeared it was the start of another period of terrifying agony in which he could only pray would end the moment it started.

He learned from their loud cries and the taste of blood in his mouth that the scientists did not like it when he bit them. As he grew larger, the smell and taste changed. It was oddly metallic and sometimes he wondered what it meant.

Many years later, long after the fire when he and his brothers escaped from that place, he discovered it was a sign of the men's fear. The adrenalin released in their blood in the instinctual fear of predation – and he had been no more than eight inches long at the time. Maybe it was how fast he grew and how aggressive he became that they subconsciously began to dread what they were raising in that lonely terrarium.

Yet, as his frustration grew at his predicament, Raphael never lashed out at April. She had always been different and he trusted her. The girl had never hurt him and had never treated him with anything but kindness. She also often brought him treats and since he was always hungry – especially as the mutation accelerated – he could not help but become attached to her even if he didn't know how to describe it as such.

If Raphael had ever been outside or had any exposure to the outside world, he would have known that New York City was now well advanced into the fall. Halloween was past. With the Jack-o-lanterns long forgotten, came the crisp air which heralded the first flakes of snow not long before Thanksgiving. Of course Raphael knew of no such holidays – every day was the same in his world – but it was because of said upcoming event that April arrived one afternoon with a new face in tow. "Robyn! Wait 'til you see them! They've gotten so much bigger since I sent you my pictures!"

Their voices were slightly muffled through the glass, but Raphael still heard the strange voice following the familiar, "I don't know April. I'm not so good with slimy reptiles…"

"They're not slimy!" April huffed, and Raphael and his brothers directed their attention at the source of this loud discontent, "They're scaly!"

"Hmph." The taller red-head folded her arms, "They can be both."

"Nuh-uh," The four turtles glanced up as the metal mesh that covered their large tank rattled off, "I'll show you. Who do you want to meet first?" Sparkly green nail polished fingers pointed accordingly, "There's Donatello, Michelangelo, Leonardo, and Raphael."

Each name she said proudly as though brandishing her most treasured possession to the girl who Raphael would learn many years later was her older cousin. Robyn stood on her tiptoes to look down at the tank's inhabitants, "Whichever I can catch the easiest."

"Then just go for one."

When this slightly larger hand appeared in his air space, alarm bells went ringing in Raphael's head. The men never took him while April was here. Yet, here was this new set of hands that was coming for either him or his brothers.

This wasn't how things were supposed to go. He was supposed to be with his brothers for the night and visit with April. There wasn't supposed to be any more pain until morning. It wasn't right! Between his shock and confusion, the largest turtle glared up at those incoming fingers and despite his fear, decidedly set himself towards them.

Opening his beak, he had a clear shot and went for it, but at the last second, he was suddenly hoisted up from behind and found himself looking straight into April's blue eyes. Now he was really confused. Why had April stopped him? What was going on?

He tried squirming in his shell to get free, but her grasp was firm around his carapace and plastron. Then she spoke in a low tone to which he was not accustomed, "Raphael! You're not supposed to bite! Especially Robyn!"

The deep tremor in her voice caused his little turtle legs to still. He didn't understand. Why was April speaking so low? Why were her usually wide bright eyes narrowed? Why were the edges of her mouth curved down instead of their usual up?

Thrown off by her odd behaviour, Raphael began to reacquaint himself with the fear he had momentarily blocked. Now disoriented and scared, he withdrew into his shell silently wishing that the next time he came out, he would be back in the tank with his brothers.

Despite almost being bitten, Robyn's voice was oddly concerned, "Why did he go into his shell like that?"

April lifted Raphael higher to try and look inside, but Raphael buried his eyes into his concealing plates and would not return her gaze, "I guess he got scared."

"I didn't mean to scare him…" Robyn's tone was forlorn.

"I know he's bitten some of the people dad works with, but he's never acted like that with me." April slumped into a chair and gently placed the turtle on the tabletop.

They were silent for a moment before Robyn lowered her face onto her hands to examine the reptile more closely, "Maybe he was worried I was going to hurt his family or something. He sees you every day, but he's never met me before…" She sighed as she carefully ran a finger over Raphael's carapace, "I'm sorry little buddy. I was so busy being freaked out, I didn't think you would be too."

Inside his dark shell, Raphael shivered in terror at the touch. He couldn't see what was going on, but being prodded while in his shell usually meant he was about to get jabbed with a needle. However as the minutes drew on with only gentle petting, Raphael became slightly curious as to why they hadn't hurt him yet. This definitely wasn't right… but it wasn't necessarily bad either.

Robyn caught the slight movement within the darkness and began to coo in a soft voice, "You know it's good you want to keep you family safe. If I had a little brother or sister, I would do the same. Especially because I've always wanted one and wouldn't want to lose them after finally getting one."

"I don't have any siblings either…" April pouted nearby, before her voice suddenly brightened, "Hey, I got an idea Robyn! Why don't _you_ be my sister?"

For the first time in several minutes, Robyn looked away from her reptilian charge to her younger cousin, "But we live in different states April."

"Yeah…" The younger frowned pondering said implication before perking up again, "Well how about you're my honourary big sister then?"

"Hmm…" The elder girl considered the suggestion, "Sure, why not? Lotsa families are made up by people who aren't technically brother and sister. Why not us?"

"See, that's the spirit!"

At the sound of April's excitement, Raphael cautiously peeked out of his shell. Robyn beamed down at him, "Oh April look! He's coming out!"

April laid on her hands beside her cousin so they were both at eye level with the turtle. Seeing April smiling and so close to this new person, Raphael slowly plucked up his courage. She had the same shade of auburn hair as April and her eyes were that same startling blue. The shape of her face was different and her teeth had rows of strange silver metal on them, but overall she did look a lot like his friend. Extending his legs, Raphael's limbs stretched out of their confinement, allowing him to stand on the black linoleum countertop.

Quickly April leant down and dug around briefly in her backpack before handing a few slivers of strawberry to her cousin, "Here, give him this."

Nodding, Robyn took the proffered fruit and wiggled it near Raphael's face while whispering, "See? I won't hurt you Raphael. I'm April's sister, and any friend of April's is a friend of mine."

The sweet aroma of the berry floated into Raphael's nostrils. He only resisted for a second before stretching out his neck to snatch the first piece from Robyn's fingers. As he chewed delightedly at his snack April murmured, "Now put the next piece on your palm. That way he has to touch you for him to get it."

As soon as the next sliver was positioned, Raphael was done and was once more stretching his neck out in search of the continual source of sweet odour. Upon spying the piece resting in Robyn's pale palm, he eyed both girls warily.

He didn't like to be touched by anyone but April. Well, Robyn's stroking had been nice, but she was still no April. On the other hand, his gut was rolling uncomfortably at being deprived of more food. Torn between fear and hunger, he hesitated, which left Robyn to quietly call, "Come here, Raphael. It's ok; I understand why you did what you did. If someone ever hurt April I would come straight back to New York to kick their ass!"

"Robyn!" April giggled behind her hands at her cousin's daring word choice.

"Hey you made me your big sister! I take my role very seriously," Robyn declared back, obviously floating on the euphoric pride of now officially being placed in the role she had long desired.

Amber eyes blinked up at the stranger's voice before returning his gaze on the fruit. All he would need to do to reach the food was walk maybe one or two steps onto Robyn's palm. He could do that. Right?

He took a tiny step forward, causing April to wrap her hands excitedly around Robyn's free arm. Seeing April make this obvious contact with the new human, Raphael dared to take another step and another and another.

Finally, he was leaning over the fingers he would need to step on to reach the precious berry. He could feel his little heart pounding in his chest, but he was so close. There could be no turning back now. Besides, two strawberry pieces in one day was unheard of. He might never get another chance at so much goodness in one go.

He held his breath as he placed his little foot on the padded forefinger of the girl. Just like April, she had a comforting warmth to her. Amber eyes looked up briefly before confirming that he was good to go. Quickly, he took another step, stretched out his neck, grabbed the piece, and reversed back onto the tabletop. He was met with delighted cheers, "Good boy Raph! I knew you could do it!"

The glee in April's voice made his little turtle brain pulse in joy – the taste of strawberry didn't hurt either. Munching contentedly, he even allowed Robyn to stroke his shell a few more times. Finally, he was done, and was more than ready for a nice long snooze under the heat lamp.

Pleased it was April who scooped him up, he was returned to the tank to meet his anxious brothers who smelt the strawberries and were craving their own sweet relief. Satisfied the new human posed no threat, Raphael lounged on his basking rock while Robyn was introduced to each of his brothers. Part of him wondered if he would ever see her again someday and he hoped if he did, she would bring him more fruit.

Back in the present, Raphael was staring in shock at the torrent of memory he had just succumbed to. Over the years, he would get random fragments from those days before the fire, but never anything like this. He had completely forgotten about the girl April had brought with her that day. Robyn had never made another reappearance and what at the time had been a completely unordinary day had simply blended into the mash of colours, smells, sounds, and feelings that cohesively made a razzamatazz of blissful April-related memories. With the exception of certain recollections closest to the fire, when the mutation really began to take hold, it was next to impossible for Raphael to glean out any real useful detail or other from that time. This had to be one of the more elaborate and until now, he had not known of its existence.

But it did exist and so did this Robyn. April's cousin, who was essentially her sister, had no idea said sibling had developed feelings towards the turtle she had met that one time so long ago. Wouldn't that be an ever-loving-mind-fuck if she ever found out?

Raphael's frown at the picture deepened. What if she did find out? Now she knew his name and a few more facts that could lead her to retrieve her own recollection from that day in the lab. Robyn putting two and two together was no longer out of the realm of possibility and it could not be allowed to happen. April might be the exception – the one in a billion that would go with the whole mutant turtle thing – but Raphael could not count on her Robyn sharing her cousin's particular brand of insanity.

He turned his attention to April who was peeking between the window shades as she chatted away, completely oblivious to his strife. Once more, he returned to stare at the image of the two beaming cousins. At a loss as to how to deal with his new predicament, Raphael felt like he was that same little turtle again – full of shock and confusion. Too bad this time he couldn't hide in his shell until he was convinced everything was fine.

Lost in thought, he was startled, where he sat cross-legged on the carpet, when he felt warm hands settle on his shoulders. Off the phone, April now stood, leaning on his carapace for support as she pecked him on the cheek, "You ok? You're awfully quiet over here."

"'M fine."

He went to close the notebook's pages, when April knelt beside him to place her hand over his, "What are you looking at?"

"'S nothing."

April sighed, "Raph, don't be difficult. Let me see." Knowing he could hardly refuse her access to her own photo album, Raphael relinquished the item. After a moment April looked away from the picture, "That's Robyn and I right after I moved in with them. Why'd you want to look at such an old… photo…" April's words dragged off as she caught onto his train of thought. "Oh…"

Annoyed at her meager response to such a significant memory he grunted, ""Oh?" That's all you have to say?"

"I'd just forgotten about it and you didn't bring it up…"

Sheepishly he admitted, "I'd forgotten too. Until that "I'm gonna kick your ass" line."

April snorted, "That's Robyn for you." She leaned against his side while placing a hand on his knee, "So you remember Robyn. It's been ages since then. Heck, I still can't believe she's married now." She shook her head in disbelief at the thought before continuing, "Why are you upset?"

"I'm not upset." He huffed.

"Right…" April rolled her eyes, "How come you answer Robyn's questions honestly but not mine?"

That caught him off guard, "She told you what I told her?"

"We're basically sisters Raph." She quirked her eyebrows, "Duh, of course she did."

"Hmph." He folded his arms. This conversation was not going how he anticipated.

"So…?" April probed again.

He looked away, "So what?"

"Why are you upset?" He would have hated that sing-song edge to her voice if it wasn't so damn adorable.

"Aren't you a little concerned what will happen if she figures out who I am? What I am?"

"Oh…" He did not like how April tensed, "That…"

"What do you mean "Oh that?"" Glaring down at her, he cried in exasperation, "April! Have you even thought about what you're going to tell your family?"

"I didn't want to think about it until I figured out what we were first." she murmured.

Raphael was silent for a moment before almost whispering, "And what is that?"

"I… I don't know…" She slowly shook her head before lightly grabbing his hand. He allowed her to uncurl his arms, "But I do know I can't go back to how things were before. I told you I wouldn't leave and I meant it." April squeezed his fingers, "I… I need you by my side Raphael. I want you to stay with me."

He sighed before daring to run a knuckle down her cheek, "It's not a matter of me staying with you April. You know you're stuck with us – with me. It's… We're…"

He hated how the scales on his face seemed to light up with heat. April ran a hand down his neck to his shoulder, "Raphael, you don't have to put words to it."

"Yes I do April," He ground his teeth in frustration, "Because I don't want you dealing with your family shit alone. Especially when I'm the reason it'll be a problem."

Her body stilled, "What are you saying Raph?"

"That I…" He looked to the side for a moment to gather himself, "That I really care about you April. I mean more than just a friend but I…" Amber eyes captured blue, "I get it. I'm not like other guys… I'll never be like other guys… And even though I want to be with you, I get why you'd rather not… You know… Be committed."

"Oh Raphael…" April shimmied to kneel directly in front of him. Grasping his hands in her own she met his eyes with unfaltering determination, "Don't you get it? I don't want other guys. I don't care if you're a turtle. I told you before and I meant every word. I love you for _you_. I want you to be mine Raphael and I want to be yours."

One word from her lips could not help but tumble from his own, "L-love?"

"Yes Raphael, love." She rose higher on her knees to meet him almost at eye level, "Isn't that what this is?" Her eyes widened anxiously, "Or do you not feel the same…"

He could not remove his hands fast enough. Abruptly he was on his knees and doing everything but crushing her against his plastron. There was no way he could put his feelings at that moment into thought. How could he describe how even with her against him he felt like she was too far from him? That he ached within his very core when she was away but drowned when she was finally in his arms? That his heart hadn't beat normally in months and that his skin bloomed in constant euphoric fire every time they touched? He had no words for any of that. No, all he could do was pull her close and bury his face into her hair while speaking with every ounce of surety he possessed, "I love you too, April. More than you'll ever know."

Her voice was brimming with joy as it flowed out, "I think I have some idea."

Lowering his thighs so that they rested on his calves, putting her closer to the same height, he tilted her chin up with the curve of his finger allowing him to see her face perfectly. Gently, he lowered his lips to kiss her as tenderly and as passionately as he dared. He wanted her to remember his love, not his lust in this moment alone.

Just before their lips began to explore each other's depths and they utterly lost themselves within each other, Raphael pulled away allowing his smouldering amber eyes to wash over her, "This mean you're my girl?"

"Oh yes," April laughed as she splayed her fingers on the upper plates of his plastron, "Which means you're all mine, Raphael."

A coy smile rippled over his face, "I'll always be yours, April."

Her eyes crinkled at the edges as she grabbed the edges of his mask, "Show me."

And he happily obliged.

* * *

 **A/N For those of you who don't know, in the original Mirage series, April did have a sister and her name was Robyn. Thus, where my inspiration for this Robyn came from. Mirage did have some comics featuring her and bits of my Robyn reflect some of her traits (or that was what I was aiming for). So technically she's not a true OC, but at the same time she kind of is…**

 **I have a potential future idea which may involve her, but I'm not sure whether I'll go there or not because I'm personally not that comfortable working with OC's. On the other hand, I do like to challenge myself, and working with such a character would certainly be challenging.**

 **Obviously, the story will still revolve predominantly around April and Raphael, but I personally never liked April essentially being a loner with no close friends/family/life outside of work (if that) until she met the guys. I like her best as a strong and independent woman with an equally strong background. Having some form of family/friend support system before she met the guys, which she still maintains despite having met them, is a part of that.**

 **Thus, one of the reasons I love Mirage's originals is because they actually go into how April struggles with having a life while keeping the turtles a secret and coping with their insane lifestyle. They actually address her feelings instead of her just simply up and ditching her past. So, if I continue, there's a good chance I'll explore this side of April more and how it affects her relationship with Raphael. I just feel as though it's largely untapped territory, which is a shame because it really is some great stuff – more heavy and difficult to write, but great.**

 **Now if I can do all that while continuing to weave in memories from before Raphael's mutation… Haha you see my dilemma. Of course, the other option is for me to just stop now while I'm ahead before I risk ruining the whole thing XD**

 **Basically, I'm really struggling to decide if I should continue. Normally I'm way more decisive about my fics, which is maybe why I'm so rattled. Who knows, maybe it's the fact that this started as a one-shot? Whatever the reason though, any thoughts that you guys might have on if the above sounds worthwhile would be sincerely appreciated! I won't guarantee anything at this point, but it would definitely help me make a decision.**

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 **And now to my lovely reviewers,**

 **RBBBH: Oh goodness, three awesome reviews in a row! Do not fret, I know life exists outside of my fanfiction ;) but it's still great to have you back! *Blushes* it's always so crazy for me to hear that people think I'm a great write – I mean I always thought I was decent, but to be considered great... Well it's hard to put into words but I do know really makes me happy. Like I said, I'm not sure if this will keep going or not though… We will just have to wait and see. Thank-you so much again for coming back to read and review :D**

 **Guest: Uh… he was thinking dirty thoughts…**

 **Guest: Haha I'm glad you are growing to love them! That is what every Raphril shipper loves to hear ;) Oh yes, Alan Ritchson… I may have gawked a bit more than necessary during his sai routine. Thank-you again for reviewing!**

 **Daklog73: Oh wow! Thank-you so much! You can't see it, but every time I've read this review I've had the biggest, dopiest grin on my face. Knowing that I was able to write something good enough that someone not just makes it the whole way through, but three times is probably one of the best compliments I could receive. Lol, you and me both hun, you and me both…**

 **TheWinterMe: Yay! I'm glad you discovered them and I'm equalled pleased they always make you smile. :D Haha IKR? April has gone to the sewers a million times and not once has she ever made it through looking less than immaculate. It just isn't realistic, especially if she's running around in heels XD**

 **LaurenAdel07: Oh my goodness! Thank-you so much! Ahhhh, I go from most recent to least recent as I reply to these and each one is making me feel all the warm feels! You guys are so awesome! And then to hear that someone thinks that my writing is beautiful? *No Words!* Then to see "purely beautiful?" *Faints* Lol I'm serious, I'm so happy right now I cannot even handle it. You made my day hun (on repeated occasions)! I hope this new chapter managed to touch a few chords with you as well!**

 **FeatherArtist: IKR? I don't even know what I'd do if I found myself in April's position with a real guy never mind Raphael. One day I will make it happen! Oh and while I'm thinking of it, thank-you so much for your wonderful review to "The Robin" as well! It was a burst of inspiration that hit me one day and I'm glad it came out as well as it did. :)**

 **SetoAngel01: YAY! I'm so pumped that you loved this chapter so much! It's true, if I keep going, interesting conversations will definitely abound lol. *Blushes* Your comments always make my day hun :D**

 **TheLadyOfSouls: Thank-you! I cannot begin to explain how touched I am to hear someone not only thinks my writing is beautiful, but worth re-reading! As an author that is probably one of the best compliments I could get. It's really mind-blowing to hear someone thinks my work worth the time to re-read. I hope this next chapter met your expectations!**

 **Moonlight-Damsel: Haha – that happens to me too! Thank-you! I'm super pleased someone is enjoying having April and Raph's memories intertwined into the present. It's probably the part where I stretch my brain the most to come up with something that works in the given situation without being cheesy or over the top. So I am thrilled they are coming out the way I hoped they would :D**


	7. Chapter 7: Paperwork and Vitamin A

**A/N I do not own TMNT, but am forever grateful for their existence!**

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Paperwork and Vitamin A

Leaning over her desk, April mentally was counting down the seconds until quitting time. Days like these that were unnaturally slow meant only two things: catching up on paperwork and dealing with a bored Vernon. Heavy news days left her dead on her feet, but at least they flew by in a thrilling hum of excitement. Today was not one of those days.

By the time noon had rolled around, April was more than ready to throw her printer – which refused to work yet again – out the window. All she wanted was to go was get out of her black dress pants, change out of her blue blouse into a t-shirt, get out of her pumps, and meet up with the guys – in particular: Raphael. However, disappearing at noon on a Wednesday after destroying one's printer did not exactly scream stable employment, and so the red-head was stuck huffing at her desk contemplating other less unorthodox means of skipping off work when Vernon, her always ever-so-lovely cameraman, made his appearance. "O'Neil," he cooed spending a little too much time on the "oh" sound, "It's twelve o'clock, the day is young, and work is dead. How about you and me go by that new little bistro on fifth?"

Gnawing the inside of her cheek in annoyance she responded, "I'm trying to get caught up on paperwork Vern."

"Come on O'Neil," He leaned against her cubicle wall attempting to look far cooler than his blue jeans and white t-shirt made him appear, "It'll still be here waiting for you when you get back."

"Uh duh," She frowned, "Because I went out for lunch instead of finishing it."

"That's my point O'Neil! You don't need to finish it now. You've got all afternoon for that."

"Please Vern, just let me work." She shook her head returning to her monitor, "The sooner I get it done, the sooner I can get out of here tonight."

Thankfully he retreated at the frosty tone of her voice, "Alright, fine I'll leave you to it."

Silently pleading that her co-worker had gotten the message, April continued pounding away on her keyboard. After a few hours of steady progression through her daunting pile, she could not deny herself slowly sinking into a lull. Foolishly believing she would remain uninterrupted for the duration of the day, she even began to eagerly anticipate the excitement the evening was bound to bring.

Around three o'clock any previous tranquility she had gathered was smashed by his appearance, "How's it going O'Neil?"

"Hey Vern." However, April was too pleased with her productive afternoon to halt all slivers of cheerfulness from sliding into her voice, "Not bad. Almost finished researching the last details about that new water treatment plant they're building. If the city's rep gets back to me by tomorrow morning, we should be good to go for that interview on Friday."

"Nothing better than spending a Friday with sewage." Vernon's nose scrunched at the thought, "So that mean it was worth skipping lunch over?"

"The plant only deals with water from the river and storm drains," the redhead rolled her eyes, "No raw sewage, but yes, it looks like I can get out of here at four."

"Nice!" He perked up at her words, "We can totally beat the rush!"

"The rush?" April tilted her head in confusion, "Where are we going?"

"Come on O'Neil, you owe me after ditching me earlier."

Of course. How could she think Vernon would leave her alone for a whole afternoon? "I can't Vern. I won't have time."

She silently cringed at how much he straightened out of curiosity, "Why? You got a date or something?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." April was both tremendously relieved and pleased by this. Having actual plans meant no skirting around the truth in order to prevent potentially threatening her partnership with Vernon. As much as his constant attempts to lure her into a date incited her ire, she hesitated to throw any direct punches to his ego because she knew how much he was admired in the field. Vernon had worked with some of the best, and as much as she hated it, she needed whatever leverage she could get. Especially after Thompson only rehired her after Vernon pleaded her case, "I'm meeting Raph at his place and then we're going out."

"Wait." Vernon frowned, "Raph – as in" He lifted his hand way above his head about where Raphael's height maxed out, "that Raph?"

Still, this time she had a legitimate excuse and hopefully would for a long time to come. Not that she had pursued her interests in Raphael to deter Vernon's advances. That hadn't even been on her radar. It was just simply one of the perks of being in a relationship. Any woman could attest to that. "Yep, that's the one," She smiled cheerfully, "He's my date."

"Oh… So this is a get together…? Like a friends-going-bowling kind of thing."

"Nope." April pretended to type nonchalantly, "It's a date as in romantic moonlit strolls and all the fine print that goes along with it." She doubted Raphael would ever do anything resembling "strolling," but the image of him holding her hand under the night sky was undoubtedly appealing.

"Hold on O'Neil," Vernon couldn't hide the shock from his voice, "You mean you're actually _dating_ one of _them_?"

"Yes." April took a deep breath before spinning her chair to face him, "Raphael and I are together as of Monday."

Admittedly, she found it rather hard to believe herself, but her disbelief stemmed from different reasons than her co-worker's did. Okay, the fact he was a giant mutant turtle was still completely new to her – in a strangely alluring and attractive kind of way – but the fact that Raphael had actually taken her that very Monday night to break the news to his family felt well beyond unreal.

As expected, his family had already suspected something more intimate was growing between the two, but the whole affair had nonetheless been a nerve-wracking experience. Of the four, Donatello had been the calmest and least visibly affected. He was closely followed by Master Splinter. The rat sensei had taken both of them aside to discuss that they knew exactly what they were getting themselves into; once he was convinced they were indeed serious, he simply accepted things for what they were. Master Splinter even confessed that it brought him great joy that at least one of his sons had managed to find such a bond in a world he had long thought would always reject them from every corner.

Finally, there was Michelangelo and Leonardo. Neither really said much, but it was obvious neither seemed thrilled about this revelation. April suspected Michelangelo was nursing the wounds from the crush he had long been harbouring towards her. Leonardo on the other hand, was a different beast entirely. Frankly, she had no idea what the eldest turtle was thinking and found it more than a little odd that Leonardo could suddenly act so _coldly_ towards her. His manners had always been infallible, but Monday night he had simply left the Lair without a word. He never left without excusing himself, and April silently fretted her and Raphael's relationship had somehow insulted him. She knew Leonardo did not feel the same way towards her as Michelangelo did; however, that knowledge did little to illuminate the reason for his change in behaviour. When she asked Raphael, he simply said to wait and see what came of it. If Leonardo didn't want to stir the waters than neither should she. So April kept her silence, but secretly planned at first opportunity to confront the turtle leader.

"No freaking way…" Vernon was now looking pissed, "You cannot be serious O'Neil. You do know he's-" He lowered his voice, "a _turtle_ right?"

She appreciated him lowering his voice, despite the comment itself. However, subconsciously she was very grateful her fellow co-workers always took coffee at three and currently were not around to hear their argument. "Oh really," April rolled her eyes, "I hadn't noticed."

She tried to spin her chair back around, but was halted by his hand. Vernon was silent for a moment as he contemplated his words before asking, "But… I mean how does that even work?"

The red-head felt her skin flush, "I am not having this conversation with you Vern."

"Well someone has to! What if he gives you salmonella or something?"

A hot mixture of anger, embarrassment, and frustration coated her lips, "Oh my god Vern! He's not going to give me salmonella!"

Well to be honest, she _hadn't considered that_ , but April figured if Raphael hadn't given it to her by now, she wasn't going to get it. Mutant turtles apparently _were_ different from regular turtles. Go Fucking Figure.

Under her glare, Vernon finally cowered, if ever-so-slightly, "I just don't get _why_. A hot girl like you could have _anyone_ , yet you go for the giant green dude."

"Because looks are all one should take into account whilst picking a partner."

"But," Vernon gestured out of his own exasperation, "He's not even the same species, O'Neil."

"Look Vern, unless you can tell me something I don't already know why don't you go and bother someone else."

She blocked him from view as she attempted to spin around, but he halted her progress to pivot her back, "That's the thing O'Neil. You may know it, but you're not listening. He's A _Turtle_. Humans and turtles Do Not Mix."

April had to take several deep breathes before cooling her anger enough to respond, "I do not have to explain myself to you Vernon."

"Maybe not," She could not deny the ripple of shock she received when his eyes lost their anger to widen in concern, "But what about your family?"

Something heavy and cold settled in her gut. Leaving her confused and unsure as to what exactly it was composed of, April found her animosity returning with a vengeance, "It's not your business Vern!"

"Seriously…" She bristled at the determined set to his mouth. Was he really this dense? Why couldn't he just drop it and leave her alone? " _April_ … I'm just trying to look out for you."

"Whoever said I needed you to look out for me?" She snapped.

"Friends look out for each other, O'Neil. I don't want to see you get hurt."

Under the strain, April snorted, "Right _friend_. That's _all_ you want to be."

"Hey," Now his hackles were raised, "You're not the one who's losing to a mutant turtle!"

Her hands rose up in exasperation, "It was never a competition!"

"Exactly, because he's a turtle!"

"No, because I don't like you that way!"

Vernon blinked a few times before muttering, "Fine. Go hook up with your turtle. Who wants a girl who's into bestiality anyway?" Never before had April felt such an inferno of ire rip through her. She immediately jumped to her feet, slammed her laptop closed, and began shoving things into her backpack. At her silence he grumbled, "What are you doing?"

Freezing midway between shoving her thermos into her bag, April took a second to find her voice. Vernon didn't even seem aware of the sheer gravity of… Of _wrongness_ behind his words. She forced her body once more into motion to finish packing, before straightening up to face him. "I am leaving."

He quirked an eyebrow, "I thought you were working for another hour?"

"You don't even…" It was a mistake to look at him directly. The instant she did, a wave of molten wrath ricocheted through her core. It was a miracle she kept her voice lowered, "Do you even know what you just said!?"

Something akin to panic flitted across his brow, "Uh…"

" _Bestiality_ involves fucking animals."

"Right." He folded his arms uncomfortably, "And Raphael is a turtle."

"Yes," Her glare intensified, "But bestiality applies to animals in the sense of non-humans that are not of the same sentience or intelligence as humans. Raphael is both as sentient and as intelligent as you or I. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Erm…" Vernon balked slightly, "Yes."

"And for the record," April straightened further, "Bestiality is _illegal_ largely because it promotes animal abuse because the animal cannot consent. Now, do you really think if Raphael didn't give his consent he would let me or anyone fuck him?"

That mental picture made her cameraman tremble even more, but still he found his nerve, "Fine. He may not be an "animal" as you define it, but he's still not human!"

"We already established that! But the key is he's a _mutant_ turtle, not a regular turtle!" She shook her head, causing some of her bangs to shake lose, "You know what? Fine. I'm done. I don't have to explain myself to you or to anyone else. You aren't going to get it no matter what I say. I'm done wasting my time."

"Come on O'Neil…" Vernon reached out to grab her arm.

April wrenched it from his grasp, "Do. Not. Touch. Me."

"Stop overreacting!" He huffed looking at his hand as though it'd been burned.

"And this is why I am done talking with you." She gestured in his general direction, "You don't get it."

Then before he could make another move, April stormed away, managing to just catch the elevator before he could follow her. She was sure her fellow elevator riders could feel her rage, but at this point, there was no dissuading the tide of anger she felt at every breath. Finally, she made it to ground floor, and made her escape to the outside world.

Originally, she had planned to swing by her place after work to ditch her work stuff and grab her bike – it was far faster to bike to a nearby access point than walking through to the guy's place through New York's underbelly – but all she cared about was disappearing from sight. The crowds milling through the street were tremendously claustrophobic in her current mood, and besides, knowing Vernon, there was a chance he would appear in the Channel Six Lobby at any moment more than ready to follow her.

Consequently, she struck out in the opposite direction from the route to her apartment and at the first quiet alley with a manhole, she pulled out her emergency sneakers – for just such an occasion, alas her dress clothes would have to wait – before plunging into the sewer depths. Then, using a custom map app Donatello had developed just for her so she could find her way no matter where she was, she set out in the direction of the Lair. Without her bike it would take a good fifty minutes to an hour, but she figured the walk would probably do her some good to burn off some steam before she made her appearance at the guys' place.

About twenty minutes later, despite her temper being far from abated, she felt a whisper of fear when she swore she heard something in the distant sewer tunnels ahead. It was hard to see anything with just the meager maintenance lighting, which left her straining her ears to determine whether or not her imagination was playing tricks on her. After a moment of silence, berating herself for probably hearing nothing more than a rat, she took a step away from the wall's dark refuge. An instant later, she found herself swept up and whisked forward. "Hey Angel Cakes!"

Her heart needing a few seconds to restart, but that was fine considering her brain still hadn't fully processed its current situation. All she knew was that she was flying down the tunnel at an insane speed in the grasp of someone very strong. Finally, the voice paired with a glance upward at her captor allowed her to greet, albeit somewhat weakly, "Hi Mikey."

As the turtle whipped around a bend, on his jet-powered skateboard making her grasp his plastron tightly, he chittered oblivious to her discomfort, "What are you doing down here so early? I thought you weren't coming by until six?"

"I uh…" Sheepishly she admitted, "Needed to get out of that place."

His smile tactfully turned into a look of concern, "Bad day at the office?"

She turned away from his blue eyes "You could say that."

"So you wanted to get your turtle fix," He gave her a gentle squeeze where she sat in bridal position, "Nice choice brah. If the guys and I know one thing, it's how to have a good time. We'll make sure you're back to your old self in no time. Plus, now that I'm here, we'll get you there pronto!"

April was pleased by Michelangelo's offer, but Vernon's words were still fresh. A certain conversation made her yearn for a little more time to unwind, especially before she saw Raphael. She was pissed at Vernon, but if she wanted her cameraman to live to see another day, she could not afford to make any slips about what said idiot had said earlier. "Actually Mikey, would you mind if we walked?"

"No problem!" Instantly, Michelangelo was off his board and lowering April gently to the ground. He tilted his head at her furrowed expression, "Do you want some alone time?" He looked up at the ceiling in a surprising show of discomfort, "I could get Raph…"

Seeing the glimpse of Michelangelo's own flicker of sorrow, April touched his arm, "No. I would love it if you stayed, Mikey."

He gave her a grin before strapping his board to his shell, "So what's up chica?"

They began walking, "Just cameraman troubles, don't worry it's nothing to be concerned about."

"Really?" He raised a knowing eye ridge, "You sound pretty concerned about it."

"I shouldn't be though," April rubbed her arm self-consciously, "I should be used to Vern being an idiot."

"Shoulda, woulda, coulda." The turtle hummed softly.

"Right," she playfully smacked his arm, "I got it."

Michelangelo gave her an impish grin in return, "So what'd he do this time?"

 _Bestiality_. That ugly word kept puncturing into the forefront of her mind, "Something that shouldn't be spoken of in polite company."

She literally walked straight into his plastron; he had spun in front of her so fast, "Did he hurt you?"

"What?" April shook her head, "Nothing like that!"

Inspecting her carefully for a moment, Michelangelo did not resume his pace beside her until he was convinced she was indeed fine. "Okay I don't need to beat him up, good."

That got her to giggle, "I thought beating up people was Raph's department?"

"Oh once he got word he'd be there," Michelangelo laughed back, "But it seems wrong to hit a corpse."

"Ahh, so you'd just say a few choice words?"

"Yep. Then Raph can do his thing. Well and depending on the offense Don and Leo might want a go."

"My own team of elite ninja bodyguards," April smirked, "What more could a girl want?"

"Who needs diamonds when you've got us?" He winked.

"Turtles are a girl's best friend?"

"Read my mind dudette."

They both chuckled into the darkness at that, until their laughter's echoes morphed into eerie memories. "Seriously though, what did he do?"

April sighed, "It's… Complicated."

"Ah yes, the universal term for I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it-but-I-probably-should."

"Should, would, coulda."

Michelangelo smirked down at her, "Oh someone's witty."

"Witty and pretty and gay." She sang back.

"Very nice Maria," his eyes crinkled cheerfully, "But I think you're in the wrong story."

"True, I can't see the guys breaking out sporadically into song."

"Oh you'd be surprised." He folded his arms reminiscently over his head, "We have quite a musical background." They had come to a sewer junction where Michelangelo led her to several exposed pipes that were relatively clean enough to sit on, "Now do I have to go all Dr. Phil on you or are you going to tell me what's worrying that pretty little head of yours?"

Taking the hint, April slid back on the pipe, "Let's just say Vern didn't appreciate hearing about Raph and I."

Michelangelo lowered himself beside her, "You told him you're together?"

"Yep."

"Ah…" Michelangelo frowned, "It's the whole turtle thing. Isn't it?"

"Yes…"

"Well, not that I'm taking his side or anything, but it would be kind of tough. You know to be into this girl for a while… and then that of all people, she hooks up with _Raph_..."

Hearing Michelangelo's sentence become quieter near the end, caused April to look up in concern at the turtle beside her, "Mikey…"

He purposely returned to staring at the ceiling while kicking his legs back and forth under the pipe, "I mean jealousy is a thing. Paired with rejection and a giant super muscular cool guy like Raph, and well… You know…"

April hated the hurt expression on his face as he adamantly continued to look up, "I'm sorry Mikey."

She really truly was. She did love Michelangelo, just not in the romantic sense. With the exception of Raphael, she viewed all the turtles akin to brothers. She fiercely loved them with all her heart and would do anything to protect them, but only Raphael could open her heart fully.

"Why are you sorry? Vern's the one who should apologize by the sounds of it. Not that he's done it before, but hey maybe this time he'll turn a new leaf."

"I wasn't apologizing to Vern." She put her hands on his, "I was apologizing to you Mikey. I know I hurt you and I'm sorry for it."

Finally he looked down to meet her gaze, "You didn't hurt me April. Well I mean it hurt that you didn't return my feelings, but I wasn't really too surprised by it. My bros think I've always got my head in the clouds, but I'm not an idiot. I knew that it probably was never going to happen, but it doesn't hurt to dream right? It would have still sucked if you hooked up with say Vern – don't look at me like that! Fine, if you hooked up with Brad Pitt it would suck, but I'd be cool with it. After all he's a human; you're a human-"

"We have so much in common!" She interjected sarcastically.

Michelangelo briefly smirked, "I know right?! A perfect match!" His face sobered, "I guess what bugs me is the fact that you did look beyond the whole green and shell thing, but instead of me, you fell for Raph." He rubbed his head anxiously, "Shell, this sounds stupid and immature, but he _knew_ I liked you too!"

"But it takes two Mikey, and I like Raph as much as he likes me."

"I know, I know…" He sighed, "I just feel a bit sore about it. I don't mean to, but I do. I mean… He didn't even bother to talk to me! Not that he needed permission or anything, but he used to share stuff with me all the time. We could talk for ages! Now we barely talk about anything… Or that's what it seems like. Oh geez, if he heard me now he's probably think I was being a big baby."

"Mikey, Raph has always cared deeply for you." She smiled slightly at the memory, "Heck, even when you were babies he had your back."

"No offense dudette," Michelangelo looked dubious, "But we were four brainless turtles. How much could he have possibly cared?"

"You weren't totally brainless Mikey, especially as you started to mutate."

"How do you know?"

She raised her brows in question, "Well for starters I spent almost every day at that lab with you guys."

"You did?"

"Wait." April frowned, "Don't you remember _anything_?"

"No duh," he rolled his eyes, "To reiterate, I was a brainless turtle. That means no memories."

Then she remembered that conversation months ago where Raphael had told her only he and Leonardo had such memories. On the other hand, Donatello and Michelangelo remembered nothing. "So Raphael and Leonardo never told you stories?"

"About what?"

"From those days!" She shook her head, "I don't know how much Leo remembers because I've never talked to him about it, but I know Raph remembers some things."

"No way!" Michelangelo enthusiastically grabbed her shoulders, "He does?!"

"Yes. He does." She tapped her chin thoughtfully, "You know what? I'm going to tell you one of the stories we talked about and you can go ask him about it yourself."

Now Michelangelo was practically trying to sit on her, "You will?"

"Yes, but on one condition."

"Anything Angel Cakes!"

"You can only ask him about the story after you tell him what you told me just now."

"Raph doesn't want to hear about my stupid feelings April."

"Oh I bet he does," Her eyes were penetrating, "If you open up to him and show him how seriously this has affected you, chances are he'll listen."

"But it's not that I don't want him and you together! I'm really happy for both of you. I want Raph to stay with you if it makes him happy. It just… Sucks…"

"Then tell him that Mikey. Tell him all that. If you're honest and upfront about it all, he'll understand. You know he will."

"Yeah… Maybe…" He shrugged, "I'll at least give it a shot for you Angel Cakes."

"Good, then I'll tell you about the time you didn't get enough vitamin A."

"Vitamin A? Isn't that the stuff in carrots?"

"Yes and I guess technically all four of you were deficient in it."

"Um ok… How'd that happen?"

"Well you see, up until your arrival, dad's lab had only ever worked with mice and rats. You four were the first reptiles to ever enter the building and although all the right equipment and such was purchased, initially the researchers all assumed your basic box turtle food would be enough to keep you healthy. After about a month or so into the injections, it became evident that something was wrong. All four of you eventually began to show symptoms, but initially you were the first who became ill.

"It happened overnight. One evening you were fine, and the next both of your eyelids had become so swollen that you couldn't see a thing. Of course a vet was called in, he said you had an infection in both of your eyes. He prescribed antibiotics that were supposed to start working in a few days, but by the end of the week, nothing had changed. Even worse, your brothers started to have strange buildup of dead skin in random spots like in their nares." She pointed to her nostrils accordingly, "The vet was called in again, and this time he examined your turtle food. The diet had no vitamin A in it and apparently without supplementation of said vitamin, your skin was beginning to growth abnormally causing cellular debris to accumulate. So we modified your diet and gave you another round of antibiotics. Thankfully, it worked and within a few weeks all four of you were as good as new."

Michelangelo was leaning his chin into his hand, "And how does this show Raph cares about me?"

"I'm getting to that!" April huffed, "Anyway during the weeks your eyes were swollen shut, you were kind of helpless Mikey. We were worried that without constant human intervention you would starve just because you couldn't find your food or become dehydrated because you couldn't find the water. Obviously, you didn't, but the reason for it wasn't us. It was Raphael.

"From the first day you became sick, he had your back. I remember watching him guide you around the tank to the food and the water. He would even take you to the basking area, and as the infection progressed, when you became too tired to travel, he even began to drag food pellets to where you rested. Often I even saw him sitting next to you while you slept. So even with barely any mutagen in his system, Raph was caring for you, and if the same thing happened to you now, I know he'd be right there beside you again."

"Wow…" Michelangelo looked down at his still swinging feet, "I had no idea…"

"Trust me Mikey, he cares." April placed her hand on his, "You ready to go back?"

"Yeah." The turtle jumped down to give her a hand, but was oddly subdued.

The strange quiet continued for the remainder of the journey. April knew they were both thinking of Raphael in one way or another. When they finally entered the Lair, Donatello and Raphael greeted them from the kitchen. Raphael walked around the island to hug April, but was abruptly intercepted as a whirl of green and orange collided with a loud thwack against the larger turtle's plastron. Clearly shocked and uncomfortable by the sudden display of affection, Raphael tried to pry the younger off, "'The hell Mikey?"

Michelangelo was not deterred by his brother's gruffness in the slightest, "Thanks Raph!"

"Uh…" Raphael looked helplessly at April, "You're welcome?"

April gave Raphael a quick peck on the check before pushing on his carapace, "I think you and Mikey need to take a walk, Raphael."

"Uh…" Obviously quite confused by the entire situation he had found himself in, Raphael allowed April to nudge him into motion while still under his octopus-of-a-brother's grasp, "Okay…"

After the two brothers disappeared into the tunnels, Donatello looked at April expectantly, "What was that about?"

April smirked as she poured herself a glass of water, "Did I ever tell you about the time you guys didn't get enough vitamin A?"

"Hypovitaminosis A?" He leaned forward, further showing his perplexed expression, "What does a beta carotene deficiency have to do with anything?"

She sighed into her hands with a smile, "It's complicated."

* * *

 **It took me forever, but I finally did it! Beginning with this chapter, I once more have some direction on where to take this. So the show will go on! Thank-you for all your love and support everyone! Admittedly, I was fairly sure I wanted to explore this 'verse further, but I wasn't sure how to go about it. However, knowing that you guys were rooting for me definitely helped me stay determined to work out the knots, and so I remain grateful to you!**

 **Also, if you guys haven't checked it out yet, I have been even more blessed with the gift of some more fan art from the wonderful and amazingly talented Setoangel01! Seriously, you need to stop reading my ramblings and get over to her blog now! If I had tumblr I would reblog/share/whatever is you do to promote her because she is that awesome!**

* * *

 **And now to my ever lovely reviewers,**

 **Guest: Thank-you! I am glad you enjoyed it! Haha, I literally just went and rewatched that clip. So I have to admit it didn't inspire me previous, but I can still see what you mean. I'm not sure why Leo looked at Raph like that – maybe to signal just that they needed to get a move on? Either way, it's a great coincidence and def could be a headcanon ;)**

 **Larka13: Yay! Thank-you thank-you so much! As long as I can come up with decent ideas, I will try to continue :)**

 **Nami Swannn: I know! They make such a good couple. Yeah, Casey and April I think will be eternally bound, but I'd be ok with some jealous Raph – that's never a bad thing in my books. Thank-you so much for reading and reviewing!**

 **RBBBH: XD Ahh puns… Anyway, I am glad you think so! Methinks if I keep going on the current arc I have now set myself on, it could turn into a longer fic for sure. So ideally if it's a beastie it's a well-written one lol. Also, thank-you so much! Seriously, faithful reviewers like you make my day too! I blush way too much when I read them, but each and every one means so much to me. So thank-you thank-you thank-you!**

 **Guest (Lisafrank1234576): Ahhh yes Leo… As I foreshadowed above, he is nowhere near off my radar. Haha ouch don't let the Apritello fans hear you say that ;) (although I too kind of feel the same but I'm admittedly biased - Raphril ftw) Thank-you so much for reviewing! I am so glad to have won your love!**

 **SetoAngel01: Haha yes! Success! Sometimes it's hard to know if I'm actually writing something funny. When was writing this I was laughing and smiling like an idiot, but I wasn't sure if it was just me. This is why I'm not a comedian. I could not handle the strain of knowing if I was laughing just because I'm a weirdo or if what I said was actually funny XD It's true, as I continue you on I will def have to go into uncharted and unexplored waters just because there is so little to go off of in canon (although I will glean bits and pieces where I can from different parts of the franchise). As for Robyn? Who knows… ;) Thank-you so much again (because I haven't said it enough :p) for reviewing and reading and for the AMAZING FANART! You are kind of my hero, just saying.**

 **BiteMeBro522: Oh my gosh – thank-you so much! I cannot deny that I spend the most time on the memories in each chapter. Much of the time the chapter is fully written except for the memory part. That's where I get stuck picking my brain for days trying to find something good. Admittedly, some of them come from my own experience (this one for instance actually happened with my gerbils when I was a kid. One of them got sick and the other did exactly what Raph did for Mikey. I figure if a gerbil can do it, so can a turtle), but not all. Avoiding the cheese is always a part of the battle too. Still, I am tremendously grateful for your kind words and I hope I can continue to do this fic justice!**

 **Guest: Haha your wish is happening! Thank-you for reading and reviewing!**

 **TheLadyOfSouls: Wow! Thank-you! I feel so honoured to make it onto someone's favourite's list! That is just… I can't even put words to how awesome it feels :D Oh geez I know, I hate the "l" word just for that very reason and try to avoid it as much as I can in fics, but there are times when it has to happen and I try to be meticulous in presenting it uniquely. So, I am thrilled that I pulled it off! Yes! Also, I feel the same way. I've only really eked out Mrs. Morrison so far (in another fic), but for a long time I've had my eye on Robyn. Hopefully I can continue to bring you all quality work. :)**

 **LaurenAdel07: Hah! I was so sneaky! Bet you didn't think when I messaged you I'd have this new chapter up so soon! ;) Thank-you! Awe you are so sweet; you know that? As you know I'll a little busy with other things very soon (5 weeks on Monday :O), and admittedly I've never even thought about screenwriting as a career, but writing a script for a turtles movie would be pretty fun. A little terrifying, but still super awesome!**

 **TheWinterMe: Haha, I thought the same thing when I came up with the "snapping" turtle idea, but really could Raphael be any other? I have to admit, I did really struggle with whether or not I should continue (part of the reason for my delay). It kind of felt complete, you know? That said, I have kind of fallen in love with this 'verse and didn't want to see it end. I'm also a sucker for a challenge, and so here's to me giving it my best shot!**

 **Sunny Lighter: Yes, that's right! I think I first became aware of her watching 2k3, but I def owe credit to Mirage for motivating me to write her in now. Thank-you so much for continuing to read and review!**

 **Daklog73: Well you got your wish; hopefully, it came out good – fingers crossed. Ahh yes… the families… Well the turtles obvs had to be addressed (I couldn't put it off any longer); as to April…? All I can say is I do have a fondness for Robyn ;) Thank-you so much for continuing to read and review!**

 **Moonlight-Damsel: Thank-you! Wait… *Goes and creeps ff page then internet… *A little while later*… OMG… THIS is why I should get out of my hole every once and a while: YOU'RE AMGEHRON?! AHHHHHHHH! Okay, okay, I'm good now. I LOVED Shattered and your Pet story is sooo cute! Seriously, I am so honoured that you like my stuff! Really. Truly flattered. You said I helped you get writing again, but writers like you inspire me to write! It goes both ways and it's the best feeling in the world. Oh man… I am so sorry… I am way too excited right now, but it's like a celebrity just said I'm cool. Yep. Now excuse me while I go through the rest of my day with the biggest most dopey grin on my face ever ;D**


	8. Chapter 8: Below the Surface

**A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence!**

 **Holy shoopuf! This chapter is such a beast, but it just didn't feel right splitting it… Hopefully the flow is still okay and it all makes sense.**

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Below the Surface

Stroke left. Stroke right. Stroke left. Stroke right. Stroke left. Stroke right.

Damn Leonardo. What the hell was his problem anyway? He'd had his control freak on for weeks now, and Raphael had no patience for it. It was no secret that the two eldest turtles had a tendency to butt heads – their headstrong personalities deserved no less – but lately they seemed to be constantly at each other's throats. Especially when it came to April.

Fucking. Stroke left. Damn. Stroke right. Leonardo.

Raphael didn't know why, but he knew his big brother's new shift up the jackass meter directly corresponded to when the new couple had finally broken the news of their budding relationship to the mutant family. He was pretty sure Leonardo's behaviour was not rooted in jealousy.

Admittedly, the thought had crossed his mind. However Raphael had never seen his elder brother even glance at April that way, and – _mighty ninja_ that he was – even Leonardo was not immune to such thoughts. Hell, when they were younger and first entering the wonderful world of wanking, the two eldest had spent many a conversation discussing their ideal bedmate. It was inevitable that he came to learn of that lustful look Leonardo's blue eyes were capable of holding.

Yes, Raphael knew his brother well, and he was _adamant_ Leonardo's behaviour did not stem from hidden unrequited love. Besides, even Donatello and Michelangelo had noticed their leader's change and worse, had experienced it first-hand when it was directed at them. No, jealousy was not the issue, but fuck it if Raphael couldn't for the life of him figure out what Leonardo's damn problem was. With no answers paired with his infamous temper, Raphael found himself starting to unleash his frustration with his brother more and more as the weeks passed, and each time the conflicts had become more aggressive.

Stroke left. Stroke right. Touch wall. Flip round. Spring off. Stroke left. Stroke right.

That was why he was doing laps in the pool now. He was desperate to cool off. Sure, Raphael turned to his weights, his bag, and criminal slime often enough, but the pool's water doused his fury like none of those things could. The potent mix of all-encompassing coolness, physical exertion, and the mental stillness derived from oxygen shunting to his muscles, gave him a release like no other and frankly, part of him had to admit that he enjoyed indulging in his terrapin instincts from time to time. The water was his real first love.

Many of his earliest memories from his days in the laboratory revolved around simply being submerged. The cool liquid rushing against his scales. The subtle bubbles sneaking through his toes as he paddled. The distortion of the world's sounds. Water blanketed him in a new sense of being that he could never achieve on land. Even now, although he spent the majority of his time out of water, Raphael could only stay out for so long.

Admittedly, despite the sheer shittiness of having Shredder torch their old place, Raphael had come to be grateful for their relocation simply because of the hidden gem that was the large rainwater cistern. It had been a lot of work. Between moving boulders of cement, drilling, and plumbing all the turtles were left with their fair share of blisters and aches, but their massive construction project had been damn well worth it. Feeling the fresh water ripple past his skin now was confirmation of that.

Still, even in his aquatic sanctuary, it did not change the fact that Leonardo seriously needed to stop being such a complete and total dick-wad. Not that Raphael was an angel himself, but at least he knew he was an ass. Leonardo simply pretended he was above such transgressions. It was damn irritating as hell.

Stroke left. Stroke right. Stroke left. Stroke right.

With the constant buzzing of such thoughts, Raphael began to swim faster in an effort to banish the anger from his limbs. If nothing else, with any luck the lactic acid would at least temporarily block out any ire from his vision. If only it were that easy.

In a sudden rush of overwhelming need, he dove deep below the surface. As he swam closer and closer towards the bottom, the light from above slowly began to dwindle into nothing but the slimmest rays of eerie luminescence – a far cry from what they were in the world above. Once he reached the floor, he simply allowed himself to float at the bottom. Watching the rolling waves of light far off in the distance, it was not hard to enjoy the silence. Even the pressure that cocooned his body there in the cistern's depths gave him comfort. He and his brothers did not retain the same air capacity of normal turtles, but they were still far superior to humans. Michelangelo held the record – his brain had always been full of air – but all the brothers could easily hold their breath for over fifteen minutes.

After a good ten minutes, Raphael pushed off from the bottom to break through the surface. Taking in a large breath of sweet smooth oxygen, he immediately became acutely aware of his audience. Sitting with her legs crossed near the edge, was April.

Shit, was it five already?

He couldn't deny he was thrilled to see her. In fact all his siblings – with the exception of one jackass turtle who would remain unnamed – were excited. Wanting to take advantage of the warm weather, April's landlord had asked if she could stay at a friend's place for a few days so he could give it some well overdue TLC including a new paint job. Upon hearing her predicament, the turtles had instantly offered their place to her. For the next two days, she was all theirs, and more importantly, his.

Wanting to at least attempt to make a good impression, Raphael had intended to be out and showered long before April made her appearance. Apparently that plan had gone to pot. Damn turtle luck.

Not that he needed to impress her. What did he care? She and him were already a thing. Besides, how much could a mutant turtle fix with mere soap and water? He would still remain a great beast of a reptile just as she would always be a beauty of a woman. Yet, when April beamed in his direction he felt a warm surge of reassurance that this gorgeous red-head really did want nothing more than to see him.

Would he ever fucking believe it? Maybe? Naw. Probably not. Especially when she flashed those twin cerulean gems in his direction.

"'Sup?" He lazily called to the shore.

"Hi, I hope you don't mind me coming down here; Mikey said you were cooling off."

Huh. That was one way of putting it – oddly tactful on Michelangelo's part. Just went to show that while Raphael and his youngest brother's relationship seemed to be getting back on track, Leonardo and his was simultaneously crashing to earth complete with a spectacular fiery collision in the imminent future. He treaded over to where she sat, hoisting his forearms so they could fold onto the edge while keeping the rest of himself submerged, "'Course I don't mind." He let the corner of his mouth quirk up, "Want to join me? Water's real nice."

For a moment, April gave the slightest expression of what Raphael could only describe his discomfort. Suddenly, he found himself oddly self-conscious of his bare face. His eyes flickered over to a nearby heap by the basking area. There lay his sai, his mask, as well as his remaining clothing. However just as he rubbed his green hand over his leathery scalp, April shook her head, "No, that's okay. I have nothing to swim in anyway."

Raphael could not help but quirk his eye ridges at that. The redhead was clad appropriately for the heat wave they had been recently experiencing in New York. Her black shorts and baby blue tank would hardly suffer from a little extra moisture. "Somehow, I think your wardrobe can handle it."

Besides, she would have brought an overnight bag. Speaking of which, she knew they had a pool and yet she came to stay for several days and didn't bring a swim suit? What was up with that? April, looking far from convinced, merely inched back a little bit further on the stone floor, "No really, I'm fine..."

A sudden burst of inspiration struck Raphael as she continued, "I'm not the best in the water..." Leaving him oblivious to his girlfriend's distress as he brandished a mischievous smirk in her direction, "Come on O'Neil… Trust me, you'll have fun."

"No! Please Raph, I don't want to!" But the large mutant turtle was already on her. In a rapid series of movements he had her by the knees and was dragging her towards him causing her to whine in a surprisingly high-pitched tone, " _Raphael_!"

However, April's cry fell on deaf ears; for at that moment, Raphael shifted his damp hands to her lower back so that he could easily sweep her into the water. With a large splash, the redhead plummeted beneath the surface. After several seconds of her not coming up, Raphael frowned in her direction, "April?"

In his concern, he followed her beneath the surface to find her madly thrashing. In his shock at her wild behaviour, Raphael swam towards her. April was clearly in a panic. He easily pushed her to the surface allowing her to gasp for breath, but when he tried to still her frenzied limbs, Raphael was met by an elbow to the face. "Fuck!"

Cradling his now bloodied beak, Raphael spat through water and blood, "April, calm down!"

However, she was obviously beyond listening to him as long as she was in such a frantic state of mind. Out of desperation, Raphael abandoned his bleeding orifice so that he could wrap his large muscular arms around her. He held her as tightly as he dared without crushing her against his plastron. Thankfully, with her trapped against his powerful form, she had no choice but to restrict her movements to violent tremors.

Determined to keep her in his grasp, Raphael only dared to release one arm when he reached the pool's edge. Gritting his teeth against the combined weight of him and April, he managed to hoist them both out of the pool. In the moments that followed, April continued to quiver under his caress and despite the film of blood now coating his lips he managed to calmly murmur, "April… Hey… Hey it's okay. Everything's alright... Just relax. You're fine."

Between once more being out of the water and his remarkably gentle tone, the girl stilled within his arms. Unfortunately, it was short lived; abruptly, April began to unabashedly bawl on his chest. Strings of unintelligible words flowed from her mouth leaving Raphael at a complete loss as to what was going on. Using one hand to try and stanch his bloodied nose and the other to rub soothing circles on her back, he tried again, "April calm down. It's nothing to cry over. Heh, if anything, I should be the one who's upset."

Laughing at himself, Raphael found the slight smirk on his face utterly disintegrate as April's eyes pierced him with blue steel, "How can you possibly find this funny?"

"Uh…" Suddenly his scarlet face no longer seemed remotely important, "It's… Not?"

"No. It's not."

Thoroughly rattled by both her undoubtedly murderous disposition and his lingering animosity towards Leonardo, Raphael found himself bristling back at her, "You don't need to get all pissy. I was just joking around."

"And if you had been paying any attention at all, you would have known I did not want to go in the water." April did not hesitate to amplify her glower, "I don't know how to swim."

"Hold on," Raphael looked at her flabbergasted, "You don't know how to swim?"

She sliced in retort, "No, I don't."

"No way." The turtle just couldn't believe it. How could his girlfriend not know how to swim? How had he managed to miss such an important detail? Was he a fucking idiot?

Apparently.

Only an idiot who was so tied to the water as he was would miss such thing. "Shit April, I'm sorry. Seriously, I'm such an idiot. I didn't know," He rubbed the back of his head, "I mean… I should have known but I didn't..."

"No…" At his words the anger fled April's eyes, "No, you're not. I… I didn't tell anyone. Well, I guess Robyn knows, but she was there when I almost drowned so…"

"What?!" Raphael stiffened harshly, "You almost drowned?! When?!"

"Yeah…" April averted her eyes from his amber gaze, "It happened after I moved to Rhode Island. After… After the fire."

Sensing the tendril of fear that swept through the woman in his arms, Raphael tightened his hold ever so slightly while brushing his knuckle on her cheek turning her to look up at him, "What happened?"

However, when April looked up at his face, her eyes widened in shock, "Oh My God Raph! We need to get your face cleaned up!"

"Huh?" Raphael pulled his bloodied right hand from his nose, "Oh yeah… Don't worry it's not a big deal. Pretty sure it's not bleeding anymore."

Brow furrowing at his attempt to brush off his smashed face, April managed to wiggle her way out of his arms, "Come on Raph! I'm not making you sit here with blood all over your face. Especially when I'm the one that did it."

Shaking his head, the turtle looked up from where he sat at his scowling girlfriend, "Fine. You win." At her proffered hand, Raphael chuckled as he took it but was sure not to put any of his weight on it as he stood, "I'd hate to meet the bad end of your elbow again."

"Haha. Very funny." April rolled her eyes up at the turtle who now towered over her, "Just think of it as karma for throwing me into the pool like that."

Together they strode over to the bathroom which held the showers as well as the brothers' lockers. Upon entering the room, Raphael proceeded to his locker where he flung open the door and began rifling around until he pulled out a clean red washcloth. He then met April at one of the sinks, "Here," she offered a pale hand out to him, "Let me do it."

His bloodied face hid his rising blush as he chuffed, "Don't worry, I got it."

"Raphael please, just let me do it."

Once more he found himself completely at April's mercy. Before meeting her several months ago, he would've guffawed at the very idea of some little girl ordering him around; April had changed everything. Obediently, he gave her the cloth before plopping himself on the wooden bench so she could easily reach his face. She ran the cloth under the tap for several seconds before walking over to him. Carefully she began wiping his lips, "Let me know if anything hurts."

Raphael practically had to keep himself from shucking right there on the spot. Hell, his beak wasn't even broken, and yet she was wiping his scales so softly and tenderly. It left him adjusting his legs ever so slightly for his tail's sake; there was no way he was telling her to stop. "How about you distract me by telling me what happened?"

April sighed in resignation, "Well, not all of us born for the water. I know it'll sound crazy to you, but I never really had been in water before I moved to Rhode Island. It was my first summer there, and I was super excited to go to the beach with Robyn. The last six months had been pretty bleak for me. It was thrilling to finally think my life could have some adventure and… Some _meaning_ again. With the summer months and their promise of sunshine, I felt like I had at last been given some sense of purpose.

"It was one of the first days of July. School was out and my aunt and uncle finally had some vacation time. We packed our gear one morning and took off to the coast. It was probably what would be considered a "typical family outing," but to me, as I sat in that car watching the landscape roll by, I almost felt at peace. For the first time in months, I even dared to believe that things were normal again and that everything really was going to be okay."

April gave a tiny laugh, "I have to admit I even thought of you and your brothers and how excited I was to finally do what you guys apparently lived for – swimming. Huh. It's so simple but how often do we take such things for granted?"

Shaking her head, Raphael remained silent as she continued, "That morning we got to the beach and everything… _Everything was fine_. The first couple of hours I spent with Robyn in the shallows chasing each other around; just acting like goofballs. It wasn't until the afternoon that the weather started to change, and I learned how fast the ocean can turn.

"They're called riptides…" Raphael could feel her hand tremble as she held the cloth to his skin, "They're these powerful undercurrents that can appear without warning." Frightened eyes met his, "I was caught in one of those currents. One moment I was within easy swimming distance of the beach; the next I was hopelessly far away from everyone and everything.

"Robyn kept calling for me to swim back, but I… But I couldn't! I could barely tread water! With that terrifying drag pulling me farther and farther out to sea, I was quickly left petrified and exhausted. I… I didn't think there was any way I could make it back to shore, and for a dark moment…" Her breath hitched, "I wondered if I was finally going to get to see my mom and dad again..."

Raphael tried to stand up so he could hold her, but she waved him off, "I'm almost done." Her voice steadied once more, "I can't really remember much after that, but I imagine it was around that time that I was rescued. When I opened my eyes, I was on the beach hacking up brine and mucous in front of my uncle. It had been him who had managed to swim out and haul me back to shore.

"After that we still went to the beach again, of course. I mean – how could we not when we lived so close? But… I no longer would have anything to do with the water. Eventually Robyn managed to ease my fear enough for me to walk in the sandy shallows, but I would never go any higher than my calves. I never really learned how to swim because I was too scared to go into the water. Heh. Even now, years later, and I'm still chicken." April gave a sad little laugh, "It's pretty pathetic. I can't even stand going in a kiddie pool, yet you practically live for the water. Some girlfriend I am."

By this point April had finished cleaning the few remaining semi-dried flecks of blood from his cheeks and she was bunching up the damp cloth anxiously between her fists as she stood before him. Raphael frowned, she just looked so damn ashamed and she had no reason to be.

True, he'd never actually swam in the open ocean, but he knew enough from reading online and seeing the news to know that lots of kids drowned in it every year. Hell, even adults did. Sometimes it didn't matter how careful you were, the ocean played by its own rules and if it was your time, you didn't get much of a say.

"Hey," Although he was sitting, Raphael was still almost as tall as April standing, which allowed him to easily cup her cheek, "Don't say that. I don't give a shit if you can swim or not, my feelings for you haven't changed. 'Sides, it wasn't your fault. It could have happened to anyone."

"I'm sorry. I know…" His touch coaxed her onto the bench beside him, "But it still leaves me with this raw taste in my mouth."

"I don't blame you. Come 'ere" Raphael lifted himself slightly so that he could swing his leg over the wood allowing him to straddle the bench. Mindful that his tail was not squished behind him, he pulled her close so that her back was against his plastron. With her damp clothes against his scales, he realized how wet she was, "Did you want me to get you a towel?"

"You're the one that needs it more than me," for the first time since coming out of the water April gave him a coy smirk as she turned to face him, "You're the one who's naked."

Far from pleased at how her grin widened as a blush erupted across his cheeks, Raphael huffed, " _What_? It's not like I have my junk hanging out."

"Uh…" A look of genuine curiosity flashed across her features, which made his scales redden all the more, "Speaking of that… Uh… Where is your… You know…?"

If his face had been warm before, it was white-hot now. He snapped, "Where do you think?!"

He was going to hell. Only a jackass would take comfort at seeing April's own cheeks blaze like that, "How should I know? It's not like they cover male mutant turtle anatomy in high school sex ed!"

Suddenly Raphael felt her close proximity stifling. He jumped from the bench while trying to maintain as much swagger as possible, but they both knew he was mortified. If he weren't so suddenly self-conscious about turning his back and consequently bringing aforementioned object of conversation into view, he would've bolted. It rocketed the expression "to turn tail and run" to a whole new level. Instead Raphael found himself with his carapace pressed against the bank of lockers with his arms folded protectively over his chest. He tried not to look down so as to not be reminded of his obvious anatomical _difference_.

April did not look much more at ease than he did; nonetheless she was the first to find her voice, "Raph… I didn't mean to offend you."

Grinding his teeth while simultaneously not daring to meet her gaze, the turtle stared resolutely at a chip in the concrete floor. "Don't get ahead of yourself. I'm not upset."

"You're a terrible liar you know that?" She tucked a strand of water-darkened auburn hair behind her ear, "Look, neither one of us is comfortable, but it is something we need to at least acknowledge if not discuss." As he shot her a glare ready to lash out again, April cut him off by waving her hands in placation, "Don't misunderstand me Raphael. I don't care what you're packing – my feelings for you won't change – but I think it's only fair that you let me know what I'm working with here. I mean… You know what to expect on my end, right?"

Fucking hell. She was right.

He did know what to expect. She didn't. In a twisted and messed up kind of way, up until now, he had almost greedily hoarded this knowledge from her. He knew he needed to be up front, but it had been one of the few things that actually gave him an – _advantage_ – in their relationship, at least as far as sexual experience went. Even without considering her past partners – which Raphael was more than happy to continue knowing nothing about – April had said it herself: she had even taken a bloody class on it! What did he have? A pile of mouldy old Playboys he and his brothers had fished out of the sewer water.

Of course when Donatello had gotten them access to the net, a whole avenue of possibility was made available, but it still wasn't the same. Especially when the Lair's computer was on display where the whole family could see. Not to mention the auditory _obstacles_ that came when one's father was a mutant rat with extraordinary hearing. Despite any setbacks, the brothers still got more than enough time to themselves, but learning how to attend to a woman's _needs_ were much less of a priority when one truthfully believed it would never happen.

Standing there with his tail up against the wall just went to show how much he knew. Figures.

At Raphael's continued lack of speech, April shook her head with her eyes full of hurt. "Just forget I said anything. It was a mistake to bring it up."

Finally he cleared his throat, "It's not. It's… I'm just different okay?"

"Tell me something I don't already know." Her face lighted softly, "Still, I understand if you're not ready to talk. I shouldn't have cornered you like."

He chuffed as his face filled with the new kind of embarrassment, "Don't apologize. It's natural that you would be curious. I'm just being a dick as usual."

"Pun intended?" April smirked.

Raphael rolled his eyes, "Mikey would be proud."

"Yes he would," her brow furrowed nervously, "So… We good then?"

"Yeah…" The edges of his mouth twitched upwards, "We're good."

Once more feeling comfortable enough to have his shell turn to her, Raphael opened his locker to dig up two of his towels. After tossing one in her direction, he proceeded to wrap his own around his waist – ensuring his tail was well hidden – before leading her to the doorway. He felt his heart flutter softly as she grinned up at him when he opened the door for her. After pulling his clothes back on, Raphael accompanied April up the stairs to the rest of the Lair.

The next few hours were largely uneventful as the turtles' usual Friday night agenda was followed. As a copious amount of unhealthy junk food was prepared, the turtles and April hotly debated what movie to watch now that their gaming marathon had reached its conclusion. Currently it was a draw with Michelangelo and Raphael opting for some horror while Donatello and Leonardo were adamantly defending their favoured sci-fi genre. So, as was often the case, April was stuck as the split vote.

"I'm telling you, _Paranormal Activity_ is supposed to be pretty scary." Michelangelo cheerful chirped as he mixed the butter into the freshly popped popcorn.

"If you believe in demons maybe," Donatello thoughtfully pushed the bridge of his glasses up, "Otherwise it's just ninety minutes of bad effects and even worse acting."

"Who says demons aren't real?" Michelangelo shot back.

"Statistically speaking the odds are pretty slim, Mikey." The purple-clad turtle chided.

"Yeah but so are the chances of four mutant turtles and a rat living in a decked-out pad in NYC's sewers." The youngest turtle argued around a mouthful of popcorn, "Besides your _Star Trek_ aliens are just as unbelievable."

"I'm with Mike, Don." Raphael glanced over his shoulder from the fridge where he extracted a beer, "You gotta come up with something better than that."

"But that's the point," Leonardo looked up from where he was chopping carrot sticks – his attempt at trying to coerce his siblings into making better dietary choices, "Whether you believe in it or not, _Star Trek_ still makes for a good story." He gestured with the paring knife, "While horror movies like this _Paranormal Activity_ just sets you up to be bored."

"And it doesn't help that they always do everything that anyone in their right mind wouldn't do." Donatello asserted.

"Right." Raphael handed an opened beer to April before taking a swig of his own, "So if you're not scared, at least you're guaranteed a laugh."

"For you maybe," Leonardo huffed. "You're not the one who gets woken up every night after we watch one of those things by an inconsolable Mikey."

"I'm not inconsolable," Michelangelo sniffed haughtily, "I just get lonely."

"Right," Leonardo rolled his eyes, "Lonely for someone to keep your nightmares at bay."

"Hey, my room's always open," Raphael defensively folded his arms over his chest.

The youngest snorted, "Dude, the last time I tried to make a nighttime visit you almost stabbed me with your sai!"

"That was eight years ago!" Amber eyes narrowed, "I wouldn't do that now!"

"Yeah because you glaring at me now is so convincing." Michelangelo retorted.

"See?" Leonardo snapped over his bickering brothers, "This is exactly why watching a horror flick is a bad idea."

"Well it doesn't matter what you think. As long as the vote's split, April has the final say," Raphael growled at the elder.

"Great." Leonardo's eyes briefly flicked to where said addressed red-head had been silently observing the brothers' exchange before looking down and muttering darkly, "Left to the perfect jury as usual."

An odd silence rippled across the kitchen. April's eyes widened in surprise while Raphael immediately was in his older brother's face. "'The hell is that supposed to mean?"

Apparently somewhat shocked himself, Leonardo tried to recover, "It's nothing. Forget I said anything. Let's just watch _Paranormal_ _Activity_."

Raphael was not about to forget, "It sure as hell sounded like something to me, _Leonardo_."

"I said it was nothing, so it's nothing." Abandoning his paring knife and cutting board the blue-clad turtle rose, "Let's just drop it, okay?"

The larger turtle was far from ready to just let it go, but before he could get any closer to his offending sibling, April materialized in the narrow space between the two mutant turtles' huge plastrons. The small human was hardly an obstacle between them, but she still more than adequately demanded their attention, "Guys! Chill out, it's just a movie."

Picking up on April's attempt at diplomacy Michelangelo added, "Yeah bros, if it such a big deal to you Leo, I don't mind watching _Star Trek._ "

"Movie my ass." Raphael hissed, "Something's been up Leo's shell for weeks."

Obviously torn between backing away from April and not wanting to give Raphael an inch, Leonardo stood his ground in favour of glaring up at his taller younger brother, "Oh? And what pray tell is exactly up my shell, _Raphael_?"

Before Raphael could open his mouth April beat him to the punch, "It's about me. Isn't it, Leo?"

Michelangelo's and Donatello's eyes bounced back and forth between Raphael, April, and Leonardo while the eldest's icy blue ones were frozen on the redhead's azure as he ignored the amber gaze piercing him from above her crimson locks. For the longest minute no one appeared intent to say anything. Eventually Leonardo sighed before grinding out, "You left us behind."

The two youngest turtles exchanged confused looks, not understanding why the tension had suddenly become even more unbearable. Raphael didn't even realize he had stopped breathing for Leonardo's words were like a lightning bolt to a forgotten part of his spine. April was doing little better, "W-What do you mean?"

The moment she said it, they all knew April was asking a question in which she did not need an answer. Raphael dreaded what was coming when Leonardo humoured her by answering, "You know _exactly_ what I mean. We were supposed to be your "beloved pets." So why do you leave us like that after the fire? _Why did you abandon us_?!"

Even Raphael who had seen the more deadly edge of Leonardo's temper was startled by how his brother practically spat the last syllables at April. It was almost enough to block of the shock that accompanied the words themselves.

Almost.

He had never actually thought about it. Although he did have fragments of memory from the fire and April taking them to safety, Raphael had never considered the fact that once they were free from the burning building their saviour had simply ditched them at some random storm drain. It didn't make sense. Leonardo was right. _Why had she left them?_

"What are you talking about Leo?" Donatello's face spoke volumes on how confused he was, "Master Splinter told us what happened. If April had abandoned us, he would've told us."

Leonardo grimaced, "Master Splinter left out some details."

"How do you know?"

"Leo knows, because Leo remembers." Michelangelo addressed Donatello's question, a deep frown etched on his usually cheerful face, "Both Leo and Raph have memories we don't have because they were older before the mutation started. Isn't that right, Leo?"

Leonardo nodded, but could not respond before Donatello spoke, "Wait… So all this time I thought we were all born mindless turtles therefore having no prior memory before the mutation…" His eyes narrowed behind thick lenses, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Just because we can remember some things doesn't mean we were fully with it, Don." Leonardo confessed, "Trust me, most of my memories from that time aren't worth remembering, but I do remember the fire."

Once more all eyes fell on to the source of their unanswered question. Holding her middle with her back to the counter to where she had retreated earlier April murmured, "I wish I could tell you some heroic tale that would explain why I did what I did. I wish I could've been the Hogosha you deserved. I can wish for those things all I want, but it won't make them true. It won't change what happened because Leo's right: I did abandon you, and even worse: _I don't know why_."

The turtles around her were stunned into silence.

Whatever Raphael had expected, it was not this. It was even worse than what he had been dreading. Telling them that she had ditched them because she didn't want to deal with the potential _consequences_ of bringing such strange creatures into her home would have hurt, but at least if that had been the case it would have meant that she at least cared enough to _acknowledge_ their existence. _But this?_ This was an answer given to describe an action of… _Indifference_. They had simply been thrown away and there hadn't even been a reason for doing so. They hadn't even garnered that much worth.

This from the woman they – _he_ – had come to idolize. There was no more magic under that Santa suit than there was in the man underneath who lived month-to-month on welfare checks and food stamps. And for the first time, Raphael _saw_ April.

He saw her frail figure and her pale skin splotched with freckles, the occasional clustering of acne, and the redness of shame. He saw the purple bags under her eyes and the tendrils of budding wrinkles that would soon linger into the earliest subtle impression of crow's feet. He saw her chewed nails, her frizzy hair, and her stubbly legs. He saw it all. Every single one of her imperfections, her mistakes, and her neuroses were suddenly startlingly on display, forcing him to be unabashedly confronted with every inch of the person with whom he had given his heart.

 _No one_ deserved to hold it more.

"Let me ask you something." Raphael turned to Leonardo, "If you could go back to that day – back to that very stinking grate – and convince April to take us home, would you?" Before the elder could answer he plowed on, "Because _I wouldn't_.

"Even if she had taken us home, how long do you think we would've lasted before some lab came for us? Either Sacks would have caught a whiff of us in a few days or April's relatives would have turned us in the instant we started to really mutate. Even if April had done everything she could to save us we probably would've ended up on a dissection table. Her leaving us where no one could find us was the best thing that could have happened, Leo. 'Sides, as much as the early days sucked – between the cold and lack of food – wasn't it worth it just for us getting the chance to grow up together? To be a family?"

"Of course it was!" Leonardo gestured, "You guys mean everything to me!"

"Well then," Raphael strode over to where April stood and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. His heart burned to feel her trembling out of such emotional distraught. "Why are you giving April such a hard time?"

Michelangelo beamed in the couple's direction, "Yeah Leo, besides it happened like almost twenty years ago. It's practically ancient history now."

"I'm with them as well." Donatello nodded in affirmation, "Additionally, if Sensei has no scruples regarding the matter we should trust his judgment."

"Thank-you for having such firm faith in me, Donatello." Once more the rooms' occupants' attention all merged onto a single source. Master Splinter was leaning on the walking stick he had come to strongly rely on since his dealings with The Shredder, "Nonetheless, I appreciate Leonardo's opinion even when it differs from my own. That said, I would like to keep your communal trudging through such emotional turmoil to a minimum. I think it would be far more valuable to all of us if Leonardo and I continued this conversation in private." The rat gestured to his eldest son, "Leonardo, if you please." The addressed turtle obediently followed his Sensei's request, but before Splinter departed after his eldest son he nodded in farewell to the assembled group, "Enjoy your movie night my sons. Oh, and Miss O'Neil, please do not let this ruin your evening. We can always discuss it further in the morning."

"Thank you Master Splinter." April quietly murmured from underneath Raphael's strong arm.

The aged rat nodded. As he turned his back he was met with a round of polite, "Goodnights" before disappearing into his chambers.

Despite the other turtles' backing, April was very quiet as the group finished making up the food in the kitchen. Soon enough the group found themselves clustered around the TV. With neither Michelangelo nor Raphael any longer in the mood for horror and not wanting to watch _Star Trek_ without Leonardo, the turtles opted for the ever-popular _Dark Knight_. However, not even twenty minutes into the film, April was extracting herself from the pizza box couch. At Raphael's unspoken question, she whispered, "Sorry… I'm really tired all of a sudden. I think I'm going to turn in early."

"Do you want me to-"

"No, don't worry about it." April waved him off, "I'm fine, just sleepy. I can take care of myself. I know where everything is."

Recognizing her need to be alone, Raphael let her go, but he was still concerned about leaving her to such demons on her own. Nearly an hour later, Raphael gave into his anxiety and he too abandoned the movie.

"Et tu, Raph?" Michelangelo whined.

"I'm just not feeling it tonight, Mike." Without further ado, Raphael strode off in the direction of the bedrooms. Taking the opportunity to check on her, he quietly eased open the bedroom door. Within the darkness, he spied her still form in the bed. Assuming she was asleep and not wanting to disturb her, he closed the door once more. Yet, Raphael was far from relaxed. His restlessness driving him, he set out to find respite in the weight room.

Quickly losing track of time, wrapped up in all that had happened that night, Raphael soon found himself in the early hours of the morning. It was only when his muscles were burning and his eyes were finally beginning to feel the heaviness of exhaustion that he finally made his way back into the main part of the Lair. He cursed under his breath when he glanced at the clock hanging in the kitchen as he went to grab a swig of fresh water to moisten his dry throat. He had no idea how it went from ten PM to two AM so fast.

Shaking his head in annoyance, he ditched his now empty glass in the sink before redirecting himself to the bedrooms. Feeling his muscles relax, Raphael could not resist sighing contentedly as he laid down in his domed bed. Although the brothers no longer shared a communal sleeping space, none of them had wanted to part with their modified sleeping arrangements. So each one had taken a curved bed into their rooms when they relocated to their new home.

It was just when Raphael was beginning to brush the edge of consciousness that his eyes abruptly flew open snapped open at the sound of his door creaking. There, in the shadows of the darkened hallway, stood April in her large wrinkled black "I heart NYC" t-shirt and pink boy shorts. Even though she tried to be silent, Raphael clearly heard the soft padding of her tiptoes on the cold stone floor. However, still somewhat groggy, he murmured, "What is it?"

April rubbed her arm self-consciously, "Please don't throw a sai at me. I just don't want to be alone anymore."

Dragging himself up he swung his feet over the edge of his bed grunting in annoyance, "I'm not gonna stab you with anything." Seeing her flinch slightly he softened his tone, "Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Don't laugh."

"I'm not gonna laugh." In reassurance he stretched out his hand towards her prompting her to walk forward, "Come 'ere."

When she was close enough, he guided her to sit onto the bed beside him, "I had a nightmare."

Despite her obvious discomfort, the tiny voice she used to say it he could only describe as adorable. Not to mention, he was slightly overwhelmed that she had chosen to wander through the dark Lair to _his_ _room_ to _seek him_ as a source of comfort. Frankly, Raphael could not help but sweep her into his arms as he lay back into the curve of his bed. Nestling her onto his plastron, he tenderly whispered, "Want to talk about it?"

Suddenly April rose onto her forearms glaring down at him, "Why are you being so nice to me? After knowing what I did. After everything, you still act as though nothing happened. _Why_? You heard Leo, I _abandoned you guys_ in the sewer!"

Blinking up at her, he brushed a tangle of tousled hair away from her face to tuck it behind her ear, "God you're beautiful."

Her eyes narrowed, "Did you listen to a thing I said?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Raphael rolled his eyes, "but for your sake I'll reiterate: _it doesn't matter, April._ "

"What do you mean _it doesn't matter_? How could it not matter?!"

"Fine. I can't deny it wasn't the greatest revelation of the night finding out my girlfriend ditched me and my family in a drain when I was a baby for no apparent reason. Frankly, it sucked and hurt like hell. But you know what? We all needed to hear it. _You_ needed to hear it.

"We forget sometimes in our own stupid pity party of self-hatred abhorring our damned existence as mutant freaks that you're still just a human. You have flaws like everyone else and we shouldn't hold them against you. For crying out loud April, you don't hold it against us that we're freaks! Hell, you don't hold shit against anyone!

"Then tonight, I was looking at you in the kitchen… Fuck April! You're so beautiful in _every way_ , in _every flaw_ , and I _never_ want to fall in love with anybody else.

"You made a mistake April. So what? Between me and my bros I'm sure we could list off a thousand things that I screwed up on when I was a kid. We _all_ screw up, and even if you had one moment of poor judgment, you still cared more deeply for us than our little pea-sized reptilian brains could have ever possibly imagined."

Tears began to well in her eyes, "I was so scared. I couldn't see through the smoke. I couldn't find my dad anywhere. Then… Then I found you crawling around on the floor and somehow my body moved of its own accord to get you outside to safety. B-but Raphael… I was so scared! I couldn't think straight and my mouth felt like it was full of ash. I remembered I needed to find my dad and I just did the first thing I could think of: where do reptiles in New York go? The sewers.

"It wasn't until a few days later, when I knew my father was dead and my aunt and uncle came to get me that I realized the mistake I had made. Not only had I lost my father, but I lost my best friends too. When I went north to Rhode Island, I truthfully believed I would never see you again. I may have saved you from the fire, but I still sealed your fate. In the end I still let you _die_."

Throughout her speech more tears began to leak from her eyes and Raphael himself felt his eyes water a little, but now she was fully sobbing once more onto his chest. Although more than anything he wanted to stop her tears, he knew she needed this. Years of pent-up sorrow and guilt from the trauma no little girl should ever experience, had to be released if her burns ever hoped to heal.

Eventually, as all such cathartic moments inevitably do, April's ended with bleary eyes and the occasional undignified sniffle. Raphael dared to believe she must have exhausted herself to the brink of finding sweet relief in sleep at last; so naturally he was a little startled when she suddenly pulled herself out of his grasp to return to the floor. His confusion continued when she wrapped her clammy hand around one of his large digits, "Come on."

Not enjoying how his aching muscles protested as he pulled himself into a standing position in groaned, "Where are we going?"

"Just come on."

"Can't this wait 'till morning?"

April flat out ignored him as she left his bedroom, causing him to grumble obscenities under his breath as he followed in her wake. Yet, he could not deny his curiosity as she disappeared down the hallway leading to the pool. Pursuing her down the stairs, perplexed, Raphael tilted his head as he saw her wander over to the basking area. It was here that the pool was sloped in order to replicate the feeling of being on a lakeshore. Half of the large concrete slabs were surrounded in shallow water while half of them were completely dry. The partially submerged boulders marked the start of a gradual declination, which continued for several meters before pitching more sharply into the deep depths of the cistern. He cocked an eye ridge as April put her toes into the shallows, "Ain't it a little late for a swim?" When she didn't answer he tried a more direct approach, "What're you doing?"

Finally April looked up at him with a strange expression on her face, "After the fire and later after the beach, I felt like part of myself was left behind. It's weird though, moments like these I feel like they're here again but… Somehow they're not quite the same. Now they feel _better_ ; it's almost like they never fit properly to begin with and now _they do_."

"Um…" Slowly, Raphael took several steps towards her still unsure of what she was thinking, "Okay…"

"I don't know…" She gave him a tiny forlorn smile as she shook her head, "I guess what I'm saying is I don't want to be afraid anymore."

"But April," He looked directly into her eyes, "That's the thing. You aren't the same person anymore. You once told me that I'm no longer a pet, and the same goes for you. You're no longer that little girl."

"If that's true," April frowned, "Then why am I still afraid?"

"Because no matter how much you grow, fear will always be there." He placed his hands on her shoulders, "I get scared now just as I used to get scared as that little turtle. The difference now though is that instead of running and hiding from it, like I used to, now I can face it. I can even use it to motivate me and show me what really matters. I wouldn't be scared of losing someone if they weren't important to me, right?" At the thought, he closed his eyes and pulled her close, "But that significance is lost if I don't have my fear to let me recognize it."

April snuggled into his grasp and released a deep sigh, "Thanks Raph."

"Don't mention it." He opened his eyes once more. Spying the water he spoke as an idea came to him, "You know, I could teach you to swim." As she pulled back to give him a skeptical look he defended, "Properly this time. No throwing you into the deep end. I promise."

April's eyes began to sparkle, "I don't suppose there are many swimming teachers better than a turtle are there?"

"You kidding me?" He chuckled, "If I weren't worried about getting beat over the head with a soccer mom's purse, I'd make one hell of a swim instructor."

"Yes you would. But…" She laid a soft hand onto his smooth chest plates and allowed her eyes to obviously rove over his physique, "I personally think you make better life guard material."

He was pleased that she was finally returning to herself, "Awe shucks, you caught me." What the hell? He lifted one massive arm and flexed, "What gave it away? I'm a little more ripped than the instructors at the community pool?"

Loving how she giggled in delighted response, Raphael smirked down at her as she pinched the air in demonstration before her, "Oh, just a little." He stood his ground when her face solemnly stilled, "You promise you'll take it slow?"

Without a breath of hesitation he vowed, "I promise." Raising a three-fingered hand, "Scout's honour."

"I don't know if that counts if you've never actually been a scout."

Despite the teasing, he was relieved to hear her tone relax. "Fine." He glanced at his hand, "How about turtle's honour?"

She laughed as she wrapped her arms as far as they would go around his middle before she laid her ear onto his chest, "Works for me."

Raphael could only laugh with her as he returned her embrace before carrying her back up the stairs and to his bed. Once more he positioned her carefully on top of his plastron. While she settled into his embrace, Raphael's mind wandered through all they had gone through that day. When his thoughts landed on a particular memory – now hardly significant compared to the other hurdles they had seen that day – despite trying to restrain it, his dry laugh vibrated his plastron causing her to glance sleepily up into his eyes, "What's so funny?"

"Just thinking about earlier."

"And…?"

"Do you remember a certain question you asked me?"

"No… What are you…?" Her eyes widened and he loved how her cheeks reddened yet again, "You're not seriously going to pick a fight over this now are you?"

"Naw," He assured her by soothingly rubbing her back through the green blanket that covered her.

She still continued to look at him warily, "Does that mean I can go to sleep now?"

He chuckled causing her to vibrate once more, "Never said you couldn't." Eyeing him dubiously, he had to coax her into closing her eyes by closing his own first. Several minutes later, knowing she was still awake he murmured, "It's in my tail."

Eyes closed, Raphael couldn't help himself from smirking as she raised herself slightly on her forearms undoubtedly out of a futile attempt to see said green scaled appendage, "Your tail?"

"My tail." He confirmed.

"But…" God how could her voice sound so innocently adorable? "How's it fit in there?"

Opening his eyes, he chuckled, "That's a story for another day." Winking at her, he playfully pulling her back down into his arms and proceeded to tease her with as many trails of tickling kisses as he could before they easily sank into their dreams together.

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 **A/N Sorry for the delay guys… Hopefully it was worth the wait! Also for the record, I am a total pansy when it comes to horror movies and** ** _Paranormal Activity_** **did indeed ruin my life. I didn't sleep for a week after watching it in undergrad and I still get freaked out just thinking about it…**

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 **To my lovely reviewers:**

 **marvelousnorth: Ahh! Thank-you so much :) I agree, I can't help but love them too!**

 **Moonlight-Damsel: Yes, you do – I sincerely mean it. It is a small world indeed, isn't it? Oh goodness, thank-you! "Love or Blood" was definitely a work of love and means a lot to me on so many levels.**

 **Damona84: Haha, not going to lie, I've had the idea of their underground pool/hot tubs/let's be honest it's a turtle spa XD for AGES! I mean why stop at one level? Am I right? Yay! That is exactly why I started writing it – my 2k14 Raphril ship needed to be fed lol.**

 **TheLadyOfSouls: Thank-you! Yes, I'll have to get back to Vern in later chapters, but at least we got some insight into what Leonardo's deal was.**

 **Nami Swannn: Bahaha You are so welcome! A few months ago, I had one of my friends ask me about it in relation to a recent splurge of tumblr posts, and it's been bugging me ever since. Back then I did a ton of research to slam the book at the topic, but I still felt it needed to be said to a wider audience. Thus, this! So bam! If anyone acts disgusted feel free to throw this chapter at them ;)**

 **Guest 1 &2 (I'm assuming you're the same person): Well, it's taking me a while to dig into the brothers, but I am trying. I have just always felt that no healthy relationship is a single closed entity, especially when it comes to the turtles. They are just so close – how could something like this not affect them on a deeper level? I still have a bit more work to do with Leo, and will probably eventually address Don as well. I also totally agree 2k14 order of turtles most likely to hang with April: Raph, Leo, Don, and finally Mikey. Thank-you for taking the time to review! :)**

 **AllyM93: Score! Ten points for Diporae! Lol, I really really really try to get into new/unique things in my fics that haven't been seen before. It's hard though when there are so many ship fics out there. Thank-you so much for letting me know!**

 **MizoreShirayukiFan: Haha fair enough. I know many people who share your ships in the 2k12 'verse. Thank-you for reading and reviewing :D**

 **Larka13: Oh my… Is it bad I find it very amusing mentally seeing Vern getting the shit scared out of him by Raph (excuse my language)? I was personally kind of torn over Vern in the movie though. One the one hand, his sexism pissed me off, but on the other hand he still had some good moments when he wasn't hitting on April. Ah well, maybe I'll have to bring him back in later chapters to continue teaching him some manners.**

 **SetoAngel01: BAHAHA! At this rate methinks your neighbours are going to wonder when a dinosaur moved in next door to them lol. Confession time: when I saw your post a few weeks ago before I posted Ch. 7 that you were bummed out, I totally used it as motivation to get my rear in gear to finish it to try and cheer you up. I'm glad it worked! Yeah, I can get why people get annoyed with Vern over his sexist comments, but I still think he had plenty of good moments when he wasn't being a dick. I'm pumped I did such a good job writing him though! I tots was hearing his voice as I wrote the dialogue so obviously it paid off XD Still, hopefully this new chapter hits all the sweet spots. There's a ton of character development/emotional obstacles plus a huge dash of Raphril. ;)**


	9. Chapter 9: Eldest Siblings

**A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence.**

 **Also the ever-wonderful-and-lovely SetoAngel01 drew some awesome fanart for chapter 8 on her tumblr. It involves the tail talks so you all need to go check it out! She also has been doing some pretty fantastic Raphril fanfic, which is def worth reading! "Afterglow" is perfect if you need a good dose of some 2k12 Raphril fluff.**

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Eldest Siblings

It had only taken the better part of her endurance but finally, come the evening after April's return to her newly painted apartment, the sweltering heat of summer had finally begun to wane. With September little more than a week away, it was about time that things in New York City started to cool. Not that the redhead had all that much to complain about; after all she had been fortunate enough to spend the worst of the heatwave below ground in her friends' home. The turtles' Lair may be a lot of things, but it was a pretty sweet spot to spend one's time when the city above was being grilled on black pavement while being marinated in smog.

Nonetheless, even though her apartment was not quite as ideal in the temperature department as the guys' place, April was still relieved that her landlord had finally finished his work allowing her to return. She loved the turtles, but she loved her home as well. There was just something about having her own personal space that she had missed. Maybe it was because she no longer felt compelled to wash her dishes the instant she made them, or maybe it was because she was no longer at the constant mercy of turtle sneak attacks – unintentional or otherwise – but either way she was more than pleased as she plopped herself onto her suede couch that Tuesday evening.

It had been another long day at work, and she was looking forward to simply putting up her feet, skyping with Robyn, and then maybe finishing the day with a cool shower before bed. With a little of Michelangelo's leftover risotto mixed in for her dinner, April was anticipating the evening to be as a whole rather successful – and it wasn't even six yet! After throwing open her windows – to get the residual paint fumes to abate – and dinner in hand, she soon had her laptop open on her coffee table awaiting her cousin's call.

Ten minutes later, the infamous skype chime broke through the constant song of the city around her. She could not resist smiling at her screen as Robyn's freckled face appeared, "Hey Rob!"

"Hiya stranger!" April rolled her eyes as her cousin smirked at her own wit, "How're things in the Big Cheese?"

"You mean apple," The New Yorker replied dryly.

"To-may-toe, to-maw-toe. So I see you're no longer homeless."

"Yep, my landlord, Bill, called me last night with the good news."

"What? Is _your boyfriend's_ place really that bad?"

Robyn teased out the word with the full intention of causing April to give the usual response of, "He is not!" but with all the chaos of breaking the news to Raphael's family and being temporarily evicted, April hadn't actually talked to her "big sister" in several weeks. Of course they still texted regularly, and Robyn knew April had crashed at Raphael's place the last few days, but as of yet, April hadn't broken the news that her and the mutant turtle were officially an item. It wasn't that she was ashamed of Raphael; in fact it was Robyn she was concerned of. She knew the moment she told her cousin what had transpired it would be interrogation central, and frankly, April wasn't all too sure how to go about it. She imagined she would have to tell her cousin the truth eventually, but putting it off for as long as possible was far too appealing to resist.

Too bad the awkward silence April gave in lieu of taking Robyn's bait was as revealing to the elder as if April had just proclaimed her feelings loudly to the heavens. "OH. MY. GAWD." Robyn's eyes were as wide as saucers, "YOU ARE DATING! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"

"Uh…" April rubbed her forearm nervously, "I was going to tell you…"

"When?!" The younger red-head shuddered under the impaling excitement of her cousin's tone, "No, never mind, there are more important things to discuss than you keeping the details of your romantic life from your big sister you little vixen! How long have you two been _a thing_?!"

"Two weeks as of yesterday." April felt her mouth automatically smile at the memory.

"Two weeks…" Robyn's eyes narrowed at the memory, "That's the night I talked to him! I guess he's got balls if my "kick your ass" line didn't freak him out."

"Trust me Robyn," April chuckled despite her nerves, "There is no way you could take Raph on."

"Ooo," The elder teased, "You even have a nickname for him!"

"I didn't give it to him; his brothers have called him that for years."

"He has brothers?"

"…" Oh shit. They were getting deeper with every step, "Yes, three."

"Geez, that's a lot of testosterone. Good thing you've got a sis whose husband has two. I can give you advice."

Purposely ignoring Robyn's wink, April attempted to divert the subject, "Speaking of, how is Colin?"

"Oh he's fine. No changing the subject! When do I get to meet him?"

"Uh… Isn't it a bit early for that?"

Robyn huffed, "Fine. Do I at least get to see a picture?"

"Uh…" April tried to think fast, but kept hitting a wall, "I don't have one?"

"BS Ace. You've known him for _months_. You must have a picture. What's his Facebook?"

"He doesn't have one." At least that was the truth.

"Who doesn't have Facebook?" Robyn sounded grossly offended at the very idea.

"Lots of people." April retorted, "Some people do value their privacy you know."

"Hmph, so I've heard." Robyn frowned, "I'm still not buying that you don't have a single picture of the guy."

"Well, I don't."

Well, technically she did. Lots and lots of baby photos from Raphael's pre-mutation days, but there was a significant lack of post-mutation pictures. Understandably, the guys were more than reluctant to have their image caught on film. April had learned her lesson after the Sacks' fiasco. As nice as it would be, she resisted taking any further pictures that would provide evidence to the existence of six foot tall mutant turtles. She had even deleted the grainy photo from that night on the rooftops. It just wasn't worth it.

"So not only will you not let me meet him, but you won't let me see a picture. You know, if I hadn't talked to him on the phone, I'd be wondering if he's even real." Oh he was real, but Robyn wouldn't believe how unbelievable Raphael was. "I just don't get why you're being so secretive about this. Usually you're pretty open when you hook up with a new boy."

"I just don't want to rush things…" April sighed, "Or scare him off."

"Again, I reiterate: I threated to Kick His Ass! If he's still around, I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"It's not that simple!" April blurted out.

"How is it complicated?" Robyn ticked off on her fingers to emphasize, "One: You like the guy and he likes you. Two: You both confess your feelings. Three: You both become official. Four: You tell each other's families."

"Oh? Is that the "official protocol" on how to go about dating someone?" April quipped sardonically.

"It should be!" The elder retorted, "How else are poor siblings ever going to get any details?"

"Because my romantic life is your sole source of entertainment. I didn't realize they pulled "Days of Our Lives" off the air."

"Hey, don't knock it 'till you try it!"

"Yeah, that's not going to happen."

Huh. If April ever somehow figured out a way to introduce Robyn to her unorthodox friends, her and Master Splinter would probably become best friends for life over their shared love of sappy soaps. April would have to remember to tell Raphael that one. He'd definitely get a kick out of hearing that.

"Well your poor taste of fine television aside, I still don't understand why you won't give me a little more dirt, April."

"Look, Robyn, just because you want the details on every aspect of your little sister's-"

 _Knock. Knock._

April immediately silenced at the sound of rapping on her open window. Was it dark out already? She wasn't expecting Raphael, but of course she never turned down the opportunity to see him. Yet, she was startled by not the appearance of her buff, red-masked boyfriend, but instead his older brother, Leonardo. The turtle she hadn't seen in days – not since their confrontation in the Lair's kitchen.

April had spoken with Master Splinter in the morning, and apparently Leonardo had needed some space to go and deal with his current emotional turmoil. According to Master Splinter, Leonardo had never been one to openly show his emotions. Instead, he chose to continually put them aside. He felt just as powerfully as Raphael did, but unlike Raphael who dealt with his emotions as they came – often a messy process – Leonardo neglected to even acknowledge them. So when he eventually encountered an event which threw a strong enough blow to crack his defenses, often the eldest would find his entire emotional dam rupturing and as a result, would be at an utter loss as to how to even begin to deal with the fallout. Consequently, unresolved events from years past were not immune to making reappearances in such circumstances.

Although she now possessed a clearer view into the psyche of the lead turtle, April had still spent the remainder of the weekend fretting over Leonardo's absence. Raphael was trying to be there for her, but he struggled with his own feelings towards his brother. Frankly, Raphael was pissed and it was hard for him to see much more than anger when the topic of said blue-banded turtle came up. Admittedly, the Leonardo-related drama was part of the reason why April had been so thankful to finally go home.

So, to see _him_ on _her_ fire escape politely awaiting permission to enter _her_ apartment when she was _supposed_ to be having a relaxing evening talking to Robyn, left her more than a little unimpressed. However, despite her reservations, she still wanted to fix things with Leonardo, and if he had sought her out on his own, she could hardly turn him away. "What was that?"

April's eyes flitted back to her monitor. Oh right. Robyn. "Uh just a second Rob."

Turning the monitor so that the screen would only see the couch and her bed in the background, April dashed over to the open window, "Leo," she whispered, "This isn't the best time; I'm skyping with Robyn."

"I'm sorry to inconvenience you April, but I would really appreciate the opportunity to speak with you."

The turtle's formality only told April that he was uncomfortable. It gave her no insight as to how he currently felt towards her. "Alright. Just let me deal with Robyn."

Returning to her monitor as Leonardo smoothly slid through the narrow frame before gently easing the glass and then the blinds down, April was met with a glowering redhead, "You had better not be ditching me."

"Well uh…" April sighed, "I kind of am."

"Is Raphael here?"

April did not appreciate how Leonardo visibly stiffened from where he stood in the kitchen. "Um, no it's his brother actually." Shit, why did she just tell Robyn that? April tried not to wither under Leonardo's stern stare clearly denoting that she was treading on thin ice.

"Oh! Does he look like Raphael? Can I at least meet him?"

"No!" April snapped under the combined pressure from both eldest siblings' glares, "I mean… Uh…"

April balked when Leonardo walked up behind the monitor's screen and calmly spoke, "I'm sorry Miss – O'Neil?"

Robyn, clearly pleased at her progress to at least hear a new voice, chirped back, "Mrs. Wilson now – my wedding was only a few weeks ago."

"Ah congratulations, Mrs. Wilson. My name is Leonardo. I apologize for the interruption, but I'm afraid my brothers and I are rather – _self-conscious –_ about our appearances."

"Oh right!" Robyn pounded her fist into her palm in understanding, "I totally forgot! Raphael told me about his skin condition. Is it hereditary then? It must be if you all have it."

Leonardo gave April a sharp look who could only subtly shrug, "Yes, it is. All of us have the same skin. Therefore, you must understand why we have requested April use the utmost discretion wherever our appearances are concerned, and we would greatly appreciate it if you did not heckle her further upon the matter."

April blinked wide-eyed at Leonardo _. Did he just do that?_ Did he really just tell Robyn to back off of her interrogation – on _April's_ behalf? "Oh…" Robyn visibly deflated, "I'm sorry. I didn't even think that she had a good reason to be so closed off about this… I was just curious. I hope I didn't offend you."

"Do not concern yourself with it. We are a unique circumstance, different from the norm. I would not expect you to behave any differently, especially where your loved one is concerned. However, despite our reclusive lifestyle, I can assure you that your sister is in good hands. Raphael thinks the world of her as do I and the rest of our family."

April could barely register Robyn's response. Her ears were ringing oddly as her brain tried to comprehend the magnitude of praise Leonardo had just bestowed on her. This could not be the same turtle who she confronted the other day. Where was the guy demanding an explanation for her ten-year-old-self's actions? "You'd be insane not to."

"Heh. So I've gathered." Leonardo gave a tiny grin, "My brother is a lucky man indeed."

"Well then, I guess we can catch up more later Ace." Robyn grinned sheepishly as she waved farewell, "Sorry about the grilling."

"It's okay Rob." April had to give Leonardo credit, she had been trying to figure out how to take Robyn down a couple of pegs for years when she was in moods like this one, and he had basically left her quiet and meek in all of ten seconds. "We'll talk more then, I promise."

The elder laughed somewhat half-heartedly, "I'll hold you to it. It was nice talking to you Leonardo."

"I enjoyed it as well. I've heard many good things about you from April. Goodnight."

Robyn frowned at the formality before smiling slightly while shaking her head, "Goodnight." Then she hung up.

Still more than a little disgruntled at what had just occurred, April looked up at Leonardo, "Wow... I've never seen Robyn back down so quickly."

He continued to stand stiffly from behind her laptop screen even as she closed the lid, "Sometimes the direct approach is the best. Nonetheless, the key is to tell enough of the truth while omitting the details you do not wish to share."

"Spoken like a true turtle who grew up with a house full of nosey brothers."

"Mikey can be particularly trying, yes."

They both endured uncomfortable silence until April sighed, "So? What is it that you could not wait to talk to me about?"

Leonardo fidgeted awkwardly, "I want to apologize for my behaviour a few days ago."

"You were undeniably an ass, yes," April quirked an eyebrow, "but I think we both know there's more to this than that."

"I…" He curled his toes subtly into the carpet before exhaling sharply, "It's not that I hold a grudge against you. You were a little girl and hardly in an adequate headspace considering the circumstances."

Growing impatient at his indirect answer, April frowned. "So are you or are you not still pissed at me for something I did fifteen years ago?"

"I am not angry with you for what you did," Leonardo's mouth was thin, "I'm concerned for what you choose to do in the future."

April gaped at him. She could not help but feel offended, "Why?"

"Please hear me out April." For the first time since he arrived their eyes truly met. April swore those eyes could freeze anyone's heart in fear, but now they were etched with indigo as though they themselves inspired the stormy sea, "My memories from those days are sparse at best and are filled predominantly with primal feelings and instincts. There are very few in which I can remember half as clearly as I can a dream. I relied on Master Splinter's memories to guide me as I grew, and for a long time I believed the little girl who cared for us in the lab to later rescue us from the fire, was our Hogosha, our guardian spirit. Then we met you April and suddenly that little girl was no longer some mystical being of legend, but true flesh and blood.

"Naturally I was delighted to be given the opportunity to not just thank, but become friends with our saviour. It was not until after everything that occurred with Sacks that I began to think. It made sense when you were a Hogosha that you had to leave us behind on earth for she was of the spirit realm and we were not. That theory no longer applied now that I knew you were real.

"The first few months after the Sacks' incident, I brushed it off; as you said, you were young and cannot be held accountable for those actions of the past. Yet, as I saw my brothers grow more attached to you – as _I_ grew more attached – I began to worry. What if we were met with the same situation now? Would you leave us again?

"Again, I dismissed it. You had more than proved your loyalty to us when you not only risked your life to save us from Shredder, but your career by not revealing us to the world."

He paused and she murmured, "So then why, Leo? Why do you have such a problem with me and Raphael being together?"

Leonardo gave a tiny smile as he shook his head, "For an equally long time, I believed none of us would ever become close to a woman, let alone be granted their love. Then I saw Raphael fall in love with you, and incredibly, you returned his feelings. Raphael has always struggled to accept his place in the world – to accept himself. You changed that. You gave him hope and love, not just from you, but for himself. I wanted to be happy for you both – I was happy for you both – but then that nagging thought returned: what if she leaves him like she left us so long ago?

"Then it hit me. If you were to leave Raphael, it would be nothing like the day you left us in the storm drain. We were together. We had each other's strength and power. Now it is different. Now it is just you and him, and if you leave him, he will be shattered. Yes, he will have us – he always will – but that heart we grew together in that storm drain would be left with a hole that cannot be repaired, for now that Raphael had given his heart to you he can never have it back. If you leave, you will take his heart – a piece of our family – and Raphael will never recover from it.

"That is why I acted the way I did. Not out of some cruel grudge, but out of fear. The fear of you breaking my brother's heart. Don't you see, April? My family is _everything_ to me. I would do anything to protect them. When I saw you as a threat to that harmony, I became angry and in turn I lashed out at you, for I was not just being protective of my brother but of you as well. I wanted to protect you from my own stupid nature. I wanted to protect you from my doubts. I am sorry April. I tried, but I could not hold them back from you.

"But now I know I cannot stop what is in progress, nor do I want to. I want both you and Raphael to have all the happiness in the world. Yet, it is my fear that cripples me so, and so I beg of you. Please do not leave us again. Please do not break my brother's heart."

And even though Leonardo did not say it, April read his thoughts: if she broke Raphael's heart, she would break them all. When she agreed to a relationship with Raphael, she began a relationship with his entire family. They were that strongly connected. She, the one who began it, could so easily end it all.

The very thought of doing such a thing devastated her. Didn't Leonardo see? Yes she had given Raphael her heart, but the whole family now bore the responsibility of protecting it. She was just as vulnerable as they were. She loved them just as much as they loved her.

After his long speech's conclusion, Leonardo shifted his weight from foot to foot in agitation, but his eyes still – albeit uncomfortably – held April's own. It was obvious he would not release her until he had an answer. Yet it was clear he had said all he intended and would patiently await her move.

"Leo I…" April swallowed trying to keep from choking on the precious chains that bound her heart to theirs, "I don't know if I can give you the answer you want. Not because I want to hurt you, but because there is no way I could ever hope to tell you how much you all mean to me and how devastated I would be if I didn't have Raphael – you – all of you – in my life. I may be bound more tightly to Raphael, but I am still connected to you. Don't you think I've realized that? Gosh Leo, isn't it obvious? You're my family too.

"I know you are scared of me leaving again, but you need to understand that I am not that little girl anymore Leo. I am me," she emphasized by placing her hand over her heart, "and I love you. I love you all and I would do anything to keep you safe and from harm. That's a promise."

Suddenly Leonardo looked so much younger. He always gave the impression of being older beyond his years, but at that moment April saw the young, insecure boy shining from his eyes, "You promise you won't leave?"

"Oh Leo," April stood up to cross the carpet to wrap her arms firmly around his plastron, "As long as I breathe, I will do everything to stay with you."

He gently wrapped his arms around her shoulders as he questioned, "Promise?"

"I promise, Leonardo."

His body gracefully extracted itself from her grasp. April did not miss the subtle darkening of his cheeks despite his polite little bow, "Thank-you April." He raised himself as he turned to the window, "I'll let you get back to your evening."

As an idea hit her, she lunged for his hand, "Hey Leo," April grinned as he turned curiously, "You want to stay and watch _Star Trek_ with me?"

When Leonardo smiled, April knew all was well between them, "Shell yeah." For although Raphael held her heart, all the turtles protected it, just as she did theirs and always would.

* * *

 **A/N Sorry for the lack of direct Raphril, but a bit of Leo fluff never hurt anyone right? Besides Leo needed a moment because he was really struggling with some stuff. Also, I've always liked the idea of April having a nickname, but I have personally always hated "Ape." Thus, "Ace" was born with Robyn naturally being the one to introduce it.**

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 **To my lovely reviewers:**

 **Nami Swannn: Yes I am! No one ever gets shoopuf the reference but I always thought it sounded hilarious XD Yeah... Leo did get that. He just struggles sometimes. Hopefully his motivation makes more sense now though. Thanks for reviewing!**

 **arambo: Haha I'm glad you liked it XD I have to admit I was giggling more than normal when I was writing those scenes. Thanks for reviewing!**

 **Guest: Yes Raphril for the win! That's one of the reasons why I've always liked these two: for their blend of romance and friendship. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

 **Larka13: Haha it's a talent what can I say? ;) I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for reviewing!**

 **SetoAngel01: BAHAHA… I love how we have escalated not just dino levels but to emails XD It's kind of awesome!**

 **RBBBH: Thank-you! I probably enjoyed writing the tail scenes way too much, but it was so worth it! *Sigh* It's true… I did say I was the biggest pansy EVER when it comes to horror flicks though… Well, not the gory ones so much (cause my nerdy science side is all "and that's anatomically incorrect, and that's wrong, and that doesn't attach there…") but if there is a ghost/demon/supernatural anything I'm doomed. Maybe this is why I spend so much time watching ninja turtles all the time XD Consequently, I don't think you need to worry about me never writing again lol.**


	10. Chapter 10: The Skunks

Our Younger Years

 **A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence!**

 **Time to take a break from the drama of the main fic and just have some fun – mostly cuz this idea come out of nowhere last night and I had to get it out. I also am procrastinating XD**

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The Skunks

April snorted at her computer screen just as a series of sharp raps came from her window. Glancing up briefly before waving in her visitor's direction, inviting him in, April laughed at the laptop again. Easing the window down before casually striding over to her perch on the sofa, Raphael quirked an eye ridge in amusement, "What's so funny?"

"My friend Mandy sent me this YouTube video." April peeled her eyes away from the site to smile up at the turtle. Grabbing at his hand, she pulled him onto the couch beside her. "I can't do it justice. You just have to watch it."

"As long as it's not another cat playing "Chopsticks" with chopsticks." He smirked as wrapped an arm around her shoulders before leaning against her to get a better view.

April hit the space bar and prepared her sides for another round of laughter as a baby skunk came into view. Yet, instead of getting the expected chuckle from her boyfriend at the animal's squeak as its sibling tackled it, Raphael became absolutely rigid beside her. Confused by his posture, the red-head tilted her head in his direction, "Hey, what's the matter?"

Raphael didn't answer. Then, several seconds later when the mother skunk came into view, April suddenly found herself abandoned on the couch and with her boyfriend nowhere in sight. Pausing the feed, April ditched her computer on the coffee table before rising, "Raph?"

To her surprise, there was no response. Beginning to wonder if the turtle had left the building, April wandered into the kitchen. Knowing there was really only one place he could go besides the bathroom, she pulled open the wooden door in the room's corner, and was utterly shocked to find Raphael actually hiding in her pantry. "Uh… What are you doing in there?"

For several seconds he said nothing while clenching his fists at his side and panting heavily. More than a little concerned by his odd behaviour April ventured a little closer, "Raphael…?"

Finally she heard him grunt, "Skunk."

"Huh?"

Still at a loss as to how the last few minutes had led them here she gaped up at him, which eventually egged him to grind out, "It was the skunks."

She was none the wiser from such a statement. "The skunks?"

He squeezed his eyes closed in obvious frustration before nodding, "The skunks."

"Okay…" She ran a hand through her hair, "forgive me if I'm wrong, but you are currently hiding in my pantry – the one in which you have cursed and loathed the existence of since Robyn's fateful visit – because of… _skunks_?"

He stiffly nodded once while glaring at her as though she had just asked the stupidest question on the planet. April abandoned her hair to sigh in her own growing irritation, "Raph, do you honestly not have any clue as to why that sounds ridiculous?"

That bit him into response, "You're the one that played it!"

"Wait…" Her eyes widened in dawning comprehension – or she silently hoped it was comprehension, "The YouTube video showing those _adorable baby skunks_ made you randomly decide to hide in my pantry?"

Amber eyes narrowed, "Have you ever been skunk chow?"

"I can't honestly say that I have," April snapped at his glare, "But obviously you haven't either or you wouldn't be here right now."

"Maybe so." Finally he emerged from his hidey-hole, "But that doesn't mean I didn't come close."

April rubbed her palms on her forehead, "Okay, you need to give me a little more than that Raph. Are you saying the video freaked you out because you remember almost getting eaten by a skunk? When did this even happen?"

Huffing, he slammed the pantry closed behind him, "I don't need your teasing O'Neil."

"Does it look like I'm teasing you?" She practically cried in annoyance, "I just want to know why the hell my boyfriend suddenly ditched me to hide in my pantry while I was watching a stupid twenty-second video!"

Avoiding her gaze, his golden eyes drilled holes in the linoleum by the fridge, "It's because me and the guys almost snuffed it not long after you released us."

"If it was so close, why am I just hearing about it now?"

He rolled his eyes, "Because a bunch of adult ninja really want to have it going around that the very thought of skunks scares the shit out of us. Wouldn't Shredder have a field day with that one."

"Hold on…" April leaned against the counter for support, "Are you telling me that you, Leo, Don, and Mikey are all petrified of _skunks_?"

Raphael practically deflated in obvious humiliation, "Yes…"

"Oh..." She was at a loss for words, "Wow…"

"Hey!" He growled at her, "It wasn't like we wanted it to happen! Splinter couldn't move us very far very easily until we got bigger, and so those first couple of weeks he would leave us hiding while he scoped out potential shelters. It was on one of those absences that the skunk found us.

"At the time we had been taking refuge under some tree roots in Central Park. It was night and we thought the rustling was Sensei coming back to us, but it wasn't. Instead, the next thing I knew was I was in the jaws of some black and white monster. I tried pulling my limbs in, but by that point the mutagen had made them too long to go in properly. I thought I was a goner for sure, but by some miracle some kids walking their dog appeared. Fido managed to rip his leash out of his owner's hands and in its hurry to escape, the skunk dropped me, and fled – after it stunk up the joint.

"Splinter came back several hours later to a den full of putrid reptiles. The four of us – me in particular – stunk for weeks, but after that Splinter wouldn't let us out of his sight until he was convinced he had found a secure enough location for us to live. A few months later, we were be big enough that no damn skunk would dare mess with us, but it didn't matter. Even now those fuzz balls still freak the heck out of me."

April couldn't shake the shock his tale was having on her, "But Raphael, you and your brothers are like a thousand times bigger than a skunk! You know there's no way one could ever eat you now right?"

"It doesn't matter April!" He hissed, "My logical mutated brain knows that, but part of me still has that tiny fearful turtle brain and it is convinced that certain things can still eat me no matter how freaking big I am!"

"Wait…" It was too much. Raphael was the most fearless person she knew, and now not only was she finding out that he was terrified of skunks but there were other things as well, "What else do you think's going to eat you?"

Looking momentarily mortified that he had let such an intimate piece of intel slip, Raphael soon sank into a slump of defeat, "I'm not exactly chill with foxes or raccoons, but they don't have quite the same fear factor that skunks do in my books." He rubbed the fabric between his eyes, "And since we're on it, I may as well tell you I'm not a huge fan of bugs either, especially cockroaches."

Oh wow… Her boyfriend was being totally serious. The irony of him being afraid of something so prolific in the city was not lost on her. "You do realize we live in New York don't you?"

"Of course I do!" Apparently it was not lost on him either, "Why do you think I'm feeling like such an idiot telling you about all this shit?"

"I don't think you're an idiot Raph." April pushed off from the counter to place a hand on his arm, "I can't imagine what it must have been like to face off against a giant skunk."

"It wasn't a cakewalk. I can tell you that." He responded flatly.

"I kind of figured that out," April sighed before leaning against his plastron, "But it makes sense. I think bears and tigers are gorgeous but I sure as hell wouldn't want to get on the hungry side of one."

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders before slouching against the fridge so that he could lower himself enough to rest his chin on her forehead. "Yeah well most people would take one look at me and probably think I was going to tear them apart or something too."

"Well I don't date man-eating turtles so I don't think we need to worry about that one."

He chuckled darkly, "Yeah and with all the crap you eat I bet you'd all taste nasty anyways."

"Oh like you're one to talk," April smirked up at him, "I saw you single-handedly inhale that large triple-cheese meat lover's deep dish last night."

He pouted at her, "I had a banana too you know."

"Oh? Was that before or after Michelangelo's deep-fried donuts?"

"Definitely before." He grinned mischievously, "If I had known the twerp snagged those I wouldn't have wasted the room."

April pulled back to pat his rock-hard abdomen, "So are you telling me the shell is basically just keeping all the fat in?"

"Oh right, I'm fat." He snickered before tickling her sides, "Just a total wall of blubber."

She squealed under his relentless fingers, "Yep. We should sign you up for Atkins, Raph."

"Naw," He hoisted her up cradling her rump with his massive hands, "Herbal Magic is the way to go."

"What do you think they'll say when they see your forty inch biceps?" April demonstrated by twisting around to attempt to wrap her hands around said generous muscle.

He squished her against his stomach in illustration before heading to the couch, "Is that before or after I show them my abs?"

"Probably after, they're definitely your weak spot."

Plopping down on the couch he laughed, "I couldn't agree with you more." Before he nodded at the dark-screened laptop, "Hey, I got an idea."

"Oh?" April stretched out across his lap, "What's that?"

"I just thought of a way on how I can get back at Mikey and Donnie for putting superglue on my weights."

Catching onto his train of thought, April smiled devilishly, "Count me in."

* * *

 **A/N Wow… This was all over the place. Also in case you were wondering skunks are turtles' natural predators (as well as racoons and foxes), and apparently the native skunk population in NYC's Central Park is doing quite well (at least they were in January). Go figure.**

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 **Now, to my lovely reviewers:**

 **Gwydion: G! Oh man I have so many things to write you, but I will start here (and hopefully get an email or two out before the weekend's end). Haha you influence me all the time! That's the great thing about being in a fandom – all the inspiration just from random conversations :D I also complain just as much so do not worry. I'm sure you will see what I mean in at least one of my responses XD Thanks for coming back to this fic now that you have some time to breathe!**

 **Guest (Sept 24): Well considering I got a fic out every day of Raphril week I think I did a pretty good job of being content appropriate. I am thrilled you are following my fic so religiously, but please try to be patient! I update when I can, but I really just don't have the free time I used to.**

 **Larka13: Haha yeah XD I imagine Robyn to be more than a little fiery like her cousin and that gives her bravery when it may not always be the best course of action. Thanks for reviewing!**

 **TheLadyOfSouls: Thanks! Yes, it will happen at some point, but I haven't quite worked out the details on that yet. So I delay with fluff XD**

 **Nami Swannn: Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed their interaction :D Thanks for reviewing!**

 **Guest (Aug 24): Haha that was one of my favourite lines as well so I'm glad someone else enjoyed it too! As to Raph and April about to do the nasty… Mmm let's just say Leo would def not approve ;) Thank-you for reading and reviewing!**

 **RBBBH: Eventually I would like Robyn to learn more about the guys/meet them I just haven't worked out how to do that yet. So my solution is to delay by writing fluff in the meantime XD I agree – part of me did consider having Leo secretly crushing on April, but it just didn't feel right to me. I have nothing against Leopril shipping, but it just isn't my thing and I didn't want to add it and therefore unnecessarily complicate things. Of course I can't write anything TMNT without mentioning all the turtles, but this is a Raph and April fic. So Raph and April get the romance.**

 **Yay! I have to admit I have come to love writing these segments at the end of my fics as well. It's my way of reaching out to the fandom – especially because I know I don't have a Tumblr. I have thought about getting one many times, but I'm here to write and I guess part of me feels by just having my stuff on it helps keep me pure to that spirit. That said I still love interacting with my fans so this was my solution! Plus, it's the only way I could think of to respond to guest/anon's reviews as well.**

 **Guest (Aug 23): Um probably not romantically since Robyn is married… I'm not against them meeting and being friends though! Thanks for reviewing and the good luck! So far so good – I'm crazy busy and midterms start this week but I am really enjoying the material so I'm content :)**

 **Maizy C.C: Awe thank-you so much! You're so sweet! As for the tail thing – well in my headcanon all the turtles' have their junk in their tails just like a normal turtle would. In the actual canon… I have no idea. They never have mentioned it (and probably never will), but it's what I choose to believe lol.**

 **SetoAngel01: AHHH! Your reviews make my life girl! Thank-you so much! I don't even know where to start XD Yes – had to make Leo a sci-fi nerd. Admittedly, when 2k12 first introduced the idea I was more than a little wary, but it has grown on me. Plus, I know it helps people relate to Leo better, which is great in my books because although he's not my favourite turtle he and I are probably the most alike and it used to make me sad that people would tend to just write him off as a boring, stick-in-the-mud perfectionist (don't get me wrong he has that in him too but he has so much more!)!**

 **Ahahah you and your Raphril sexy time X'D It's true I am such a tease with this fic, but I am trying to keep it more or less G-rated. That and I don't have the gift of writing smut like some people *cough* you *cough.* It also takes me forever when I do try… Oh well I just have to content myself with the idea of Raph being scared of skunks lol.**


	11. Chapter 11: Christmas Light Reflections

Our Younger Years

 **A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence! Ha, bet you guys weren't expecting two chapters in one night! Huzzah! Sorry if it's a little late, I meant to have it before the holidays, but hey what's better than a little belated Christmas cheer? Also, this one's for Setoangel01, my fellow Raphril shipper whom deserves all the love!**

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Christmas Light Reflections

"Are you sure about this April?"

Raphael tried not to squirm too much as the red-head meticulously arranged his toque, scarf, and coat so that they covered as much of his face as possible. Between them and the mask, it would be hard pressed for anyone to make out any of his abnormal facial features. Too bad his damn body hulked out obviously even underneath the long, black, and heavy winter trench coat April had dug up. "Yes, Raphael. Stop worrying so much; it'll be fine."

He had his doubts about that. With his massive feet shoved into an implausibly large pair of galoshes and the baggy sweatpants he had been forced to wear he was pretty sure he would attract attention. He'd be _that guy_. The weirdo wandering the suburbs of New York. Great, they would probably get the cops called on them before the night's end.

"Still seems like an awful lot of effort to look at a bunch of stupid lights," Raphael grumbled behind his layers.

April frowned at him, "We've already discussed this to death, Raph."

It's true, they had. Weeks ago, as the first snow began to fall, April had offhandedly commented on how she wanted to see the Christmas lights with him. He had obliged her with a nonchalant, "sure" and quickly forgot the conversation. Little did Raphael know, April apparently had been dead serious about said not insignificant exchange. Over the course of the following weeks, his girlfriend had been secretly planning the perfect light-seeking route. Come the second week of December, she had a tentative plan and with a little assisted reconnaissance from Michelangelo, the final route was confirmed.

The following day marked what would become a saga of heated debating and arguing between Raphael and April over the worth of actually partaking in such an activity. It wasn't that Raphael was against seeing the lights, but he just could not understand why April insisted on them walking through snowy suburbs to do so when driving around in the van would provide the same effect. Not only that, but it would be warm. Sure April had gathered some pretty impressive gear, but it still did not change the fact that Raphael was cold-blooded and would automatically feel fatigued the instant he stepped outside. It happened every year and usually he and his brothers just bunked down in the sewers for the season. Even Master Splinter would cut back on training because his sons simply did not have their normal energy levels.

However, now that April was in their lives, this year had been a little different. Despite their less enthused states, she still visited them regularly trying to brighten their moods. She also expected Raphael to continue to maintain his current schedule of topside apartment visits. Of course Raphael would go through a blizzard to get to her, but he could not deny running across frozen rooftops every other night was more than a little hard on him. His usual zonking out for about an hour upon arriving at April's apartment while his body warmed itself up was proof of that.

Yet despite putting up with their reptilian nature, April had done overall a pretty admirable job of adapting to her friends' annual _predicament_ , but it had been a little different with the whole Christmas lights shtick. Evidently, no force on earth would keep April O'Neil from dragging Raphael's ass out to see those damn lights.

In retrospect, Raphael wondered why he had even given a peep of objection in the first place. Apparently, hell hath no fury like a woman being denied her festive walk through a winter wonderland; another one to put in the books of "I will never understand April O'Neil."

Still, even if he had reconciled defeat, Raphael was never one to bow down gracefully, never mind that he secretly was a little excited himself for this particular adventure. That side of him was treacherous and needed to be kept under lock and key, especially now. He grunted into his scarf, "Just making sure you know my opinion on the matter."

April raised an eyebrow at him, "Pretty sure an elephant would have been more subtle than you've been about this."

"Hmph." Raphael didn't even dare look in the mirror. Seeing the get-up he was in would only sour his mood. He also knew if he saw April's adorable reflection – thoroughly dolled up in her red bomber jacket and navy hat – next to _him_ … He would lose his nerve. Hidden anticipation or not, Raphael had his limits. "Fine. Whatever. You ready to hit the road?"

Bright blue eyes unfalteringly met his, "Do you even have to ask?"

Raphael allowed himself enough leeway to chuckle as April's gloved hand caught his as she pulled him into the hallway, "Guess not."

This had been one of the few times Raphael had even ventured beyond the doorway of April's apartment. He had been in the hallway a couple of times at most, and he definitely had never been in the elevator. Following April into the small compartment he tried not to fidget too much lest he accidently reveal his green-scaled flesh beneath. He wasn't fond of the prospect of potentially being so close to other humans, but with April there beside him lightly squeezing his hand, Raphael figured it wasn't so bad.

That is until they reached the ground floor and the thick metal doors slid open to reveal a little boy and his mother awaiting the lift. Having the kid's eyes widen had not been great. Having the mother's eyes widen as well had been hell. Averting eye contact as best as he could, Raphael strode out essentially leaving April behind. He could literally feel their eyes on him right until the door closed. Hearing the child regain himself before said cut off point had been the fucking icing on the fucking cake, "Momma, what's wrong with that man?"

Then the doors were shut and Raphael was left with a stiffened spine in the middle of the apartment lobby. The only blessing was that no others were in the vicinity at the moment. When April appeared in his center of vision, he only tensed further, "Hey, don't let them ruin your evening, okay?"

Raphael snorted before making his way to the front doors – may as well get this shit show over with, "Right, an evening of _that_. What could be better?"

"Raph…" April tried again as he pushed open the glass door.

"Forget it April." He ground out, "Let's just get this over with."

Under the street light she tried to catch his eye, but the mutant turtle wasn't having any of it. As far as he was concerned she had made her bed so she could bloody well sleep in it. Purposely, he lengthened his stride to keep her feet clicking quickly beside him just trying to keep up. If the rhythmic little puffs of mist emanating from her mouth weren't a tip off, her panting made it more than obvious that his plan was working. Leave her so focused on keeping up and he could avoid her interrogations. Plus it didn't give any passerby time to take a second look. The moment they suspected something was off, Raphael was out of sight.

So what if he was being a total ass? What else was new?

Finally hitting the first of the many glowing streets to come that evening, Raphael fully attempted to continue his pace as the first strands of lights came within a stone's throw. That plan was quickly derailed when a pair of hands caught hold of his elbow. Taking a second to realize his hitchhiker, Raphael continued for several more feet easily dragging April as her heels failed to gain any sort of grip on the icy cement, "Raphael! Stop!"

It was then when his brain finally realized his arm was sporting an extra sixty-some kilograms that he froze and looked down at her as though surprised to see her gasping on his arm. However, exhausted or not, April found her tongue, "Are you done?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," He huffed while glancing away again.

"Bullshit!" That had his eyes back on her, "We just did a thirty minute walk in less than half the time, and you literally just dragged me a good five feet! So now that we're here all I can say is you better cut the crap."

He hated how she glared at him. He hated the entire situation, "Don't you put the blame on me April! This was your stupid idea!"

"An idea you've fought against every step of the way!" She snapped back.

"Because it's a bad idea!"

"No it's not!"

"I'm sorry," He rumbled, "What part of walking around in the open with your mutant turtle of boyfriend sounds like a good idea? Oh right, none of it!"

"You're wrong, Raphael!" April stood as tall as she could, "Michelangelo and I came three nights ago, and it was fine. Sure he got a few odd looks, but he just shrugged it off. You on the other hand," She gestured angrily, "Have one kid make a dumb comment – like all kids do – and immediately go off your rocker!"

Raphael didn't know what made him angrier, the fact that Michelangelo had already done what he thought would be just a thing between April and him or the fact that his girlfriend completely spurned the validity of his pain from the earlier encounter. Unable to voice his feelings on the latter, Raphael's emotions instead chose to burst forth on the former, "You told me Mike helped you plan the route. You never told me he actually took you!"

"Because I knew you would turn into a jealous jerk about it!" April snapped, "But I also had no other way to prove that it was a good route unless I did a test run first because I knew there was no way I could convince you to come unless I did!"

Raphael clenched his jaw. How the hell would she know? She hadn't even asked him! "It's called _asking_ April. I can't do anything unless you ask."

"Asking?!" April barked out a dark laugh, "There's no point in asking Raph if you know you're going to be shot down."

"Why would you even think that?!"

"Because it's what you always do! It's like pulling teeth to get you out."

"That's because it's fucking winter April and I'm a reptile! You try being energetic when you're cold-blooded. Trust me, it ain't no fucking picnic."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's you."

"Don't you-"

She cut him off, "Don't you dare tell me what I can and can't do Raph. Fuck," She cursed as she tried to compose herself, "Even when you were a normal turtle you weren't that badly affected by winter!"

"Oh and how would you know?" Raphael folded his arms over his plastron, "You a turtle whisperer now too?"

"If you stop being an ass for two seconds and think back you'd know I'm right!"

He broke his gaze away again in frustration. Yeah right. April didn't know anything. His eyes swept over the multi-coloured incandescent bulbs on a nearby hedge. He was the reptile here. Not her. She didn't get a say. Amber irises flicked around again, catching the reflection of said glowing shrubbery in a pool of half-frozen ice. Not like he could remember… Anything… Anyway…

He knew something had to be up. The humans hadn't been around as much the last few days and when they were they always seemed to smell different. It made his snout crinkle, the spicy scents of which he would learn much later to belong to ginger and cinnamon, but not as much as the biting smell the men held on their breath one particular evening when they were much louder than normal. Of course he had no idea what it was. A baby turtle knew nothing of Christmas and he especially knew nothing of Christmas parties and alcohol.

However, it wasn't the first change that intrigued his curiosity – which was saying something because Raphael wasn't all that curious for the most part. He mostly cared about food, needles, and that one girl, but if he could put words to describe what was happening, the little turtle would know over the last few months he was becoming progressively more curious. This newfound wonder he was gradually developing heightened one particular night when the little human appeared.

Except this time she did not bring her customary fruit-based goodies. Instead she had a strange long coiled thing. It looked a little bit like the rat's tail, but this one was far longer. It also had tiny objects attached to it, and if he cocked his head ever-so-slightly at just the right moment, he was sure he could see through them just like he could with the wall around his tank.

For a long while the red-haired human simply fiddled with the coiled thing – it often twisted in her hands and in the back of Raphael's brain he wondered if it was alive? He soon dismissed the idea though. This human never hurt him or the others; she wouldn't start harming this new thing. Besides, it smelt of plastic and copper – scents of things not alive. Eventually, after an indeterminate amount of time, the girl began attaching the long coil to the tops of the tanks. Raphael still was trying to puzzle out the purpose of her actions, when she disappeared for a moment. Then there was a click and the long thing above alit in a multitude of colours.

It only took a split-second for Raphael to retreat into his shell. However, when no hands came to grab him to probe him and abuse him, the tiny turtle slowly dared to glance out. The lights were so bright they seemed fuzzy around the periphery. Yet, despite their luminosity, they did not provide him warmth like the orange light in the corner of his cage did. These ones simply cast his tank into an array of colours. New shadows were formed and his home seemed almost alien, but then he glanced up at the girl perched on the table above and saw her smiling brightly.

He knew what that meant. Flashing their teeth despite what his intuition initially told him did not mean the same thing for the humans, and it especially meant something good when it came to this human. Carefully, he wandered to the barrier of his cage and looked up, and the girl's smile widened further. When she spoke he didn't understand her words, but he knew it was a good thing, "Merry Christmas Raph."

At the noise he tilted his head before returning his gaze to scan his transformed home. Even the area in which he swum was tinged with colour as the rainbow beams reflected softly on the surface, blurring into a cauldron of kaleidoscopic light.

His attention abruptly shot back to the human when he sensed the air shift. Before him, inches from his snout were her pale pink fingers. She did this sometimes. Raphael did not know why. He had come to realize that these giant creatures must have something to gain by handling him regularly, after all that was the only way they could manage to give him their injections. Yet, this female only ever picked him up to feed him. She also did what she was doing now: dangling her fingers in his face. He didn't get it, but as he took note of her silenced breath, he vaguely realized in the transforming depths of his reptilian brain that maybe there was something to it.

It was in that moment that his tiny little turtle brain registered for the first time what had been growing within him for so very long. He was curious and it was not directed at food or the new lights, but the slim appendages of the creature before him.

Slowly, caution still present despite this newfound urge, he took a step closer. He could smell this human's familiar scent of vanilla and strawberries strongly before, but now at this close proximity, it was nearly overwhelming. But it was good. This creature was good. Shifting his weight appropriately he began the next and final step that he knew would put him within touching distance of this being. Yes, he had been in contact with humans many times before, but never solely on his terms. Even when drawn by the girl's offer of food, part of him wanted nothing more than to turn tail and run, but this time was different.

This time he _wanted_ to touch her. He wanted to know what she felt like. He wanted to know more about her.

Fixing his petite stubby legs in place, he stretched out his neck, and slowly, gently, moved his face towards her fingers. Literal millimeters from her finger pads, he took a deep breath before poking her with his snout. Her fingers were warm and surprisingly soft. Why had he never noticed the softness of them before? He took a tiny lick of her fingers. They did not taste heavily of salt as they sometimes did, but he didn't mind. He wasn't looking for salt this time. Seconds later, he was satisfied, and with his curiosity more than appeased he pulled back and angled his head to look up at the hand's owner. Far above, still smiling with her teeth he noted the water droplets clinging to the corners of deep blue eyes.

Suddenly, his tiny terrapin heart ached with something he did not understand, and he wouldn't recognize it until his vision shifted years later as he returned from the realm of memory to the present, leaning on a lamp post for support. Raphael took several deep and rapid breaths trying to slow down his now pounding heart. Well aware of how it continually ached in his chest he turned his amber eyes, widened in shock, in April's direction, "How did you…"

April looked at him searchingly in silence for a moment before answering, "You remember."

It wasn't a question. He rubbed a gloved hand over his face still futilely trying to recover, "I didn't. Not until about thirty seconds ago."

Remaining stock still she murmured, "That was the first time you touched me of your own free will."

Almost ceremoniously Raphael slowly rose his head to meet her eyes. Flaring his nostrils, his memory only strengthened when the light scent of strawberries and vanilla wafted in. His heart pounded harder.

But Raphael wasn't that tiny little turtle anymore and now he understood what it all meant.

Regaining motion of his limbs, his weight shifted just as it did so long ago, except now he balanced miraculously on two legs. One step away and her scent consumed him once more. After a single step he no longer found himself looking up but towering over the girl who he now felt so much more than mere curiosity towards.

Then again, even that tiny turtle so long ago had known somewhere in the developing recesses of its mind that there had been something else there. Back then he had been incapable of processing such a feeling. Back then he had done nothing more than stare. But that was years ago and he was no longer that scared little reptile.

Leaning down, Raphael tipped April's chin up with his glove so that she could find his eyes behind his disguise. Wrapping his spare arm around her shoulders, his blood beat faster as her cheeks bloomed with the most gentle of blushes. Pressing his forehead against hers he murmured, "Merry Christmas to you too April."

Later, as they wandered under the endless multitude of lights, for the first time since that first spark of burgeoning curiosity everything finally made sense. The tiny turtle was gone, but he had found peace under the Christmas bliss with April by his transformed side.

* * *

 **A/N Maybe a bit cheesy but it's an Xmas fic so what do you expect? I have no regrets lol.**

 **This chapter also now marks the end of Our Younger Years. I now have its sequel up, Our Older Years, which is worth checking out if you liked this one.**

 **To my lovely reviewers:**

 **Setoangel01: Sorry it's a tad late hun, but I hope it was worth the wait! Belated Merry Christmas!**


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